Showing posts with label Fox News. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fox News. Show all posts

Monday, May 18, 2020

№ 858: Corona Conspiracy — the plane truth?

Comac C919 — Wikipedia
The Comac C919 is a narrow-body twinjet airliner developed by Chinese aerospace manufacturer Comac....Its first commercial deliveries are expected in 2021...It is intended to compete primarily with the Boeing 737 MAX and Airbus A320neo.

CONSPIRACY CENTRAL  (May 17) —
A FOX NEWS EXCLUSIVE!

C919 — Wikipedia. Nose cone virus — Harvard Health.
Co-VID? Co-MAC?
Gotta be one and the same!
Here @FOX we see plots, a lot!
This is NOT a conspiracy “theory”.
Clearly, Obama's DEEP STATE is to blame
for this China campaign to sell planes.
Increase Boeing's crashes, Airbus's collapse —
these wily Chinamen, these slanty-eyed chaps!
To dominate plane sales all ’round the world.
(To make men wear pigtails so we look like girls!)
We can't be too careful, we can never relax.
WHAT IF . . . they plant veggies in Donnie's snacks!
His meat intake decreased, his giant brain boggles.
He tries to walk, he waddles and wobbles.
Babbling garbled tweets through the night,
he says stupid stuff . . . oh, wait. That's right . . .
That's WHO HE IS. That's WHAT HE DOES.
That's why WE LOVE HIM. It is because
his discordant discourse makes us feel GREAT.
And when we feel great, we feel free to hate.
Anyone. Anywhere. Any time. THAT'S the plan.
To reclaim what it is to be an AMERICAN.
Free to believe whatever we choose.
Even la merde “dox” of FOX NEWS

Thursday, April 30, 2020

№ 846: Twump Tweets — Wate Nite Smacks, Elmer Fudding While Wome Burns

Trump v Fox News: why the president is furious at the conservative network
The president attacked Fox News and accused it of being ‘fed Democratic talking points’ – possibly over to a string of anti-Trump ads due to run on the network
Trump did not give a specific reason for his upset, but it could be linked to a critical advert a group of anti-Trump Republicans are running on Fox News this week. Republicans for the Rule of Law, a group opposed to the president, paid for an ad spot during Fox & Friends – one of Trump’s favorite shows – which highlights his response to the coronavirus.

“50,000 people have died,” reads capitalized text at the start of the advert.

“This is our president.”

THE IMPERIAL PALACE (April 29) 
Has no one noticed this virus conspiracy?
This hoax, in fact, is merely a theory.
A plot, a ploy, a “dump Trump” attempt
which, like “Darwin”, I hold in contempt.
It's clear to me this is depravity.
Next thing you know, Dems will claim gravity
explains we’ve fallen into a chasm.
Does no one hear, get my sarcasm?


It is “SO SAD” FOX has forgotten,
either they praise me or ratings are rotten.
Once loyal reporters have gotten slipshod.
I AM A FIERCE AND JEALOUS GOD.
A god whom they with good reason fear.
Were I MBS, they might . . . . disappear.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

№ 479: FOX News Position

WaPo: President Trump’s full Washington Post interview transcript, annotated (paywall)


I have a gut, and my gut tells me more sometimes than anybody else’s brain can ever tell me.

So inside is FOX with
our White House chum,
we could ™ the slogan
“News From Trump's Tum.

There's lots of stuff
we deserve credit for.
FOX is much more than
a network of predators.

Monday, November 26, 2018

№ 473: Donald Serenades The Base (A Hand In The Till?)

(with apologies to Carl Sigman and Charles Danvers)

Email subscribers click here.

I give you reason to live.
All I do you forgive.
You support and adore me. . .

till bald Rudy grows some hair,
till Congress sprouts a pair,
till then you'll worship me.

Till Bob Mueller sees my tax,
till FOX News broadcasts facts,
till then you'll all fall for me.

I am old white men's revenge,
I have come to avenge
all that's gone on before me.

Till Vlad and Xi agree
they've had enough of me,
till when I'm doing time.

Thursday, October 18, 2018

№ 446.1: EXTRA! Exit The Fox

FOX Business News: FOX Business Network cancels participation in Saudi Conference


This “Desert Davos” is looking deserted.
But to be “balanced and fair”:
it's not that we think killing's perverted. . .
we just “don't want to go there”.
It's such a snooze — the absence of booze.
It gives us pause — the absence of whores.
Rupert's convinced it's wrong to wince
at Jared's and Donald's STILL favorite prince.

Although we've enjoyed being close to throne,
we really don't want to be there alone
with His Royal Highness and staff in a room
with guards at the doors anytime soon.
We would prefer to stay home in bed
than have to consider losing our head.

Thursday, September 13, 2018

№ 421: The FOX In The Penthouse

What is the difference —
explain please, I implore! —
between FOX News
and InfoWars:
distorted views
reported as news.
What is their excuse?
Am I being obtuse?

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

№ 420: GOP Labor Strategy (or why Dems can't win)

We were never in favor
of organized labor.
“Working” people are mugs.
And unlike their bosses,
these “labor forces”
only do down-market drugs.
They think beer is dandy.
They do not drink brandy.
Meth suits them fine.
They don't do lines
off strippers' humongous juggs.

We slander, we pander, we gerrymander.
On top of that there's our FOX propaganda.
We've not the splinterest
concern for their interests.
We'd crush them underfoot
if they were slugs
and if they see this
we say, “It's those damned elitists
who, as per usual,
see you as chumps”
and they'll hang tough
with our Donald Trump.



Sunday, April 1, 2018

No. 302.1: EXTRA! Ho-hum


     You could measure the decline of Fox News by the drop in the quality of guests waiting in the green room. A year and a half ago, you might have heard George Will discussing policy with a senator while a former Cabinet member listened in. Today, you would meet a Republican commissar with a steakhouse waistline and an eager young woman wearing too little fabric and too much makeup, immersed in memorizing her talking points.
     This wasn’t a case of the rats leaving a sinking ship. The best sailors were driven overboard by the rodents.
WaPo: Why I left Fox News (Paywall)

That FOX “News”
is not NEWS
is NOT news
because
FOX “News”
is not news
and never was.
FOX “News”
fakes “news”,
that's what does.

[updated 4/1/2018, 5:59 pm]

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

No. 195: George Papadopoulos

Who, indeed, is George Papadopoulos?
Deuce ex machina from atop the Acropolis?
Had he the run of the White House premises?
Will he turn into DT's nightmare nemesis?
What he reveals, will it heal the wound?
“Details at six” (NOT on FOX!) so stay tuned.

Bonus: "Who Needs Trumpets"

Friday, June 16, 2017

No. XC: After The Pox

In the wake of Ailes, O'Reilly and Kelly*,
at FOX the merde docks got very smelly.
In order to their fortunes repair,
they decommissioned both "balanced" and "fair",
replacing them with "Most watched, most trusted"

instead of the more accurate "Touched crotch, got busted".
——————————
* List of women who accused Roger Ailes and Bill O'Reilly of sexual misconduct.