917: Live Free And Die

American bikers’ display of free-dumb is yet another reason to keep our border closed (Paywall)

When the 80th annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally opens Aug. 7 in South Dakota, it will probably be the largest gathering of humanity anywhere in the world this year. Organizers expect a quarter of a million people to attend over its 10 days. 

“The City of Sturgis Motorcycle Rally is an icon of American Freedom and Independence,” said the City Council in a June press release that confirmed the rally would go ahead, despite daily increases in recorded cases of the COVID-19 virus.

American Free-dumb, more like. The Black Hills will be a petri dish of contagion, spreading back through the United States after the partying rally-goers return home in mid-August. Contact tracing will be near-impossible and pointless.

LIBERTARIANVILLE (August 6) —

I’d rather be on a slab in the morgue

than to cover my mouth with a mask. It

is my choice, I choose to live free.

Also, I got a great deal on a casket.

So I infect others? Boohoo! Too bad.

It's a free country. YOU'RE NOT MY DAD!

If you choose to suck in my air,

and get stuck by the virus, I don’t really care

about you and your kind, you sissy sod.

Stay out of my way and hands off my Hog.

№ 675: Bothers Grim

ASITWASINTHEBEGINNING (September 2)

Life, by nature,
is, at base, brutal.
Nature, herself, is
essentially feudal.
The strongest survive,
the weakest perish.
That is the formula
Mother N cherishes.
Socialist hopefuls
achieving power,
give up the share thing
within the hour.
On the other hand,
Ayn Rand Libertarians
believe she rewards
their grand plans vulgarian.
However, they quickly retreat
in defeat.
Mediocrity cannot
pass for elite.

№ 518: Toasting Libertarians

To all Libertarians,

you Ayn Randian

professed successors to Socrates:

Please excuse if

you think I am grim. . .

but Socrates? You do know

what happened to him?

If not, I'm sorry

the subject came up.

This one is on me.

Bottoms up!

№ 488: How Democracy Could Be Made To Work (an Ayn Randy/Jim-Dandy/Koch Bros Ideal)

Do not try to tell me democracy works!

You like being governed by losers and jerks?

Said Jefferson 😇, “God” created men equal 😉.

In the beginning. We're in the sequel.

Which — no surprise — is appalling flawed. 

Presents for peasants! I mean, Good Lord!

S-l-o-o-o-o-w, low IQ beggars and debtors

who think they're better than us, their betters,

and, stubborn, refuse to yield to our will

which leaves us no option. Other than kill.

THAT sort of democracy would be an improvement.

As after a blockage is a bowel movement.

№ 437: Dominion (PRESTO!: a GOP/Christian/Libertarian Mephistophelean manifesto)

We are God's carnivores!

God made us free

to eat anything
we decree, 

in any way, 
dumber than we.

We human beings —

God's chosen, US! —

are allowed to eat everything.

What's to discuss?

Interpolating

God's clear intent,

we can DO ANYTHING!

(Except during Lent.

When, for example,

in place of hair shirts

we show we're holy

by skipping desserts.)

It also follows,

as night does day,

the best amongst us

have final say

on WHO gets to live

WHO needs to die

WHO does NOT get

a sliver of pie.

If you are a slave
and I am free
it's what God wants
for eternity.

It's all in accord

with Almighty's plan.

You know, “Almighty”?

Roosian-born Ayn?

Though Jesus is still

our afterlife darlin',

for here and now livin',

we prefer Rand and Darwin.

BONUS FOR US CARNIVORES


Email subscribers click here.

№ 430: Kavanaugh (and so many others) Explained

A man born to privilege
need never apologize
for anything — EVER! — at all.
What with this birthright
wrong is his right,
summer, spring, winter and fall.

As you may be aware
we do not really care
to be egalitarian
with vulgarian carrion.
Who, please excuse me,
DO NOT amuse me.

We Libertarians
despise proletarians.
They 
are in our way.
We 
expect respect.
They 
DO NOT genuflect.
A failing, we pray,
Judge K will correct.

BONUS:

Email subscribers click here.

Back when our Brett was very young,
he was well built and so well hung
that all the girls loved what they saw,
they saw of raw Brett Kavanaugh.

He was pure steel he used to say
and with the girls he had his way.
Young prep school girls all stood in awe,
undid their bras for Kavanaugh.

The trail that he blazed is still there.
No one has dared since to disgrace his name.
If they ever tried he'd snigger,
“They failed to figure I have no shame.”

If this dishonor joins the court
there will be only one resort:
from Amazon to get a get a gun
and join the rev, Rev-o-lu-shun.

№ 412: Speaker Ryan

Obviously,

no one can be 

Christian
AND Libertarian.

Actively
preaching the Trinity

while claiming to be
Unitarian.

Libertarians,
for all their convictions,
tend to forget
Ayn Rand wrote fictions.
While, for their part,

Christians, at heart,

are communitarian

not in the least bit

are they libertarian.

But Ryan insists

this is what he is.

Christian
AND Libertarian,

that is.

He is THE EXPERT

so let him be.

He insists he is both

so let us agree.
To paraphrase Schiller's,

perhaps, too apt refrain:

Against stupidity the gods,
themselves, contend in vain.

№ 331: The Blightests And The Beasts

The thing that sets Dunning-Krugers apart:

the mistaken conviction that they're “very smart”.

If they ever heard of them they would disparage

the studies that show they are below average.

Can you say “Punch”? Can you say “Judy”?

Can you say “Trump”? Can you say “Rudy”?

When I think Dunning-Kruger those two of a kind

spring to mind

along with Sanders' “Socialists” and Rand's “Libertarians”.

(Mom said I tended contrarian.)

№ 327: Conservatives?

Today's “Conservatives” are ignorant RADICALS,

  Bible Belt Trumpers and Ayn Rand extremists.

The latter, like Marxists, don't get economics.

  The former don't understand Jesus.

Discussing religion is always fraught,

  therefore the less said the better.

HOWEVER. . . ignoring the message while always insisting

  you're following it to the letter?!

Though GOP Randys pander to “Christians”

  to achieve legislative majorities,

when in power they say “What the hell, screw 'em.

  Their concerns are not our priorities.”

Seeing these creeps Lady Liberty weeps
  and lowers her torch in despair.

The Randarians can not tell truth from swill
  while the “Christians” haven't a prayer*.
_______________________
*Cf. Matthew 6:7

No. 271: A Koch Brothers Lament (And you think you've got problems?)

In the U.S. economy the question persists:

how many poor folk to permit exist

to provide our food, clean up our messes,

to do whatever we feel would distress us?

How to determine the number of plumbers,

servants, salesmen, drummers, newcomers

needed to keep things pleasant and easy 

doing work which makes us queasy?

Their numbers sufficient to keep things efficient

with wages below some low coefficient

enough (barely) to keep them assuaged

complacently placid so they'll not engage

in fights for their “rights” setting their sights

on toppling us, the elites, from the heights?

While we have to admit we love keeping them down,

our heads do lie uneasy wearing the crown.

No. CL.ii: EXTRA! Annie Randy Lives

From Quartz Weekend Edition: Making money during the apocalypse.

Bryan Menegus reports for Gizmodo from a conference whose attendees envisage a future where capitalism is under siege. “The machinery of freedom” apparently will include floating sea colonies, special economic zones, and stateless cryptocurrencies. And it’s up to these elite techno-libertarian attendees to ensure that future happens—whether it benefits the rest of the world or not. 

[WARNING: Piece is badly written and probably never saw an editor's red pencil. Reader caution, especially English major's, is advised.]

Annie Randy lives!
'swhy
ever'one else is gotta die

Inane, insane,
in th' main
on Chris-t-ain

ever'one ya distain
throwed unner th' train
fer capital gain...
whuts t' complain

all's this hears sayin' is t' be free
yer gonna need sum more slavery