№ 586.1: EXTRA! Questioning The Attorney Generally

THE SWAMP, May 1

Trump thought he'd relax
after Bill Barred the facts.
But, dang it, it isn't that simple.
GOP side (again!) played the Hillary card,
Dem side tried (hard!) catching Bill Barr off guard
and sly Lindsey G. shyly peeked from his wimple.
Answering questions Bill Barr seemed aloof
and stupid when queried on Mueller's reproof.
(As for el jefe — dear God, what a goof,
the man has the brain of a pimple!)

Breathe deep. Close your eyes. Count up to ten.
Everything's better. We're great again!
(So long as our eyes remain unopened.)

[updated 5/2/2019, 12:25 p.m.]

№ 557.4: EXTRA! Trump: “Complete And Total” Misrepresentation

Mueller Doesn’t Find Trump Campaign Conspired With Russia

A summary of the special counsel’s report that Attorney General William Barr sent to Congress on Sunday found that while the report “does not conclude that the president committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him” on the question of obstruction of justice.

Speaking to reporters in Florida on Sunday before boarding Air Force 1, Mr. Trump called the findings a “complete and total exoneration.”

WASHINGTON, March 24

The record will show beyond dispute

the serpent never gave Eve any fruit.