NYT: ‘Shut Up, Satan’: Rome Course Teaches Exorcism, Even by Cellphone (Paywall)
ROME — Andrés Cárdenas sat in the back of the auditorium, opened his folder and took careful notes as a Catholic cardinal with decades of experience casting demons out of possessed bodies gave a master class on how to yell at the devil, rid Muslims of black magic and purge Satan on your cellphone.
On Tuesday, he could listen to an exorcist lecture on. . .“The Auxiliary Exorcist: Skills and Duties.”
On Wednesday, there was “Magical, Esoteric and Occult Links to Some Alternative and Energy-giving Therapies,” followed by Friday’s “The Exorcist: Life, Choices and Mistake.” But he was especially interested in Wednesday’s talk on “Witchcraft in Africa.”
So. . .THIS is what they get up to in Rome.
(Is somebody spending too much time home alone?)
Is the Vatican becoming — again! — as hysterical
as your typical U.S. Bible Belt Evangelical Clerical?
Does THE (one true) CHURCH believe it can thwart the demonical
by ripping off courses straight out of Rowling's Hogwarts chronicle?
All of this sounds, I have to confess,
like Flip Wilson's “The Devil Made Me Buy This Dress”*.
[Sidebar:
The devil can assume any disguise
Therefore, I'd say, we would be wise
to have White House and Capitol both exorcised.]
When, at last, Satan's cast out, banished and overthrown,
will she summon an Uber to take her home
by hacking the app on your smart phone?
Conclusion:
The devil will never prove as meticulous
as believers who render religion ridiculous.
[updated 4/22/2018, 1:15 pm]
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