№ 577.2: EXTRA! Now It Can Be Told

Obstruction of Nothing

And here, we're guessing, is what WSJ redacted from their editorial.

(with apoligies to Paul and Linda McCartney)

Email subscribers click here.

CLOUD CUCKOO-LAND, April 19

We're so sorry dearest Donald
We're so sorry Mueller caused you so much pain
We're so sorry dearest Donald
But your future still looks Stormy
And we ain't talking rain
We're so sorry but WE have only loving thinks to say
We're so sorry dearest Donald
But we really did believe you were headed for the clink
We're so sorry dearest Donald
But Bob Mueller had not a lot to say
We're sorry dearest Donald
But the Dems are on your case and you'll still be put away
I'm in Putin's pocket (pocket)
I am Putin's guy
I'm in Putin's pocket (pocket)
I am Putin's guy
Billy Barr told me
he would fix things up and I would go Scot-free
I ate a few Big Macs (my usual snacks) and put on a tie
(I always snacks on Macs it helps me to relax —  make napkin of my tie)
I'm in Putin's pocket (pocket)
I am Putin's guy
I'm in Putin's pocket (pocket)
I am Putin's guy
Golf a little lard ass, play a round (play a round)
Use golf cart keep your feet up off the ground
Golf a little, play a round
Golf a little lard ass, play a round (play a round)
Use golf cart keep your feet up off the ground
Golf a little, play a round
I'm in Putin's pocket (pocket)
I am Putin's guy
I'm in Putin's pocket (pocket)
I am Putin's guy

№ 577.1: EXTRA! WSJ — Facts Take The Back Seat

One is forced to conclude
Murdoch's Opinion Minions,
each one an prominent sage,
were so busy yesterday fudging the facts
they'd no time to read the front page.

№ 577: Picturing The Deity

HERE AND BEYOND, April 18

When I think of God, I see David Attenborough.
(I'm white.)
If you're Black you may see James Earl Jones.
Or, perhaps, Nelson Mandela.
(But nobody from Game Of Thrones.)

If they know what's good for 'em,
Russians see Putin.
North Koreans, their Trinity Kims.
If they wish to thrive the Chinese see Xi,
although they may not exactly love him.
All the world's people see their leaders as gods.
This could not be. What are the odds?

American Christians see Trump as their Savior,
ignoring his chronic Satanic behavior.
While this point I've no wish belabor,
did not some ONE say, “Love me and thy neighbor?”
Greedy-for-power “BELIEVERS”
speedily into Trump's bed leapt,
knowing full-well there is no commandment,
if he's even heard of it, he's ever kept.

When confronted, they offer “So what's?”
and ignore Jeremiah in re leopard's spots.

№ 576.2: EXTRETERA, EXTRETERA And Go Forth Lying

THE SWAMP, April 18

AND FURTHERMORE
NO JUSTICE OBSTRUCTION
TOO BUSY HERE
WITH STANDARD CORRUPTION
LIKE WHEN A HOOKER SAYS
"THANK YOU SO MUCH"
WHEN I DESPOIL HER
WITH MY TRUMPISH TOUCH
(IT'S CHEAPER THAN MIDAS
AND BY MY BEDSIDE)
EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE
CAN BE BOUGHT AND SOLD
WHEN YOU ARE PLATED
IN FIVE CARET GOLD
(OR EVEN GOLD VARNISH
IF YOU HIDE THE TARNISH)

HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR SESSION'S RECUSAL
THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN MY BUSINESS AS USUAL

[updated April 18, 2019 4:38 p.m. EDT]
[updated April 18, 2019 3:11 p.m. EDT]

№ 576.1: EXTRETERA! The Trumpire Strikes Back

THE SWAMP, April 18

NO COLLUSION.
SO ENDS CONFUSION.
JUST DEM DELUSION.

I KNOW NO ROOSSIAN.

MYTH EXTINGUISHED.

I BARELY NO ENGLISH.

№ 576: Grammar, Britannia

Linguists found the world’s “weirdest” languages—and English is one of them

THE ENGLISH SPEAKING WORLD, April 17

Now wait just a damn minute. That is absurd.

English, we know, is God's own true word.

You've heard of THE BIBLE? The real one? King James?

Perhaps you have noticed most of the names

are in ENGLISH! Excepting a fewish

which I am guessing are probably Jewish.

Okay it's translation, but do you dare doubt

God was just waiting for English to sprout

out of old Norse. With a smidgen of French.

(Both of which gibberish give off a stench.)

Although it is “young”, our English tongue 

is uniquely suited when God's praise is sung.

(English angels with blaring klaxons,

every last man-jack a pure Anglo-Saxon.)

The reason for this is not hard to distinguish,
though we recently learned it, God always spoke English.

№ 575: Grow, Grow, Grow Your Bloat (an indifferent view)

Your Tuesday Briefing

The environment vs. population growth

In smaller U.S. cities and rural areas, demographic decline is a painful reality. Hungary is worried about a declining population. So is Japan. Even China.

It’s an economic truism: Growing populations drive economies.

But in this era of climate change, is it wiser to have fewer people to house, feed and provide power for?

A street in Tokyo.  Toru Hanai/Reuters

Globally, a smaller population would “make a difference, certainly,” said Joseph Chamie, a former U.N. population official. “Fewer people means fewer items consumed, and fewer resources used, so your carbon footprint would be less.”

But limiting population growth, he said, can’t solve the environmental problems caused by mass production and consumption.

And companies whose business models rely on constant growth have little incentive to change. More customers and more consumption mean more profits.

“We can try to maintain the quality of the environment,” Mr. Chamie said. “But we have to change our mind-set regarding how the economy moves.”

IN POINT OF FACT, April 16

Capitalism. 
It says it depends

on population expansion that never ends.

That people can breed without restriction

is Capitalism's most favored fiction.
I am not saying that's a pipe dream.
To me it seems more Ponzi scheme.

“There's always more land, there's always more oil,

there's always more fish, who cares if we spoil

a river or three or all seven seas

plus every ocean . .who needs all these trees?

Or any animals that we can't eat?

Except pets we think are sweet.

Or prestigious. 

Or, on occasion sexily dangerous.

“We'll manage somehow as we have until now.

Unless we don't. In which case we won't.

This is our planet we can take it for granite.

We don't need advice how to handle our gneiss.

If the gods be annoyed, they'll send asteroids

to settle their scores like with dinosaurs.

(They killed the herds. Excepting the birds.)

With so many alive, some will survive.

Unless they don't. In that case they won't.”

№ 574: (Un)well, I Declare

EARTH, April 15

If I may, may I correct Thomas J. just a tad?

“Created equal”? Equally BAD!

Was Jefferson lying or was he dense

or simply lacking Thom. Paine's “Common Sense”?

From this man working slaves on lands seized

from inhabitants dispatched by guns and disease,

“created equal” actually smacks

of what you'd expect from FOX Murdoch hacks

faking facts to score points. No less. No more.

Having said what I've said, let me hasten to add

all other scenarios are just as bad.

If oppressed and oppressor roles are reversed,

nothing much changes because we are cursed

by Freud's “life drive” to prevail and subdue.

Though you may see a diff in the victors' hue.

№ 573.1: EXTRA! The Fixer-In-Chief

Trump tweets he would ‘FIX’ and ‘REBRAND’ Boeing 737 Max (Paywall)

. . .he said that if he were in charge of the American aviation giant — as opposed to, say, the executive branch — he would “FIX the Boeing 737 MAX, add some additional great features, & REBRAND the plane with a new name.”

THE SWAMP, April 15

On June 14 I turn 73.

I would not mind

if they named it for me,

theirby ending BIGLY they're current slump

rebranding there failure the 7-3-Trump.

No need to FIX this. Really no problem.

I find just boasting is better than solving.....

....Especially today when my accountant relaxes

knowing that I will never pay taxes.

№ 573: The Question In Essence

EARTH, April 14

I have, forever, been of the opinion
that life must, in essence, suck.
If you say, at the moment, yours doesn't. . .
well, that is simply dumb luck
of the draw.
Given time, LIFE
evens the score.

Sooner or later everyone's beaten.
An unfortunate few may even be eaten
alive by creatures deriving
much needed nourishment
by hunting us
despite discouragement
from precautions we take.
To many things hungry
you look like steak.
To lions and leopards and monitor lizards
who, given the chance, devour your gizzards,
as you feel entitled to do onto other
animals missing their mothers,
animals who are not, like us, vicious,
animals, who we find delicious,
slaughtered and stewed in their own juices
for which activity we make no excuses.
We see no need to ever refrain
from claiming our place atop the food chain.
A position ordained by most of our Gods.
(Except for a few whom we think odd.)

And, yes, other animals hunt one another.
It is not pretty, though it is efficient.
If bloody.
This essential, usual cruelty,
whether you're diner or dinner,
is evolution's one sole solution.
Everyone loses. No one's a winner.
Universal urges to eat
leads living things to kill and compete
for resources in order to feed —
unthinking instinct continues the breed.

I have, forever, been of the opinion
that life must, in essence, suck.
If you say, at the moment, yours doesn't. . .
well, that is simply dumb luck
of the draw.
Given time, LIFE
evens the score.