№ 392: Forwards Runs Senescence Until Reveals The Mind

The Trumpublican Party now and forever —

no man-made activities affecting the weather! —

will proclaim always “America First”

come hell (in TIME) or high water 
from glaciers and cloudbursts.

It's only fair to pollute the air

if it results in a profit.

As to the water —

have you seen my daughter? —

I drink Diet Coke. I do not care.

I love the flag

and I love coal.

I have to brag

I'm not growing old.

I LOVE Viagra.

I don't need a soul.

Souls make no sense.

Just look at Pence!

There was NO “COLLUSION”! —

lock her up, lock her up.

Funny name, Mnuchin.

Yo', bro, wassup?

Us billionaires 

are fixed for life.

(Guy looks like that,

with such a hot wife?)

Glad Ryan's retirin'.

You would be, too.

Last thing I need:

a three-percent Jew.

Jared, Ivanka?

I know, I know.

I think they do it

bigly for show.

My Evangelicals?

We'll see, we'll see.

What good is God 

when you're got me?

№ 391: An Apprehensive Pensive Prediction

Cassandra was a princess of Troy

who Apollo gifted with prophecy.

And everything she could foresee

was, invariably, right on the money.

Despite that, she never let

Apollo Phoebus “achieve” her.

Being a god, he — likely thinking it funny —

saw to it that no one believed her.

(I think this we might construe

as an early example of today's #MeToo.)

As you may surmise, I cannot prophesize

anything like a Cassandra.

What I can do — admit it, you KNEW! —

is indulge a small talent for poetical dander.

I predict victory for Trump/Pence 2020

and the end of U.S. democracy,

which will be replaced, after the coup,

by a Mike Pence Holy Theocracy.

(Mike Pence, I hear, believes he's God's plan

for turning us into a bigger Iran.)

№ 390.1: EXTRA! Trump Ets, Blows Smoke

HuffPo: Donald Trump Says You Need A Picture ID To Buy Groceries In America

The president made the comment while pushing for voter ID laws at a Florida rally.

Guardian: Trump pushes Jeff Sessions to end Mueller's Russia investigation 'right now'

President rages on Twitter against ‘terrible situation’ but White House says tweet was ‘not an order but the president’s opinion’

Welcome to Donald Trump's land of the free

where grocery shopping requires photo id

and if you try to buy stuff otherwise we're guaranteeing

you'll get a sentence of five to fifteen.

Meanwhile, collusion is not a crime

and Jeff should make Mueller stop wasting my time.

№ 390: The Trump And Rudy Show

First, “NO COLLUSION! Not at any time!”

Then, “Collusion? Okay. BUT. . .that's not a crime.”

Rudy's legal word games sound a lot like Bill Clinton's,

his eyeballs are shuttlecocks misplayed in badminton.

As a consigliere, clearly, Rudy's a dud.

A bumbling and incompetent old Elmer Fudd.

For once and for all let us end all confusion,

saying straight out that treason's collusion.

The act is the fact whatever it's called.

Even Trump's Evangelicals would be appalled

were they not in the thrall of the orange hairball.

Pardon me if I sound like a grump.

BUT there's stupid, there's Rudy.

And then there is Trump.

№ 389: Matthew 25:40 (updated)

The Daily Beast: Jeff Sessions’ ‘Religious Liberty Task Force’ Declares Holy War on LGBT People

The attorney general's new ‘Religious Liberty Task Force’ will ensure that the Trump administration’s program of discrimination against LGBT people and others continues unchecked.

We Christians must, of course, be free

to persecute those with whom we disagree.

That is what we mean by religious liberty.

This is because our God is weakish

unable to tolerate anything freakish.

And He gets pissed when we act meekish.

Yeah, right, “inherit the earth”.

We're darned tired of waiting. (For what it's worth.)

Why be last, God wants us first.

So away, we say, with all humility.

Forget Marxist (Christian?) “needs” and “abilities”.

Take what you can, there's no culpability.

You know what you want, then dagnabit.

You go on ahead and you grab it.

We gotta get past the “peace Jesus” habit.

To save us from gays, God gave us AIDS

to kill them by squadrons, battalions, brigades.

The modern equivalent of the Holy Crusades.

So it's a sin to spend Christian tax money on

developing drugs so they go on living on.

Better they die and go where we know they belong.

So much in this world we have to rectify.

So many sinners need to be crucified.

Or, at the least, made to die otherwise.

And to show we are not fooling around

we propose expanding “standing your ground”

to include a [white] Christian's inalienable right

to shoot whoever they dislike on sight.

№ 388: I, Donald

Guardian: Trump threatens government shutdown over immigration

President tweets demand for Democratic co-operation

“I would be willing to ‘shut down’ government if the Democrats do not give us the votes for Border Security,” the president tweeted, “which includes the Wall!”

The Cæsars and the Napoleons

and, of course, all of the tsars —

not to mention Hohenzollerns,

Hapsburgs. . .Ming the Merciless 
with Flash Gordon on Mars! —

would never permit the slightest whit

of opposition to darken their sky,

I herewith submit, if they took no shit,

then neither will I.

Tim O'Brien The Village Voice

Notable birthday for yesterday, July 29:

BORN ON THIS DAY

1883

Benito Mussolini

Born this day in 1883, Benito Mussolini was the first of 20th-century Europe's fascist dictators, assuming absolute power of Italy in 1922, and his harsh rule and involvement in World War II  led to his death in 1945. —  Encyclopædia Britannica

BORN ON THIS DAY

1883

Benito Mussolini

Born this day in 1883, Benito Mussolini was the first of 20th-century Europe's fascist dictators, assuming absolute power of Italy in 1922, and his harsh rule and involvement in World War II  led to his death in 1945.
—  Encyclopædia Britannica 

The Week In Rearview (July 29, 2018)

Monday, July 23, 2018
№ 383: Another Way Of Looking At It
What if?
MORE

Tuesday, July 24, 2018
№ 384: Flown The Coup?
Donald J. Trump is missing from the White House
MORE

Wednesday, July 25, 2018
№ 385: Donald Duets (Alone)
No one does anything better than me
MORE

Thursday, July 26, 2018
№ 386: Donald's Lament
Lawyer for Cohen says audio, given to CNN, shows client tried to handle payment legally while Trump wanted to pay in cash
MORE

Friday, July 27, 2018
№ 387: Happiness Is (Donald Trump edition)
Happiness is
MORE

Email subscribers: Saturday, July 21 – Friday, July 27
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