Showing posts with label Constitution. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Constitution. Show all posts

Monday, August 10, 2020

918: Off The People, Buy The People, Fore! The People

BEAT THE CLOCK (August 9)

Donnie “honestly” thinks he’s the good guy.

Which, while incredibly SAD[!],

serves to bolster the foregone conclusion

that he’s irredeemably mad.


This isn't simply acute Dunning-Kruger.

(Which, nonetheless, still applies.)

It's Donnie's total lack of awareness

from which all of the problems arise.


“A republic,” said Franklin, “if you can keep it.”

back in the day way back when

the Founding Fathers believed that we would.

Frankly, my dears, I doubt that we can.


Monday, July 20, 2020

903.1: EXTRA! We Interrupt Our Country . . .

  • John Yoo wrote memo used to justify waterboarding
  • Trump keen to use executive orders and circumvent Congress
John Yoo told Axios he has been talking to White House officials about his view that a recent supreme court ruling on immigration would allow Trump to issue executive orders that flout federal law.
In a Fox News Sunday interview, Trump declared he would try to use that interpretation to try to force through decrees on healthcare, immigration and “various other plans” over the coming month.

A REPUBLIC IF YOU CAN KEEP IT; and good luck with that (July 20) —
Sit back. Relax. The sky is NOT falling.
Turns out it was never there.
Like the whatchamacallit, the Constitution?
(Or, for all that, “gods” who “hear” prayers.)
All there has ever been is THE STRONG MAN, 
the glorious leader who,
can do whatever, whenever he likes
per tortuous logic spewed by John Yoo.
The valiant CAPTAIN commanding the crew
of lesser beings who’ll do as they’re told,
who’ll follow orders,
their brains all moldy, shot full of holes.
From watching FOX and listening to Limbaugh
their souls have become fascistic scrimshaw.
Take “Congress” and “Courts” to the town dump.
Bow down before the Mighty God Trump.

Thursday, April 23, 2020

№ 841: Past, Present, And Future Tense

HERE AND NOW (April 22) 
THERE'S A NON-ZERO CHANCE our future is past;
that Donnie the First is Donnie the Last;
that he ends voting (and the Constitution);
that he restores football (and also pollution);
that bills of attainder will be back in fashion 
(if they don’t interfere with the passion to cash in
of his flocking parvenu oligarchs,
his Gospel-trumpeting moral loan sharks,
or his Ayn Randy Darwinian winners” 
atheists unwelcome at Wednesday church dinners);
that the first shall be first; that the last remain last
(as they have been forever  present and past);
that the U.S. experiment will come to be seen
as a flop; that we regress toward the mean.

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

№ 835: I Am I, Donald Trump




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(with apologies to Mitch Leigh and Joe Darion)

NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE (April 14) 
HEAR ME now thou purveyors of science and “fact”,
C-N-N, MS-NBC.
Your “facts” are no match for my Twitter attack.
This story is all about me!
I am I, Donald Trump! Heh!
My body is lumpy.
My ego is fragile. And so
the Supremes prostitution
of the Constitution
assures me that I run the show.
That I alone run the show.
To hell in handbasket we go.

Friday, November 29, 2019

№ 737: Keep On Bearin' Arms Deep In Barren Minds

NRA (November 28)

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(with apologies to John Denver)

Shotguns on my shoulder make me happy
handguns in my waistband make me cry
boxes full of bullets look so lovely
when I carry I always feel high

Just because the U.S. Constitution
was written when guns only fired one shot
and it took twenty seconds to reload 'em
our Supreme Court has ruled, “So what?”

Shotguns on my shoulder make me happy
handguns in my waistband make me cry
boxes full of bullets look so lovely
when I carry I always feel high

We will never let some sissy Lib'rels
infringe upon our keep and bearin' right
though we are uncertain what infringe is
like Minutemen we're ready for a fight

Shotguns on my shoulder make me happy
handguns in my waistband make me cry
boxes full of bullets look so lovely
when I carry I always feel high
when I carry I allatime feel high
when I carry I feel I'm a guy

Wednesday, October 2, 2019

№ 695.1: EXTRA! Donnie In La-La Land

LALALAND (October 2)

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(with apologies to the Bee Gees)

Paper mache and border patrol
whatever I tweet in the night
Con-sti-tu-tion Rev-o-lu-tion
makes you all die of fright
however it looks laws on the books, they don't mean a thing
haven't got a crown upon my head, yet I am a king

Be real scared
I have a solution
for the Constitution
Paper mache

Paper mache and border patrol
whatever I tweet in the night
Con-sti-tu-tion Rev-o-lu-tion
makes you all die of fright
however it looks laws on the books, they don't mean a thing
haven't got a crown upon my head, yet I am a king

Be real scared
I have a solution
for the Constitution
Paper mache

All of a sudden it happens
when I do what I promised to
your government is through
Like paper mache
All of a sudden it happens, oh,
President-for-life
I treat you like a wife
Like paper mache, paper mache
Like paper mache, paper mache
Like paper mache

Paper mache and border patrol
whatever I tweet in the night
Con-sti-tu-tion Rev-o-lu-tion
makes you all die of fright
however it looks laws on the books, they don't mean a thing
La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la.
Kimmy's got the bomb if the bomb goes boom
we're all of us everywhere
Kimmy's got the bomb when the bomb goes boom
we're all of us everywhere
Kimmy's got the bomb when the bomb goes boom
we're all of us everywhere
Kimmy's got the bomb when the bomb goes boom
we're all of us everywhere
Kimmy's got the bomb when the bomb goes boom
we're all of us everywhere
Kimmy's got the bomb when the bomb goes boom
we're all of us everywhere
Kimmy's got the bomb when the bomb goes boom
we're all of us everywhere
La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la.
La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la.

Saturday, July 13, 2019

№ 637.2: EXTRA! So It's Only A Crime If It's Printed?

Jeffrey Epstein: how US media – with one star exception – whitewashed the story

The Miami Herald exposed a vast criminal network and a government cover-up – but why the silence elsewhere?

HERE AND NOW (July 13)

Madison, sadly, could not foresee
what the country would turn out to be.
(Or did he?)
James makes no mention of prostitution
anywhere that I read in his Constitution.
(Why would he?)
He and his southern slave-owning cohorts
would never trifle with common town whores.
And to respect puritan New England bores,
they kept their activities entirely indoors,
observing completely, discreetly and privately
all of the trappings of upright society.
There was no prostitution. There was no fee.
They were “maintaining” their property.
Again, end of story, the moral of which
the only crime is not being rich.

Politicians, the press and billionaires:
one goes for the other, then they get theirs.
They, therefore, prefer keeping hands off
and we get this classic Mexican standoff.








By Martin SoulStealer - Flickr: Mexican Standoff, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=27011723

Saturday, May 25, 2019

№ 602.1: EXTRA! Separation Of Powers Ă€ La Trump

Trump Invokes Emergency Arms Sales Authority to Counter Iran



Decision to speed delivery of 22 deals worth $8 billion; opponents decry administration’s move 

WASHINGTON—The Trump administration on Friday invoked a rarely used provision of American arms control laws to sidestep Congress and authorize billions of dollars in weapons sales to Middle East allies, angering U.S. lawmakers who characterized the decision as an abuse of power.

MYWAY, May 25

This “rule of law” shit. . .
What the fuck's that about?
The way to do things
is personal clout.
My dad and Roy Cohn
both taught me and thought
there are no rules
that cannot be bought
out or ignored
or gotten round
if you bluster enough
a way can be found.

Eagles are regal.
Eagles are TRUMPs.
Rules are for seagulls
who eat trash at dumps.
Loser winged rats.
bird democrats.
(With a small “d”,
fuck democracy.)

Thursday, November 1, 2018

№ 456: Consti-what-shun?

WSJ: Trump Wants to Curb Birthright Citizenship, Escalating Immigration Debate


Legal scholars dismiss the idea, saying a president lacks standing to do it on his own

In an interview published Tuesday morning, just ahead of next week’s midterms, Mr. Trump said he planned an executive order to end what is known as birthright citizenship, bypassing Congress and waving off the belief of many legal scholars that such a move would require a change to the Constitution.

“It was always told to me that you needed a constitutional amendment. Guess what? You don’t,” he told Axios. “It’s in the process. It’ll happen, with an executive order.”

As president I can do what I like.
Because if I can't. . .where's the fun?
I can, if I want, have someone shot,
then charge them for use of the gun.

I learned all this stuff from my boy, Stephen Miller.
(He reminds me so much of Roy Cohn.)
Although he resembles a serial killer,
he's more like a Mafia don.

Steve, when he's near, fills folks with fear.
Like my boy Roy, his smile is a sneer.
Two of a kind. My kinda guys.
Don'cha just love their really dead eyes?

Two of a kind: Roy Cohn and Stephen Miller











NYT: Trump Attacks Ryan, Who Scoffed at Birthright Citizenship Plan (Paywall)


In a Twitter post on Wednesday, Mr. Trump presented his own legal argument: “It is not covered by the 14th Amendment because of the words ‘subject to the jurisdiction thereof,’ ” . . .

With judges who say corporations are people,
then rule people need homes full of guns,
there’s no reason to think undoing amendments
won’t be considered great fun.

Our GOP's quick on the draw to hold up uphold the law.
(Sweetest damned thing that you ever saw!)
We'll fix what is wrong. People will cheer.
And Brett Kavanaugh can have him a beer.

Friday, September 28, 2018

№ 432: The Parties Come Together (estranged bedfellows)

Remember when Republicans said,
“Sex, except in the marital bed,
was grievously sinful and therefore forbidden
and that such sin should never be hidden.?

Remember when only Democrats thought
love and/or sex should be openly sought
provided so doing caused no pollution
and did not screw with the Constitution?

Monday, September 3, 2018

№ 413.1: EXTRA! Originalism (more)

An originalist
can discern the gist
of just what James Madison thought
and proclaim the solution
with attribution
to a word or two
in the Constitution.

End of the day, all problems solved.
Constitution is fixed. It has not evolved.

Friday, August 24, 2018

№ 407: The Second Coming 7 - 2 SCOTUS Majority

Stare decisis
just comes from Jesus.
Therefor, we can ignore
Roe v. Wade and other decisions
Scripture we read to abhor.

To paraphrase Justice Scalia:
“Sirs, the words are the words.
Albeit he, like other judges,
was prone to fudges
bordering on the absurd.

And although
the record will show
Sotomayer and Kagan
still will be there. . .
two heathen witches
against Christian gentlemen. . . .
Well. . .they haven't prayer.
And they’ll be gone,
God's men ascendant,
when we repeal the Nineteenth Amendment.

Friday, June 22, 2018

№ 362: Get Me Rewrite?

“A lady asked Dr. Franklin, ‘Well Doctor, what have we got a republic or a monarchy?
A republic replied the Doctor. If you can keep it.” 
— Dr. James McHenry, Maryland delegate to the Constitutional Convention

. . .national constitutions have lasted an average of only seventeen years since 1789.

Seventeen years? Goodness gracious, oh my!
Is that time enough for wet ink to dry?
As to the study of Constitutional Law,
you have to wonder whatever for.

Unrevealed “laws” can prove unreliable.
Especially when compared to the Bible,
the Quran, the Vedas and all Dialectics*
which are fixed, irrefutable and less eclectic
views of the place of the human race in Creation, 
a subject still subject to some disputation.
After several millenia of intensive study
our understanding sadly's no better than muddy.
__________________
*Dialectics are, in theory, discussions as opposed to revealed TRUTHS. But try telling that to a dialectician.

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Monday, June 11, 2018

№ 353.1: EXTRA! So That's What's Become Of The Old Constitution

POLITICO: Meet the guys who tape Trump's papers back together
The president's 'unofficial filing system' involves tearing up documents into pieces, even when they're supposed to be preserved.

...White House aides realized early on that they were unable to stop Trump from ripping up paper after he was done with it and throwing it in the trash or on the floor. . .

Is it time to move on,
throw the towel in
and go with Trump's take on
Putin's watered-down Stalin?

Could it be, in the end,
that's how it works?
Divine Right Of Kings evolves
into Divine Right Of Jerks?

Thursday, January 11, 2018

No. 246: Poor, Poor Ivanka

(with apologies to Nöel Coward)

[Email subscribers: visit blog to hear tune and original lyrics.]



Poor, poor Ivanka.
You thought you'd conquer
whatever you like.
Opposing Bannon
you put your plan in
and got him spiked.
Your crazy Daddy's got the whole world wond'ring
what's bound to come of all his oafish blund'ring.
You may be smart but
your Dad's a Looney Tune.

The world's attention
and apprehension
steadily grows.
Schlurring his speeches.
(Pooping his breeches?)
And so it goes.
Can it be long before Pence pulls the trigger*,
replaces the buffoon?
Poor, poor Ivanka,
thish cannot end too soon.
————————————————

Friday, December 29, 2017

No. 237: Future Perfect — New Year's 2028, a verse for our President's term #3

Back in the old days
(remember them?),
when we were governed by laws
not by men.
Before nationwide systemic legal pollution
there was this thing. . .the Constitution?
You can still see it in its glass case.
(Don't get too close, it sprays Mace in your face.)

The old Constitution had a few failings
guns were not mentioned until an amendment
and it didn't say nearly enough about God.
Which was odd.
Everyone knows we're a Christian nation.
Always have been. 
Since the Creation.

A renewed Constitution was our solution
with businesses enshrined as divinely inspired
the idea of unions completely retired
and, as in our Bible, slavery required
to prevent lower orders attempting to cheat,
they have to work if they want to eat.
If shelter and food are what you crave,
if you don't have a job, we make you a slave
or provide you with an early grave.

And keeping with founding fathers' intent,
voting's only for owners, not those who rent.
Owners, what's more, of considerable wealth
who of the population make up (maybe) a twelfth.
Keeping it real with the founders again
these voters are, naturally, only white Christian men.
And since we can predict how good people vote,
we don't need elections and what those promote:
rule by the ignorant, the unemployed,
unhappy minorities, the neurotic annoyed,
who, sad to say, still find a way
despite voting restrictions to ruin our day.
Elections are bound to cause nothing but strife
therefore we declared Mike Pence Leader for Life.

The Atlantic: God’s Plan for Mike Pence
Will the vice president—and the religious right—be rewarded for their embrace of Donald Trump?

Friday, August 25, 2017

No. CXXXIX: Today's Crystal Balling Appalling And Galling

not content with being third-rate
Trump's out to create a great big failed state
his how-to-repair-what-ails-ya
is like Maduro's in Venezuela
disband legislature co-opt the courts
(while he golfs at his resorts)
to renew the country remake it pristine
he'd make like Duterte in The Philippines
making America double-plus greater
shooting first he'd ask questions later
or never
whatever

like Best-Friend-4ever Tsar Vlad
those who oppose make him "so sad"
but unlike that cagey B-minus guy
Trump can't rely on his FBI
to fix things by bumping folks off
("my kingdom for his Kalashnikov")
if Vlad gifts Trump a gun
it's open season on everyone
Trump bold
with "Kalash"* gold
lots of luck
WTF
duck

one alternate fate
"evangelical caliphate"
setting Constitution aside
the Bible our infallible guide
kept as a remnant
the second amendment
or if Xi Jinping fails to prevail
upon North Korea to lower their sail
then avoiding a nuclear boom 
depends on sanity of Kim Jong Un
which means doom
I assume

you think things are bleak
just wait'll next week
debt ceiling/budget
fudge it
_____________
*Russian slang for Kalashnikov type rifles — Wikipedia

Monday, July 31, 2017

No. CXX: The GOP Theory Of No Government

The Second Amendment, since you inquire,
is the one we Republicans most admire.
The one, furthermore, in our estimate,
the whole Constitution must emulate.

(And, no, this is not about only gun freedom.
See our cards on the table? Weep as you read 'em!)

Since ALL legislation sticks in our craw,
under us, the Congress shall make NO law.

(Except, of course, you know...that is...
to dictate precisely how everyone lives.)

Laws passed (in error) when Dems get elected,
we will see expeditiously vivisected.
We believe in freedom, the RIGHT to choose.
We are the FAR RIGHT. When we win, you lose.