Saturday, November 11, 2017

No. 203: WEEKEND SPECIAL Donald's Rasputin

Guardian: Trump believes Putin on Russia meddling and says Mueller may cost lives

When I look 'im straight in the eye
I know Vlad is my kinda guy,
so I ignore FBI and CIA distortion
that blow Russian “meddling” out of proportion.
Russians, of course, had their opinions
but that does not mean they unleashed their minions
to sway the vote in certain states.
Look at the tapes. I won the debates!
(That, I gotta tell ya, is not my vanity.
You don't believe me, go ask Sean Hannity!)
Trust me, Vlad's a professional. Pure KGB.
Won The Order Of Lenin! Would he lie to me?
My respect for him is enormous.
He is the kindest, bravest, warmest,
most wonderful human being
(believing is seeing)
I've known in my life.
(Except, maybe, for my present wife,
who—this is funny—coincidently
was also born in a Communist country.)
Together Vlad and I march forward
and if not forward certainly toward
the sort of future we think'll suit yer.
Vlad gains Ukraine, I deport Mexicans.
We do what we do, because YES, WE CAN!

Note matching "Odor of Lenin" badges. Engagement present?

















Friday, November 10, 2017

No. 202: Moore's Law


Judge Moore is a Christian
there is no doubt
on State Supreme Court
he gave a shout-out
to the Ten Commandments
and said he be damned if
an Alabama court clerk
would let gay marriage work.

While sex abuse must be condemned,
Roy just abused girls as the Good Lord intends.


Thursday, November 9, 2017

No. 201: A Place For Trump

(with apologies to Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim.)

“Somewhere” (<— Click to start orchestra in new page. Return here to sing along.)

There's a place for me,
In outer space for me.
Steak and cake and, of course, my hair.
All for me,
Somewhere.

There's a time for me,
A time sublime for me,
Every morning on Fox & Friends
Truth suspends, facts all end,
Sometime.
Somewhere.
After alt-right Revolution,
I'll have the power of Putin . . .
Somewhere . . .

There's a place for me,
All time, all space for me.
I gotta tell ya it's goin' well,
We're on our way, straight t' hell.
Right now,
Today,
Right here!

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

No. 200: West Slide Story (Korean Edition)

(Leonard Bernstein과 Stephen Sondheim에게 사과와 함께.)
(with apologies to Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim.)

"Maria" (<— Click to start orchestra in new page. Return here to sing along. English lyrics follow Korean.)

대한민국. . .
한반도에 두 나라. . .
한국, 한국, 한국. . .
하나는 현대적이고 다른 하나는 (나 같은) 섬 모양입니다. . .
한국, 한국, 한국. . .
대한민국!
에어 포스 원 (Air Force One)
모두 무서워
내가 준비가 안되어서
그래서 달아나 라.
대한민국!
내가 한국에 할 줄 알아?
나쁘지 않을거야.
블라드에게 남겨둔다.
와 사이
대한민국!
내 멍청이라고 생각해. . .
폭파를 시작할 때까지 기다릴 뿐이에요. . .
대한민국,
그것은 한국을 위해 모두 일 것입니다!

한때 한반도의 두 나라. . .
대한민국!!

Korea. . .
Two nations on one pen-in-su-la. . .
Korea, Korea, Korea, Korea. . .
One's modern and the other's (like me) in-su-lar. . .
Korea, Korea, Korea, Korea. . .
Korea!
Air Force One just touched down in Korea,
Everyone be scared
because I'm unprepared,
so flee.
Korea!
God knows I'll do to Korea?
It might not be so bad
to leave it up to Vlad
and Xi
Korea!
You consider my bluster alarming. . .
Just you wait until I start my bombing. . .
Korea,
that will be all for Korea!
Ko-reee-a!
Korea.
Ko-reeee-a.
Korea.
Korea.
Korea.
Ko-reeeee-a.
Korea.
Korea.
You consider my bluster alarming. . .
Just you wait until I start my bombing. . .
Korea,
that will be no more Korea!

Two countries on a peninsula that used to be. . .
Ko-re-a!

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

No. 199: Donnie Takes A Haiku (Gesundheit!)

アメリカ人
大統領は日本に行き、
彼は計画はなかった。

"LinkedInの私の友達:
あなたの首相、
アブラハムリンカーン。

「私がホクムに話すと、
私は人々を扇動し、私は彼らを突きつけた。
あまりにもダイエットコーク? うーん?

"素晴らしいエンターテイメント、
非常にメリーな興奮:
新しい起訴。

"私の櫛を持って来てください。
これらの偽の髪を私のドームで撫でてください。
いや、家に帰ってもいい? "

An American
president went to Japan,
He hadn't a plan.

“My friends on LinkedIn:
your Prime Minister, Abe,
Abraham Lincoln.

“When I speak hokum,
I provoke folk, I poke 'em.
Too Diet Coke? Hmm?

“Great entertainment,
very merry excitement:
a new indictment.

“Please fetch me my comb.
Tease these fake hairs on my dome.
Jeez, may I go home?”

Monday, November 6, 2017

No. 198: W[h]ither W[e]e Ghost

Evolution's competing
is self-defeating.
Despite short-term “success”,
“progress” is a mess.