№ 693: Rumors Of Boomers (the FOX demographic)

ONTHEBRINK (September 29)

We the people of the Murdoch FOX nation

will soon be exceedingly dead.

That could explain, however appalling,

our lack of concern for what lies ahead

for “the children” (now mid- to late-middle age)

and grandkids (who never call,

except to remind us when they have a birthday).

To them we say, “The hell with you all!”

They can simmer in their own juices

as oceans rise and the world bakes.

We will never apologize or offer excuses,

we know we never made any mistakes!

WE WERE THE BABY BOOM GENERATION!

We know we were the crown of creation.

At this late date it would be superfluous,

to think about anything other than us.

As the planet swirls swift down the drain,

we just take our meds, watch FOX and complain.

№ 672.1: EXTRA! Pox On The FOX

Trouble in paradise: Trump attacks Fox News – and Fox News hits back

Neil Cavuto becomes the latest network host to reject Trump’s criticism, saying: ‘My job is to cover you, not fawn over you’

HOODATHUNK (August 30)

What went together like bagels and lox?
Spoiler: the answer was Donnie and FOX.
The corpulent jerk and the fawning network,
disproved Aaron Sorkin's contention that lies cannot work.

But something's amiss with Trump-Murdoch bliss,
with FOX correspondents refusing to kiss
the looming ass of this sociopath.
Comme on dit en français, “It is to laugh.”

№ 661.2: EXTRA! Undesirable Number 1, Undesirable Number 2

Fox News host compares migrants entering US to Nazis

Todd Starnes of Fox Nation also called migrants a ‘rampaging horde of illegal aliens’ less than two weeks after El Paso attack

ALIENS IN FOX HOLES (August 15)

Who's undesirable alien one?

Fact check suggests Murdoch and Sons.

First to the U.K. then to the U.S.

these Aussie bastards corrupt free press

and the airwaves and go on a spree

criticizing any diversity

allowing accents beyond Australian,

which many consider horribly alien.

And, so, who is undesirable two?

If you guessed the Murdochs, well good for you.

№ 577.1: EXTRA! WSJ — Facts Take The Back Seat

One is forced to conclude
Murdoch's Opinion Minions,
each one an prominent sage,
were so busy yesterday fudging the facts
they'd no time to read the front page.

№ 574: (Un)well, I Declare

EARTH, April 15

If I may, may I correct Thomas J. just a tad?

“Created equal”? Equally BAD!

Was Jefferson lying or was he dense

or simply lacking Thom. Paine's “Common Sense”?

From this man working slaves on lands seized

from inhabitants dispatched by guns and disease,

“created equal” actually smacks

of what you'd expect from FOX Murdoch hacks

faking facts to score points. No less. No more.

Having said what I've said, let me hasten to add

all other scenarios are just as bad.

If oppressed and oppressor roles are reversed,

nothing much changes because we are cursed

by Freud's “life drive” to prevail and subdue.

Though you may see a diff in the victors' hue.

№ 555: My Budget Buy The Иumbers (by Donald J. Trump, Genius)

Trump Budget Relies on Up to $1.2 Trillion in Potentially Phantom Revenues

Up to $390 billion comes from taxes created by the Affordable Care Act, which president wants to repeal

Trump’s budget blueprint for the next decade relies on up to $1.2 trillion in revenue that might not materialize.

The budget assumes the government will collect as much as that amount between 2020 and 2029 from taxes the administration opposes or from scheduled tax increases that are likely to draw strong business opposition. The $1.2 trillion estimate comes from the Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget, an independent bipartisan nonprofit.

The numbers don’t add up.

As even I can see.

But, of course, such small details

don't mean a thing to me.

I am, you know, a bankrupt.
I corrupt democracy.

Vlad made it my feudal fief.
(Am I not beyond belief?)

I'm Donald Trump. I eat Big Macs.

I give Liberals heart attacks.

If the Dems get in my way,

“Release the Kraken,” I will say.
I'm looking for the least excuse
to turn my (WELL-ARMED) legions loose.

I can start a civil war.

This stupid job is such a bore,
Boring stuff I do not need.
(Like that crap I “need” to read
that gets me feeling apoplectic.)
Some folks tell me I'm dyslexic.
But that's FAKE NEWS I have to say.
Why won't the Times see things my way?
Might stop them failing then because
that's what Rupert's Journal does.

№ 522.1: EXTRA! A Meeting Of The Mines (an offer that can't be refused?)

Trump Discusses Claims of ‘Fake News,’ and Their Impact, With New York Times Publisher (Paywall)

In an unusual arrangement, the publisher of The Times, A. G. Sulzberger, joined two of the paper’s White House correspondents in conducting Thursday’s interview, and he took the lead in questioning the president about his attacks on the press.

“I came from Jamaica, Queens, Jamaica Estates, and I became president of the United States,” Mr. Trump said. “I’m sort of entitled to a great story — just one — from my newspaper.”

Hear me out, Sulzberder.

It isn't too late

to cook up a story

saying I'm great.

If you do that

(and soft pedal my crimes)

I will stop saying 

@FailingTimes

Then you can ditch

Arab-Mexican Slim

and I will tell Rupert

you'll sell it to him.

№ 496: A Matter Of Decree — The President Addresses The Nation (tomorrow the world?)

Due to the flaws

in all of our “laws”

the best people agree

I should rule by decree.

Since I, alone,

know what is best,

I told Congress,

“Give it a rest.”

Steve Miller tells me

I have the power.

Therefore, commencing

at this precise hour

every American —

everywhere, everyday —

must forever do

whatever I say.

I've shut down the courts.

You cannot appeal.

If you need to know more

read The Art Of The Deal.

The Federal Reserve

I've ordered to close.

I will not tolerate

being opposed.

Media outlets?

Sealed with large locks.

Except Murdoch papers

and stations of FOX.

To the police:

fire at will.

Specifically:

shoot solely to kill.

Henceforth, so my glory
is rightly displayed:
each year on my birthday,
a BIGLY a parade
in every city, 
village and town.
And if people insist
I'll accept the crown.

All appearing before me

will have to kneel.

Forehead on floor

I think ideal.

Mike Pence resigned

so he could. . .whatever. . .

He is not needed,

we gods live forever.

№ 446.1: EXTRA! Exit The Fox

FOX Business News: FOX Business Network cancels participation in Saudi Conference

This “Desert Davos” is looking deserted.

But to be “balanced and fair”:

it's not that we think killing's perverted. . .

we just “don't want to go there”.

It's such a snooze — the absence of booze.

It gives us pause — the absence of whores.
Rupert's convinced it's wrong to wince
at Jared's and Donald's STILL favorite prince.

Although we've enjoyed being close to throne,

we really don't want to be there alone

with His Royal Highness and staff in a room

with guards at the doors anytime soon.

We would prefer to stay home in bed

than have to consider losing our head.

No. 315: Foreign Policy (subject to change without prior notice or, honestly, thought)

NYT: Trump Declines to Add Sanctions Against Russians, Contradicting Haley (Paywall)

WASHINGTON — President Trump rejected, for now at least, a fresh round of sanctions set to be imposed against Russia on Monday, a course change that underscored the schism between the president and his national security team.

Putin's no crook from what I can tell.

And anyway I want a Moscow hotel.

So take your damned sanctions and you go to hell.

Vlad is a lad (as I've said all along)

who knows how to govern, how to be strong.

The best we can do is just play along.

Okay, so maybe he seizes Crimea.

But what does that matter to you and to me, huh?

None of our business from what I see. Yuh.

And Eastern Ukraine? Don't be a pain.

Who cares if they lose so long as I gain?

Let the damned place go down the drain.

I am everyday wearier of this business with Syria.

Intel briefings drag on, my eyes get blearier

and I order snacks from the cafeteria.

High tariffs for China? What could be finer?

And it plays well in South Carolina.

(Driver, pull over, let's stop at that diner.)

Rocketman Kim's ridiculous trim

will be standing on end when I'm finished with him

and that will be just a prelim

to what I do on the Mexican border

to teach those Ponchos to behave as they orta.

I would not let one of THEM marry my daughter!

And here's a news flash that'll knock off your socks:

I'm outsourcing policy to my Friends at FOX.

So, you got a problem? Go see the Murdochs!

No. 247.2: EXTRA! How Do You Solve A Problem Like The Donald?

Rupert Murdoch

thinks he's lazy,

stupider than crazy,

with a hazy

understanding

of all things.

Without a soul

and uncontrolled,

he's unable to withhold

firing pointless arrows

with his slings.

The GOP is stressing

Paul Ryan's near confessing

he wishes he'd become a priest,

save for fearing God

would think his thinking odd: 

Ayn Randy, not Christian in the least.

Hamlet made the point

“The time is out of joint”,

seconded today by Mitch McConnell.

The party of Abe Lincoln

has given up on thinkin'.

There's stupid,

then there's crazy,

then there's Donald.

[Updated 1/15/2017, 4:18 pm]

No. 241: Donald (or What You Will)

Guardian: 'Idiot': Murdoch mocked Trump after phone call on immigration, book claims

“Idiot”

fat butt

auto pilot

mixed nuts

lacks guts

loves sluts

budget cuts

dumb klutz

Pizza Huts

wadda putz

brain schmutz

cuckoo coconuts

(pee nut?)

trap unshut

Russia's robot

Il Duce strut

jaw juts
“hair” cut

gut glut

missed putts

buck's rut

chases scut

abut rebut

uppercuts

ethics shortcuts
undercuts

off the wall nuts

donor dough nuts

No. CXXX.ii: EXTRA! Sent From The Tent (or Bannon Go Yurt)

NYT: Bannon in Limbo as Trump Faces Growing Calls for the Strategist’s Ouster (Paywall)

Rupert Murdoch has repeatedly urged President Trump to fire him.  

Time to ban Bannon?

His date's expired.

So bad is he,

Murdoch wants him fired!

Now that it's printed,

it can not happen.

And, besides,

Donald likes Bannon.

He one hundred percent agrees with his views

and if he fires him this won't be "fake news"!

No. XC: After The Pox

In the wake of Ailes, O'Reilly and Kelly*,

at FOX the merde docks got very smelly.

In order to their fortunes repair,

they decommissioned both "balanced" and "fair",
replacing them with "Most watched, most trusted"

instead of the more accurate "Touched crotch, got busted".

——————————

* List of women who accused Roger Ailes and Bill O'Reilly of sexual misconduct.