Thursday, May 16, 2019

№ 596.1: EXTRA! Pardonable (a Black day)

Trump Pardons Ex-Media Baron Conrad Black, a Former Business Partner

White House hails ‘exceptional character’ of conservative figure who left prison in 2012


WASHINGTON—President Trump pardoned a former media baron and onetime business partner convicted of fraud and obstruction of justice charges, as well as a former Republican leader in the California Legislature imprisoned for corruption.


In granting a pardon Wednesday to Lord Conrad Black, Mr. Trump cited “broad support from many high-profile individuals who have vigorously vouched for his exceptional character,” the White House said in a statement.

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(with apologies to Sir Michael and Keith)

WONDERLAND, May 16

My pardon power can free anyone I choose.
No matter how they reek of crime and slime and ooze.
Conrad's my pal because we did a business deal.
That we're corrupt is just part of our appeal.

He wrote a book that says I'm a real good guy.
I have not read it but they tell me it's no lie.
I see Dems shake their heads and maybe more will run
against me now that I'm having fun.

I look inside myself and see I'm Conrad Black.
So like Roy Cohn taught me I go on the attack.
I know my friends on FOX will say, “Okay, relax.
That Black's a real big crook is just a pointless fact.”

Let Dems sip green tea and hold their pinkies up.
Let them subpoena me. Voters love me. I'm corrupt.
I took a good hard look at the eclipsing sun
and I can pardon me when impeachment comes.

My pardon power can free crooks like Conrad Black.
The Constitution's just a piece of antique bric-a-brac.
Just as with women I say, “Now take off your clothes.”
The country's over now. That's the way it goes.

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

I want to see Conrad free, Conrad back
Black is white, that's my goal
I want to see democracy, blotted out from the sky
I want to see it painted, painted, painted, painted black
Yeah

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm

Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm