№ 330: Contemplate This!

Galumphing triumphant toward nuclear brink,

just think where we'd be if Trump took a drink.

I trust our dust would then be all over.

We must, I think, thank Diet Coke that he's sober.
Not, mind!, that that will make a diff
if he pushes us over the nuclear cliff:
North Korea or Iran, if that be his whim,
to show dead father Fred he's better than him.

No. 316: No Go Sh*t Eating With Donnie And Kim

Trump says 'Good relationship' formed with North Korea

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Donald Trump on Wednesday confirmed that his CIA chief secretly met with Kim Jong Un in North Korea and said “a good relationship was formed” heading into the adversaries' anticipated summit.

Kim and I are

so much the same.

That's why I call him

by his pet name.

This is good

for clearing the air

provided the name

is funny and fair —

one I can choose 

so I can abuse 
anyone, anytime and anywhere.

(Not like names

others call me

which are a disgrace

I can say honestly.)

If L'il Kim'll his missiles forsake,

I'll serve him BEW-T-FUL cake.

Then if he scraps all of his nukes,

I'll willingly lower my GIGANTIC dukes.

I'll negotiate peace, trade and so forth —

handing over the South to the North —
if Kim'll agree to curtail cheap steel.

That's what I call THE ART OF THE DEAL!

No. 200: West Slide Story (Korean Edition)

(Leonard Bernstein과 Stephen Sondheim에게 사과와 함께.)
(with apologies to Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim.)

"Maria" (<— Click to start orchestra in new page. Return here to sing along. English lyrics follow Korean.)

대한민국. . .
한반도에 두 나라. . .
한국, 한국, 한국. . .
하나는 현대적이고 다른 하나는 (나 같은) 섬 모양입니다. . .
한국, 한국, 한국. . .
대한민국!
에어 포스 원 (Air Force One)
모두 무서워
내가 준비가 안되어서
그래서 달아나 라.
대한민국!
내가 한국에 할 줄 알아?
나쁘지 않을거야.
블라드에게 남겨둔다.
와 사이
대한민국!
내 멍청이라고 생각해. . .
폭파를 시작할 때까지 기다릴 뿐이에요. . .
대한민국,
그것은 한국을 위해 모두 일 것입니다!

한때 한반도의 두 나라. . .
대한민국!!

Korea. . .
Two nations on one pen-in-su-la. . .
Korea, Korea, Korea, Korea. . .
One's modern and the other's (like me) in-su-lar. . .
Korea, Korea, Korea, Korea. . .
Korea!
Air Force One just touched down in Korea,
Everyone be scared
because I'm unprepared,
so flee.
Korea!
God knows I'll do to Korea?
It might not be so bad
to leave it up to Vlad
and Xi
Korea!
You consider my bluster alarming. . .
Just you wait until I start my bombing. . .
Korea,
that will be all for Korea!
Ko-reee-a!
Korea.
Ko-reeee-a.
Korea.
Korea.
Korea.
Ko-reeeee-a.
Korea.
Korea.
You consider my bluster alarming. . .
Just you wait until I start my bombing. . .
Korea,
that will be no more Korea!

Two countries on a peninsula that used to be. . .
Ko-re-a!

NO. CLXXXIII: TRUMP — Dip Toeing Into Weevil “Genius”

After total non-start,

I'm outsourcing my
wall to Wal-Mart.

Constructed in China,

a wall seen from space.

So green men and Mexicans,

there IN YOUR FACE!
You say, “No way”
my wall's gonna work?

I say, “Oh, yeah.

Look at China!

See bad hombres there?”

After I'm done with Korea

(“Bye-bye, Kim, in hell I'll see ya!”),

though I'm tea-total,

to bond with my voters, I'll

celebrate with my first beer.

I have anti-impeachment insurance.

A test of opponents' endurance.

No matter how tense,

no Dems want Mike Pence!

NOT gonna write
my biography.

Can't copyright title:

“Despicable Me”.

No. CXLVI: How I, Donald J. Trump, Do Bidness (labored thoughts)

Up 'til now if things turned fraught
on question of who sold who bought
I'd retort I will see you in court
and if anyone called my bluff
I would reply I will not take this guff
and promptly haughtily leave in a huff

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury
again I threaten fire and fury
watch it "dear Kim" or you'll be sorry*
better take heed better believe me
you push me I'll do a new bankruptcy
and break your pal Xi then where will you be

I will do whatever I hafta
end trade with the South get outta NAFTA
court all sort of nat'ral disasta
Did not I end Obamacare
Am not I graceful as Fred Astaire
Do not I have a head full of hair

I am making America grate
(spelling never was a strong trait)
if only I could re-rescue Kuwait
Maybe my program does not make sense
I called for a wall and can't build a fence
even I'm looking forward to President Pence

©McClatchyDC.com

I can't really deal with dead traitors on horses
what I have a feel for is building golf courses
(and marriage and dating between divorces)
I told you all I was no politician
let this then serve as an act of contrition
relax everyone unassume the position


When I began this I had no design
and not to make the point all too fine
I've had it enough I quit I resign
————————
*Canadian pronunciation "sorrie"