Showing posts with label Roseanne Barr. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Roseanne Barr. Show all posts

Saturday, May 4, 2019

№ 587.1: EXTRA! A Rosy Scenario With A Comment From Nicolás Maduro (a shoe on another foot?)

CARACAS, May 4

Trump, we know, belongs behind Barrs —
both Roseanne and Billy.
But picturing him behind some other kind
is optimistic. And silly.

Unless the solution's a revolution
and Maduro says Bernie Sanders
is U.S. leader and then somehow co-opts
Army, Navy and Air Force commanders.
(And, by some means, the U.S. Marines,
who must be co-opted since they run Trump's copter.)

“If a coup's good for me
it's good for you, too.
I'd enjoy seeing you 
in the hullabaloo 
that, thanks to you
we have in Venezuela,  
if you think overthrow's
good for what ails ya.
I, unlike you, received a majority.
Though it was fake, it gives me authority.”

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

№ 490: Future News — My Faire Donald Indicted

(with apologies to Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Lowe)

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I got indicted just this mornin',
although there really was no crime.
Just some confusion concerning collusion.
Rudy tells me it'll all be fine.
I saw it all on FOX this mornin'.
They said I'm lookin' at hard time.
Mueller's a hard on.
I beg my pardon.
Not to worry it's gonna be just fine.
Melanie, go fetch me
my Diet Coke.
They can't upset me,
whole thing is a joke.
Tho' I got indicted just this mornin'.
They know I'm guilty real big time,
but they can't convict me
or even restrict me.
I swear on my life,
like I cheat on my wife,
the whole damn thing is sure to turn out fine.

I got indicted just this mornin',
although there really was no crime.
Did Junior back flip? Did Eric jump ship?
Makes no diff, it'll still be fine.
Been watching FOX & Friends all mornin'
Not been a really happy time.
And tho' I'm stable,
I cut the cable.
Maybe there'll only be a fine?
Will all my lyin'
now bring me down?
Will they for screwin'
run me outta town?
I got indicted just this mornin',
although there really was no crime.
Take pity on me.
Don't Roseanne Barr me.
Please say everything. . .
I could be you king. . .
Please, please tell me that I'll be fine.

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