№ 689.1: EXTRA! It Takes One Two No One

Robert O'Brien attended ‘routinely racist’ university in apartheid South Africa

Donald Trump’s new national security adviser studied at the segregated University of the Orange Free State

South Africa at the time was considered a pariah state and faced wide-ranging academic, sporting and cultural boycotts, backed by the UN. The US imposed sanctions in 1986, after Congress pushed through the Comprehensive Anti-Apartheid Act, overriding a veto by Ronald Reagan.

YOUGOTTAPROBLEMWITHSOMETHIN (September 24)

So what my guy supports apartheid?

It's not like he's some kind of Muslim.

(I don't mind good ones who murder journalists,

I mean like the terrorist hoodlums

who cheered from their roof when TWIN TOWERS collapsed.

I remember! That's proof! You've “forgotten”, perhaps?)

And he's not Hispanic. So what's the panic?

O'BRIEN is not Gonzales.

He's pure European like you and like me,

is not that sufficient solace.

I would if I could but sadly I can't

resurrect and appoint the late, great George Wallace.

№ 684: To War Or Not To War (in need of digression)

Trump says US response to oil attack depends on Saudi Arabia's assessment

US secretaries of state and energy both explicitly blamed Iran for the attack but Trump suggests US did not have definitive evidence

...Trump suggested on Monday the US did not have definitive evidence, adding that he would send the secretary of state, Mike Pompeo, to Riyadh to investigate.

GIMME SHELTER (September 16)

Well it could be Iran.

I think I would know.

If anyone can.

But I will find out.

Meanwhile. . .locked and loaded.

If it was Iran, they may have been goaded

by our Allies (the Saudis,

to a man princes).

I will strike back if they can convince me

it won't cost U.S. money

or U.S. lives.

(Fact of the matter, war gives me hives.)

I'm sending Mike P.

(Pompeo, not Pence.)

To see if he can make any sense

of what's going on,

which side are liars,

(to look out for islands in need of buyers),

if our friends (the Saudis)

are willing to pay

all of the costs of this affray.

Trust me, I won't put

the homeland at risk.

But as a precaution, I'm under my desk.

Click
(WARNING: Video accompanying Rolling Stones “Gimme Shelter” contains graphic Vietnam war footage. Viewer caution is urged. NOT! KIDDING!)

[updated 9/17/2019 12:02 am]

№ 602.1: EXTRA! Separation Of Powers À La Trump

Trump Invokes Emergency Arms Sales Authority to Counter Iran

Decision to speed delivery of 22 deals worth $8 billion; opponents decry administration’s move 

WASHINGTON—The Trump administration on Friday invoked a rarely used provision of American arms control laws to sidestep Congress and authorize billions of dollars in weapons sales to Middle East allies, angering U.S. lawmakers who characterized the decision as an abuse of power.

MYWAY, May 25

This “rule of law” shit. . .
What the fuck's that about?
The way to do things
is personal clout.
My dad and Roy Cohn
both taught me and thought
there are no rules
that cannot be bought
out or ignored
or gotten round
if you bluster enough
a way can be found.

Eagles are regal.
Eagles are TRUMPs.
Rules are for seagulls
who eat trash at dumps.
Loser winged rats.
bird democrats.
(With a small “d”,
fuck democracy.)

№ 539: The Twain Meet (the second date)

With apologies to Cole Porter. 

Email subscribers click here.

I love Kim.

And I tell you this is not some whim.

Though he may be a murderer, a horrible dictator,

his people love him like mine love me — albeit mine love greater.

I envy how he gets to rule without a legislature.

Yes, I love Kim.

Of all the tyrants that I've met within my presidancy

since the day that I took up my White House residancy,

Kim, I gotta tell ya, is the one who I most fancy.

Oi, I love Kim.

I love Kim.

I kenna tell ya how much I love him.

He kills at will just as they do in beautiful Araby

and in China, Russia — no ifs, no buts, no maybes.

I wonder how he would dispatch our Democrat crybabies.

Yes, I love Kim.

When I meet with my dear Kim my heart goes all a flutter.

He so reminds me of Roy Cohn I almost turn to butter.

And, no, I am no fag, so get your mind out of the gutter.

But I love Kim.

№ 478: Donald Defends MBS

If you think MBS
is a reprobate*,

you don't know
New York/New Jersey
real estate.

Jared and I,

we can relate.

However, others

are hard to convince
it's in U.S. interest
to stick with the Prince

and refrain from denouncing
murdering journalists.

Or his killing dozens, scores,
TEN THOUSAND† civilians.

(Most of them Yemeni women and children.)

With made-in-America expensive munitions.

No disputation.
MBS is good for our nation.

And, did I mention

that in due course

together we'll build
Persian Gulf courses?
With these resources —

Trump brand, Saudi money —

in sandy Riyadh,
it'll be sunny.

(Until, that is,
the revolution
when Saudis apply
their Wahhabi solution
and we re-ally
with our old pal Iran
to contain
our Saudi friends'
Islamist plan.

And so it goes.
Keeps us on our toes.)

_________________

*ARCHAIC•CHRISTIAN THEOLOGY (especially in Calvinism) a sinner who is not of the elect and is predestined to damnation.
†gross underestimate

№ 470: Trump On The News Of The Day, November 20, 2018 (and not)

WSJ: Trump Stands With Saudi Arabia, Plays Down Crown Prince’s Alleged Role in Journalist’s Killing

The president says, ‘maybe he did and maybe he didn’t!’

WSJ: House Democrats to Investigate Ivanka Trump’s Email Use

The House Oversight Committee will probe her use of a private email account to conduct official government business, the panel’s senior Democrat said

WSJ: Saudi Arabia Accused of Torturing Women Activists in Widening Crackdown on Dissent

Women’s-rights activists lashed and given electric shocks in prison; at least one tried to commit suicide

NYT: Trump Wanted to Order Justice Dept. to Prosecute Comey and Clinton (paywall)

NPR: President Trump Pardons 2 Thanksgiving Turkeys*

It makes me so sad 

how that guy met his fate.

Did Jared's pal order it?

It's a debate.

Who to believe?

Who is to say?

His Royal Highness

or @failedCIA?

Anyway, seems to me,
at end of day,
he was asking for it
when he got in the way.

He was fake news,
this Islamist.
Jeff Bozos' Amazon's
opinion impostor.
WaPo's Arab terrorist.

The Muslim Brotherhood's

own Jim Acosta.

I am “sad” he's dead,
but I look ahead
to weapon sales
and important details
of my cunning plan
to mess with Iran
with Saudi proxy.
Goddamn, I'm foxy!

       *  *  *

Rethinking Hillary's

email private server:

problem is in

eye of observer.

Ivanka did same thing

but I, as her Dad,

just gotta tell you

her's wasn't bad.

When she is bad

she gets a spanking

the thought of which. . .

____ ___ __ _______.

[Write your own last line. “Knocking off” early for Thanksgiving here at The Dog. 

Happy Holiday Merry XMAS?]

_________________
*not Don Jr. and Eric

№ 456.1: EXTRA! From the Crown Prince's Secret Diary

WaPo: Saudi crown prince described slain journalist as a dangerous Islamist in call with White House (Paywall)

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman described slain journalist Jamal Khashoggi as a dangerous Islamist days after his disappearance in a phone call with President Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner and national security adviser John Bolton, according to people familiar with the discussion.

Soon as I’m done with the phone call to Jared,

I’ll go online and buy stuff from Harrods.

Something that’s nice, something that’s choice

something to go with another Rolls Royce.

I think it’ll be an interesting twist:

calling Khashoggi an Islamist.

Though his murder was, I think now, a mistake,

Jared is always so easy to fake.

Unlike my dad, who in his senility,

is starting to question my culpability.

He asked just now, and it made me wince,

“Who the hell taught you to act like a prince?”

“I said a hundred times —  or was it once? —

I need a Royal Prince, not a Royal Dunce!

Why can't you be more like that nice boy Jared?

Sometimes Oy vish vas ha Joo Oy had married!”

№ 454: Realpolitik — making tomorrow's problems today

NYT: THE TRAGEDY OF SAUDI ARABIA’S WAR (Paywall)

CHEST HEAVING AND EYES FLUTTERING, the 3-year-old boy lay silently on a hospital bed in the highland town of Hajjah, a bag of bones fighting for breath.

The harshest criticism of the Saudi-led war has focused on the airstrikes that have killed thousands of civilians at weddings, funerals and on school buses, aided by American-supplied bombs and intelligence.

Children are starving?
That's truly tragic!
If we could (somehow) 
fix this by magic,
we would.
IF we could.

BUT. . .if babies die
cuz our ally-pal Saudis
use weapons we sell them
fighting these Houthis —
backed by Iran. . .
IRAN?
You. . .understand. . .

We have this. . .plan
to. . .undo Iran.
Like we did, glory be,
in 1953.
You remember, no doubt,
how that one turned out?
Bad guys o'erthrown,
Shah on the throne?
And then Iran
left the oil co’s alone?

We really do. . .pity
these kiddies’ plight
and hope everything (somehow)
comes out all right.

BUT. . .since they are Muslim,
we note (with regret),
if they grow up,
they could pose a threat.

Due to an editing error, the email version of № 452.3: EXTRA! May We Please Be Excused? contained errors. Click here for corrected text.

№ 447.1: EXTRA! Saudi Offalcial Statement

TCCN EXCLUSIVE!

RIYADH (rhymes with jihad) — Saudis Release Final Statement Following Plebiscite On Death Of Jamal Khashoggi

As a most loyal subject,

Jamal, it is said,

just up and died

coz we wanted him dead.

All those in favor, say, “Aye”.

Those opposed. . .

should, we suggest,

get their heads diagnosed

and act like sheep

if those heads they would keep.

We herewith promise enough oil to pump

to get this accepted by President Trump.

(How many F-35's must we buy

before having to teach our women to fly?)