THE DAILY DOGGEREL®: 2018-06-10

Friday, June 15, 2018

№ 357.1: EXTRA! What Sessions Mentions (or beware evil weevils quoting scripture)

WaPo: Sessions cites Bible passage used to defend slavery in defense of separating immigrant families (Paywall)

“There are two dominant places in American history when Romans 13 is invoked,” said John Fea, a professor of American history at Messiah College in Pennsylvania. “One is during the American Revolution [when] it was invoked by loyalists, those who opposed the American Revolution.”

The other, Fea said, “is in the 1840s and 1850s, when Romans 13 is invoked by defenders of the South or defenders of slavery to ward off abolitionists who believed that slavery is wrong. I mean, this is the same argument that Southern slaveholders and the advocates of a Southern way of life made.”

Who would not love

be there the day

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III

passes away?

There, at the Pearly Gates, with St. Pete

on the day Jeff's called to meet

and explain to his maker

why all his life he was

such a Gawd-awful faker,

pretending to “Christian” ideals,

fortified by out-of-context appeals

to King James Bible chapter and verse

which read as a whole say just the reverse

of what he claims.

But, as you know, Jeff has other aims.

His maker's reprimand will be terse

and the result for Jeff will be worse

than that meted out to lesser political hacks

because his maker loves Hispanics and Blacks

more than He cares for White Hoods who claim

they know His will and do crap in His name.

№ 357: The State Of The Press

Thursday, June 14, 2018

№ 356: E=mc racist?

Guardian: Einstein's travel diaries reveal 'shocking' xenophobia

“Even the children are spiritless and look obtuse.”

“It would be a pity if these Chinese supplant all other races.”

[in Ceylon people] “live in great filth and considerable stench at ground level. . .”

“Japanese. . .[o]ne has to love and admire this country. . . .intellectual needs of this nation seem to be weaker than their artistic ones – natural disposition?”

Just goes to show

as you'd expect

when no one's looking

saints aren't perfect.

If Albert wrote this

with total aplomb,

must we now disavow

the atom bomb?

But, please, let us not

jump to the conclusion

that Albert'd be down with

Trump's Klu Klux Kollusion.

Distressing, of course,

that he thought others vermin.

Einstein was Jewish

but Albert is German*.

_______________________
*#UStoo, "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist"

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

№ 355: BLISS (a Trumpinfant time-line)

Russia once was

part of G-8

and then something happened

In ancient Roma

people were pagans

and then something happened

Long time ago

Eve met a snake

and then something happened

On a December morn

there was peace with Japan

and then something happened

There were thirteen

English Crown colonies

and then something happened

I remember

I married Ivana

and then something happened

No one expected

I'd be elected

and then something happened

America meant

freedom and decency

and then something happened

Spouting lies

throwing shade

everyone loved

how I love getting laid

Michael Cohen

saw to it the ladies got paid

I AM MYSELF ALONE

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

THE WORLD'S EVER KNOWN

THAT SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME

COULD EVER HAVE HAPPENED!

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

№ 354: An Inside Scoop

USA Today: Trump's team accuses Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of stabbing him in the back

WASHINGTON — Trump administration officials on Sunday accused Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of stabbing President Trump in the back, blaming him for the president's refusal to endorse a joint statement with other world leaders.

If you're wondering what

caused Donald Trump's Canada,

airborne, melt-down hissy fit,

now it can be told

our investigative reporters'

anonymous sources

have got us right to

the bottom of it.

Here is the deal,

we now can reveal

what Donald was thinking of.

Which before this

no one had even an inkling of.

You know what Sam Bee (accurately?)

called Ivanka, Crown Princess Trump?

You can bet your ass,

Daddy would not let that pass

with only a grunted, “Hrumpf!”

When Donald discovered

Ms. Bee is Canadian

a Niagara of anger

started cascading in.

While Donald does care

when you mock his hair

and his teeny (too grabby) paws,

you must realize

if you criticize
Ivanka,

HE'S DECLARING WAR!

[Updated 6/12/2018 1:38 am]

Monday, June 11, 2018

№ 353.1: EXTRA! So That's What's Become Of The Old Constitution

POLITICO: Meet the guys who tape Trump's papers back together

The president's 'unofficial filing system' involves tearing up documents into pieces, even when they're supposed to be preserved.

...White House aides realized early on that they were unable to stop Trump from ripping up paper after he was done with it and throwing it in the trash or on the floor. . .

Is it time to move on,

throw the towel in

and go with Trump's take on

Putin's watered-down Stalin?

Could it be, in the end,

that's how it works?

Divine Right Of Kings evolves

into Divine Right Of Jerks?

№ 353: Sooey Ungenerous

If Trump were not “human”
what might he be?
Though it is tempting to say
“chimpanzee”,
I won't because,
for all their shortcomings,
this false equivalence
is unfair to chimps
who in their love-life
do not employ pimps.

Though he moves faster,
he resembles a sloth.
(Which comparison would,
I know, piss him off.)
To say he's like them
is unfair to sloths,
who, unlike him,
stick to their troths.

As much as I'd like to
I really can't
say, basically,
he is an ant.
Ants are builders.
Ants are industrious.
Ants don't go bankrupt.
Ants aren't corruptive.

Also, in spite of his leonine roars,
Donald is not a lion.
Not with those weeny, if grabby, paws!
And that Don Jr. and Eric, his boys,
love killing lions
must needs cause me to pause —
this comparison just has too “bigly” flaws.

Is, perhaps, he more dinosaur?
A possibility we cannot ignore.
It's something about which we have to think.
But it can't be. Dinosaurs are extinct.

I could, I suppose, keep going on
(and on and on and on and on)
until — O! Happy Day! — Donald is gone.
When there's an end to daily bum-pity-bump,
when we are rid of this cancerous lump,
when we've seen the last of Donald Trump.
_____________________
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