№ 887.1: EXTRA! A Believer Unmasked

PERSPECTIVE (June 26) —

I see no reason to put on a mask.

Republican Christian, you see.

I believe Jesus and Donnie

are able to forever protect me.

So, even though the far left conspires 

with all of our enemies — one-celled and many —

envious of our freedom and plenty,

I will never consider donning a mask.

(Though maybe I would if Donnie should ask.)

Without Donnie and Jesus and QAnon

we'd be exposed. We'd be overrun.

THEY'd take our guns.

THEY'd make us sick.

But they can't do that.

Donnie's too slick.

Donnie is so exceedingly clever,

it'd be GREAT if he ruled forever.

Or, at the least, until I die

and go to Jesus up in the sky.

After which, though I still wish him well,

let Donnie return to his father in hell.

№ 880: Tulsa Or Bust

Trump’s Rally Could Be a ‘Perfect Storm’ for the Virus, Tulsa Officials Fear (Paywall)

President Trump will hold his first campaign rally in months on Saturday in Oklahoma, where infections are rising, and officials there are pleading with him to cancel or hold it outdoors.

DEAD END, OK (June 16) —

No masks for us.

We will not discuss it.

If God calls us home,

we will not be alone.

As a matter of fact,
our bags are packed,
we're rarin' to go,

so on with the show.

We will not heed official condemnings.

We follow Donnie. You DO KNOW we're lemmings?
Only in heaven will we be content.
A rather incredible end for a rodent.

№ 855: Afterlife — The Republican Christian Perspective

ANTICIPATION (May 12) —
The poor will always be with us.
We just have to shorten their stay.
They take up space. They spoil the view.
And, in general, they get in the way.

The poor will always be with us.
That's why we have to have wars.
The poor make excellent fodder for cannons.
In peacetime they sweep our floors.

The poor will always be with us.
It is as Jesus decreed.
But in his generous beneficence,
the Lord God gave us more than we need.

The poor will always be with us.
Until God sends them to hell.
After which we'll look down from heaven,
smile and laugh while they writhe and yell.

At home with Our Lord, free of the poor,
how will we maintain delusions of grandeur?

№ 844: Doubting Thomas Road

OUT TO LYNCHBURG, VA (April 27) —
With all the talk of cures in the air,
why aren't there any mentioning prayer?
So many say they can pray gay away,
why not add, “God, chase corona away”? 

Why isn't Falwell (or other ministers)
pleading for aid from the Divine Listener?
This could, I suppose, be totally logical,
presuming his thinking on things theological:
is, “Heaven’s my home. I am not of the world.
I get to tell God where He's failed
And then inform Him how things would done,
with Falwells in charge, Father & Son.”
(Jerry-mandered Falwell requirements
pushing the Old Guy into retirement.)

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№ 727: Devil Nonnews For The Defense

HEAVEN-ON-EARTH-ON-DON (November 14)

Donnie's as innocent as was O. J.
when he was acquitted for murder.
Charges trumped-up by corruptible cops. . .
what Dems do to Donnie is even absurder.

We hold that Donnie is totally innocent  
and we do not care that he isn't.
If he and O. J. played golf with Rudolph,
think how the Dems would run off their mouth.

Building God's kingdom requires hypocrisy.
Neither He, we nor Donnie care for democracy.
Unlike Obama, Donnie is not ethereal.
He's cataclysmic, bold and imperial.

When we're in heaven we will have fun.
All of God's chillun in heaven got guns.
Only an atheist Socialist tool
would oppose letting God's chosen rule.

No. CXLV: The "Saved" (afterlife forecast)

we found heaven boring
until see-through flooring
paved the way for us saved to dwell
on the well-deserved fate
of those we hate
who we watch all day roasting in hell