IMPERIAL PALACE (February 5)
Everyone knows I am so germaphobic,
I don’t ever breathe when near the Potomac,
an Indian river which unlike Liz Warren
has “native” blood — by which I mean foreign,
not North European like you and like me and
not Latin or Asian or even Korean
like dear leader Kim, my nuclear friend,
and Putin and Bibi (he-manly men
like me and President Xi)
and the Turkish guy whose name I forget
and Bolsonaro and the Philippine whosis
and my murdering Prince, MBS,
who Jarred assures me can do Middle East peace
if the price is right and Bibi’s convinced
before he’s convicted, jailed and evicted
from whatever they call their White House.
AND Boris Johnson — Johnson! lovin’ that name —
who’s a bigger liar than I am . . .
My phone call was “perfect”,
no smoking gun, no quid pro quo,
and as you know Bolton’s a jerk,
an Obama guy who should be locked up
whoever appointed him is bigly corrupt.
And so it's admitted, I am acquitted.
It's finally attested. And now I can have
late night “comics” arrested.
Cancel election.
I am perfection.
(Time for new wife?)
I am perfection.
(Time for new wife?)
I am forever.
I am for life.
I am for life.