№ 567: Agent Orange — Trump 2020 Stump Speech (a preview)

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INSIDE DONALD'S MEDULLA, April 4

You know, folks, Karl Darwin tells lotsa lies.
Says he sees Kapital's impending demise
in this Oranges Species Communist Manifest
evolving worker and peasant unrest.
Well, I'll tell you. I'm not being funny. . .
workers and peasants don't have my money
because the fact is, dumb bastards pay taxes.
Who cares anyway what peasants say
and replaceable workers are in the way
of we fantastic billionaire builders
who are so successful that it bewilders
schmucks with brains by FOX fermented,
making them even more discontented
driving them to vote GOP
making it certain they'll reelect me
who they adore,
Donaddled Trump,
for four years more.

After me, eight years of Ivanka.
Dead German dad (Fred)
would have said, „Danke“.

№ 529: Darwin Day

DaySix Design, Ltd.

Late in the day, Day 6          

Dear MADAM or SIR:

In receipt of YOURS of Day 5, in re: need to populate a world presently under construction.

We believe the product described below would meet YOUR requirement. (See enclosed prospectus for further details.)

It is our understanding that YOU have already installed products from other vendors on this world.

Please note: our products may be incompatible with products not designed and built to our exacting standards.

PROPOSAL

We recommend two Homo erectus,

page forty-two, "All Creatures Prospectus".

Speech configed with internal diaphragm,

grunts and growls, may later ask "why I am?".

A proof-of-concept working prototype!

GREAT potential!

                (Okay, that's over-hype.

Sparsely equipped, upright but ungainly--

some bugs to work out, in the brain mainly,

built on the cheap as an experiment,

spare parts collage, leftover "excrement".)

Cheap at the price!

                    If YOU have to think twice...

YOU might like our mice...

                    Who are very nice.

Under the circumstances, we can not guarantee suitability for YOUR purpose which, frankly, we can not comprehend.

Should YOU have further occasion to call worlds into existence, we strongly advise that YOU contact us beforehand!

N.B. Prices shown in prospectus are for standard models. If customization required, please provide YOUR image to enable us to estimate additional charges.

Prices and specifications subject to change without prior notice. Prohibited where void.

YOURS truly,                  

Homo Ergaster                 

DaySix Design, Ltd.           

№ 512: Pandora's Pithos (a pithy pity)

You can’t think yourself out of instinct.

Procreate. You know the drill.

Thinking, at best, helps you tread water,

postponing drowning in seas of “godswill”.

Einstein and Darwin, (in theory) knew better,

but stuck with the program down to the letter.

Predestination, evolution and FATE —

leave little room for free will.

Everyone's born back of ball number eight.

Set expectation to nil.

№ 443: Where There's Hope There's...Bernie, Liz and Dennis Kucinich (remember him?)

Progressives insist it'll be grand

when all the world's people

link arms and join hands.

BUT according to Darwin

and his “daughter” Ayn Rand

peace and equality are not in the plan.

Hopeful progressives dismiss this abyss.
They persist in their ignorant bliss.

“And that's how it is.”
Something I missed?

WaPo: Trump called Robert E. Lee ‘a great general.’ Robert Lee IV disagrees. (Paywall)

“He is showing us that he supports an idol of white supremacy and of hatred,” Robert Lee IV said of the president in a video statement he shared Saturday with his 31,000 Twitter followers. “Robert E. Lee fought for the continued enslavement of black bodies. It was for states' rights, yes, but it was for states' rights to own slaves. I find myself saddened by the state of our nation.”

Relevant reprint:
Thursday, August 17, 2017
No. CXXXIII.i: EXTRA! Nonsense On Pedestals

№ 437: Dominion (PRESTO!: a GOP/Christian/Libertarian Mephistophelean manifesto)

We are God's carnivores!

God made us free

to eat anything
we decree, 

in any way, 
dumber than we.

We human beings —

God's chosen, US! —

are allowed to eat everything.

What's to discuss?

Interpolating

God's clear intent,

we can DO ANYTHING!

(Except during Lent.

When, for example,

in place of hair shirts

we show we're holy

by skipping desserts.)

It also follows,

as night does day,

the best amongst us

have final say

on WHO gets to live

WHO needs to die

WHO does NOT get

a sliver of pie.

If you are a slave
and I am free
it's what God wants
for eternity.

It's all in accord

with Almighty's plan.

You know, “Almighty”?

Roosian-born Ayn?

Though Jesus is still

our afterlife darlin',

for here and now livin',

we prefer Rand and Darwin.

BONUS FOR US CARNIVORES


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