№ 679: More Late Night Deep Thoughts From His Giant Bran Flake

TRUMPCITY, Greenland (September 9)

Both my boy, Roy*, and my dad, Fred**,

taught me to get things by stealing.

Of course, with women Roy was no help,

but I have great instincts for feeling 
my way. (And afterwards pay 

off the transient bitches.

I married a few. Three? Or was it two?

I was TOO BIG for their britches. 😜😜😜😜)

At everything else I'm barely third rate,

except (I think) sex. And REAL ESTATE.

Screwing the seller makes me smile and

that's why I gotta buy Greenland. (The island?)

With climate change, I smell BIG profits there.
I got a swell title: TRUMP Greenland Time-share.

It's in U.S. SECURITY interest. (Of course!)

I'll make it a great TRUMP RESORTS golf course.

——————————
*Roy Cohn, Trump mentor and mob lawyer, died of AIDS.
**Fred Trump, father of Donald, suffered from Alzheimer's.

№ 671.1: EXTRA! Want Ad

NEVERLAND  (August 29)

WANTED TO BUY
Would-be dictator seeks to buy island
something suitably large
big enough for an oversize ego
where I'd be completely in charge
must not have states, legislatures or courts
though I would not mind a few golf resorts
Will ignore law and codicil strictures
P.S. can't read so send lotsa pictures

Reply Box #1 (the best)
When You're Rich Enough Magazine

№ 667: Theme Form Commodus*

COLONIA TRUMPONIANA (August 22)

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(with apologies to Ernest Gold and Pat Boone)

Greenland is mine God gave Greenland to me
Like me he sees Greenland ice free
so when the glaciers melt I can dig out the belt
of minerals that China will envy

So understand Greenland belongs to me
I own Greenland is how it has to be
For I am just the man to cause the tides to rise
as God knows I am never wrong

So understand Greenland belongs to me
I own Greenland is how it has to be
For I am just the man to cause a mountain slide
as God knows I am never wrong
I'll make Greenland my own
I wanna buy I'll buy to make Greenland my own
Though Greenlanders cry Greenland is mine
————————
*Encyclopædia Britannica: Commodus

№ 666: Making Sausage

Danish PM ‘surprised and disappointed’ over cancelled Trump visit

US president faces criticism for calling off Denmark trip after he is told Greenland not for sale

DONNIEWANTLAND (August 21)

(with apologies to Victor Herbert and Glen MacDonough)

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Denmark loan shark
both you'll note rhyme with Deutsche Mark
which next to the dollar
was my favorite currency

until Euro
which rhymes with Politburo
arose to eclipse it
and annoy the hell out of me

If you are an alpha male
as marvelous as I
you can demand a Greenland sale 
or know the reason why 
I want it so I could cry

Denmark mean land
refuses to sell me Greenland
and so I will not visit them
which I hope annoys their Queen