Showing posts with label NAFTA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NAFTA. Show all posts

Thursday, November 2, 2017

No. 196: The Neanderthal Wall

...what we know about basic ecology principles and the gradual human migration into [Eurasia] is sufficient to explain why the Neanderthals disappeared.


Another reason for building our wall!
We don't want wind up Neanderthal:
those cousins who were first to inhabit
what we regard as our home on the planet,
who, stupidly, leaving the front door wide open
allowed our long leg-ged forebears to lope in
acting like they were some kinda guests —
don't hafta tell ya, you know the rest:
a few thousand years after we faced 'em,
they were “all gone”. We had erased 'em.

The American Experiment
on a New Continent:
WE WERE HERE FIRST!
Well...maybe second,
but that doesn't matter
the way that we reckon.
Mestizos from Mexico
just hafta go.
Though, genetically,
they're closer than we
to those we “dissuaded”
when we invaded...
a fact inconvenient
but let us be lenient
at the end of the day
and see things our way.
We'll cut some slack,
unless you are Black
and deal with NAFTA
hereafter.

Friday, October 13, 2017

No. CLXXIX: Trump's Afta NAFTA (NO Canada!)

Trump ordered his Depart-
ment of Interior
to take from Canada
all Lake Superior.
(For obvious reasons his favorite Great Lake
which, therefore, he's entitled to take
for his and America's sake),
“Tack it on to Wisconsin,”
(they voted for him), 
not Minnesota!” 
(where he didn't win),
saying, “If Trudeau 
wants to take issue,
say, 'Oh, Boo-hoo',
and hand him a tissue.
I 'll be back later 
to take Lake Huron.
So, Rex Tillerson, 
now who's the moron?
Ontario, Erie? 
Oh, what the hell?
While I'm here, 
I'll take them as well.
Part, now I think of it, 
of my grand design.
I mean, does Canada 
need all this shore line?
And, while I'm at it,
oh what the heck,
I'll take it all,
except Quebec,
which I'll extinguish
and make 'em speak English...
teach 'em t' tawk,
call it Noo Nort' Noo Yawk!”

Monday, September 4, 2017

No. CXLVI: How I, Donald J. Trump, Do Bidness (labored thoughts)

Up 'til now if things turned fraught
on question of who sold who bought
I'd retort I will see you in court
and if anyone called my bluff
I would reply I will not take this guff
and promptly haughtily leave in a huff

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury
again I threaten fire and fury
watch it "dear Kim" or you'll be sorry*
better take heed better believe me
you push me I'll do a new bankruptcy
and break your pal Xi then where will you be

I will do whatever I hafta
end trade with the South get outta NAFTA
court all sort of nat'ral disasta
Did not I end Obamacare
Am not I graceful as Fred Astaire
Do not I have a head full of hair

I am making America grate
(spelling never was a strong trait)
if only I could re-rescue Kuwait
Maybe my program does not make sense
I called for a wall and can't build a fence
even I'm looking forward to President Pence

©McClatchyDC.com

I can't really deal with dead traitors on horses
what I have a feel for is building golf courses
(and marriage and dating between divorces)
I told you all I was no politician
let this then serve as an act of contrition
relax everyone unassume the position


When I began this I had no design
and not to make the point all too fine
I've had it enough I quit I resign
————————
*Canadian pronunciation "sorrie"