№ 786: A Very Stable Genius Contemplates Next Steps

IMPERIAL PALACE (February 5)

Everyone knows I am so germaphobic,

I don’t ever breathe when near the Potomac,

an Indian river which unlike Liz Warren

has “native” blood — by which I mean foreign,

not North European like you and like me and

not Latin or Asian or even Korean

like dear leader Kim, my nuclear friend,

and Putin and Bibi (he-manly men

like me and President Xi)

and the Turkish guy whose name I forget

and Bolsonaro and the Philippine whosis

and my murdering Prince, MBS,

who Jarred assures me can do Middle East peace

if the price is right and Bibi’s convinced

before he’s convicted, jailed and evicted

from whatever they call their White House.

AND Boris Johnson — Johnson! lovin’ that name —

who’s a bigger liar than I am . . .

My phone call was “perfect”,

no smoking gun, no quid pro quo, 

and as you know Bolton’s a jerk,

an Obama guy who should be locked up

whoever appointed him is bigly corrupt.

And so it's admitted, I am acquitted.

It's finally attested. And now I can have

late night “comics” arrested.

Cancel election.
I am perfection.
(Time for new wife?)

I am forever.
I am for life.

№ 779: What A Re-Bolton Development This Is . . .

WAIT A MINUTE (January 27)

Talk about a bolt from the blue!

Another Never Trump liar!

And after I treated him so very nicely . . .

what a SAD brush-mustachioed guy!

No need at all for Bolton to testify,

I did not do anything wrong.

And if I did it was to show how the Bidens

were the real crooks all along.

The only fair and just outcome is this,

“Disaster” Roberts says, “Case is dismissed.”

№ 680: Bolton The Stable Door After The Whores Half-Clothed

John Bolton Ousted by Trump as National Security Adviser

‘I disagreed strongly with many of his suggestions,’ the president said on Twitter, ‘therefore I asked John for his resignation’

...Mr. Bolton offered a different account of his departure, writing: “I offered to resign last night and President Trump said, ‘Let’s talk about it tomorrow.’ ”

THE LAND OF OZ, Little Man Behind The Curtain (September 10)

I fired Bolton.

Despite his disputin'.

I fired Bolton.

It wasn't Vlad Putin

who pulled the trigger.

I fired Bolton.

I said, “Good bye, John.

I wish you the best,

enjoy the farm.”

I fired Bolton,

gave him the shove

sent him “upstate”

like dad did with

that puppy I loved.

I fired Bolton.

Told him to go.

Let there be no doubt

who's running this show.

I fired Bolton.

Said, “It's been a laugh

and, by the way,

hate the mustache.”

I fired Bolton.

That is not a felony.

It's a lesson for all. . .

including you, Melanie.

№ 607.1: EXTRA! Is That A Gun In Your Pocket (or are you just glad to see me?)

North Korea 'executes envoy to US' after Trump summit failures – report

South Korean paper claims Kim Hyok-chol has been killed and senior negotiator Kim Yong-chol subjected to forced labour

TRUMPLAND, May 31

And you wonder why
I love this guy
and moreover why
he loves me?
His folks for him
are glad to die
just as mine would for me.
(If I set them the task
and had someone ask.)
True blood brothers
are we, Kim and me.
True blood brothers are we.

Nothing can shame us.
We are both famous.
Those who dare blame us
are ignoramuses.
I get inspired
when I say, “You're fired!”
Kim follows suit
and actually shoots.

What now should I say
to Bolton and Pompeo?
“If you two can't deliver
some real diplo clout,
I'll have you shot
and taken out!?”

No. 308.1: EXTRA! Bolton Loaded

John Bolton takes over as national security adviser today in the midst of a new national security crisis: another chemical attack in Syria. President Trump responded with strongly worded tweets blaming both Russian President Vladimir Putin and Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, warning there would be a “big price to pay.”

— WaPo: Bolton starts today, with a Syria crisis on the agenda. But there arelimits to what he can do. (Paywall)

“Lucky” John Bolton

on his first day

may get to say,

“Okay. Good to go!

All bombs away!”

and not have to wait

while Congres debates

to kill at will

people he hates.