№ 792.1: EXTRA! Another Country Heard From

HERE AND NOW (February 14) —
THE DAILY DOGGEREL® without condescension
would like to call this to our reader's attention.

№ 792: All Over, This Land?

REALITY (February 13)
Protest songs never change anything,

no matter how often they’re sung.

(Though they may cause an uptick in hammer sales

or the number of times a bell may be “wrung”.)

Songs, poems, plays . . . op-ed essays?

Tools used by full-of-it fools.

If you want win there are no rules.

No logic nor honor. No ethics nor decency.

You do what you have to with sufficient frequency

to render opponents completely depleted.

Defeated. Downhearted. (Dare I say deleted*?)

Reality, withal it's annoying restriction,

assures virtue triumphs solely in fiction.

——————
*I think it was Alan King who once quipped, “Do unto others and do it quick, before they do unto you.”

№ 791: Crook V. Schnook

PLEASE NO (February 12)

If Republicans picked Trump’s ideal opponent,

it would certainly be Bernie Sanders

who is — far and away! — the most loathed by voters

to whom — today! — the GOP panders:

a wooly-thinking Socialist schlump

(who even supporters see as a grump)

who'll guarantee GOP won't sit on their rump

but get out and vote and reelect Trump.

№ 790: Coronavirus

Coronavirus ‘could infect 60% of global population if unchecked’

Exclusive: Public health epidemiologist says other countries should consider adopting China-style containment measures


Email subscribers click here.

QUARANTINE (February 11)

(with apologies to Alec Wilder, Morty Palitz, and Bill Engvick)

Plagues are made to kill off excess
populations who don't aggress
suf-fic-ient-ly, who breed too fast,
who want a broom, whose time is past.

If this virus can knock us off
not with a Big Bang, but a cough,
it's not the birth of peace on Earth.
We will not be missed, nonetheless.

№ 789.1: EXTRA! Iowa And New Hampshire

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CONCORD AND HARMONY (February 11)


(with apologies Stephen Stills)

Clueless, but “caring”, 

the Democrats caucused in I-o-wa,

(for Dems not where IT is at)

Foolishly asking white, midwest, fake farmers

to jump start their bound-to-lose tick-it

Only to trip on their lousy tech guys.

Quickly unrav’ling,

recounting and cav’lling o-ver

which loser won the vote.

Heedlessly heading toward Trump’s reelection

and making their chances more remote
because
HELLO!

there was no person

in the run-ning

who, come November,

Trump would not smother.

On to New Hampshire, a nearly as bad state for liberals,

(and everybody else),

where just because it is next to his “home” state, 

Bernie, likely, would do well.
No joking.
HELLO!

There is no person

on the ballot

who, come November,

Trump will not smother.

№ 789: Trump Triumphant March

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THE IMPERIAL PALACE (February 10)

(with apologies to Phil Ochs)

I could not be drafted. Terrible “bone spurs”,

which, let me tell you, made me sore.

My unfortunate condition was a major imposition.

Otherwise, I would have won the war.

I, myself alone, could have captured Ho Chi Minh,

had him begging, crying, pleading on all fours.

They forced me to stay home because “spurs” were on my bone. . . 

otherwise, I would have won the war.

It really was a shame but I was not to blame.

Doctor's letter said, “This boy is lame.”

I cudda had real fun runnin' with a gun

winning medals, battles, and a lot of fame.

My granddad deserted his homeland, Germany,

so he would not have to fight in Prussia's wars,

and my daddy, Fred, had NAZI sympathies.

Otherwise, I would have won the war.

I know more than generals and admirals and the rest

when it all comes down to use of force.
As any will attest, I am always very best,
so, of course, I'd win any war.

It really was a shame but I was not to blame.

Doctor's letter said, “This boy is lame.”

I cudda had real fun runnin' with a gun

winning medals, battles, and a lot of fame.

As Supremest Leader I can do what I like:

add my face to Rushmore, settle scores,

tell anyone who bothers me, “You can take a hike!”

And, of course, I can win a war.

Now Democrats are crazy 'cause the market's headed up,

while unemployment's going through the floor.

Even if it's treason, there really is no reason

I can't go out and win a war.

An easy-peasy, tiny little war.

№ 788: The Route Of The Problem (a protest song)

PENSÉ (February 9)

Singing along will not save the world
I'd say it's obvious why
Even songs written by Dylan or Springsteen,
or the Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young guys
don't make no diff, even if listeners
actually fathom the words
and “circumstances” elevate consciousness
eight miles high with the Byrds

Problems will not be solved in the stratosphere,
just where they start, here on Earth
And even that's likely impossible,
given the prevailing dearth
of people able to recognize anything
beyond what their grandparents taught,
except for those few who may, on occasion,
buy into some newer idiot thought

The question is: must we persist?
All things considered, should we even exist?