№ 683: Pot Down

SMOKEGETSINYOUREVYTHING (September 15)

Is America actually “going to pot”?
It depends on the jurisdiction.
It may be in places where it is thought
puffing on weed need not lead to addiction,
where, indeed, it is agreed
Reefer Madness, the movie, is puerile fiction.

Whether or not pot is over the line,
depends where you live, how you define
what is permitted, what is verboten.
(Also in question: who's doin' the votin'.)
While there are many who'd love to stop it,
others'd druther put tax on the profit.

№ 588.2: EXTRA! Trump Tax Redact

Treasury Department Rejects Request for Trump Tax Returns

Move is likely to send the dispute into federal court

MADHATTERLAND, May 6

If I let Congress see my income tax

they'd be accessories after the fact

of my fraud. I mean, “Good Lord!”

as Mike Pence likes to say.

(Day after day after day after day after day after. . .)

My reasons are simple. My reasons are clear.

So let the FAKE NEWS call me cavalier.

It's about privacy. My showing disdain for

all things that grate me. It's kleptomania.

Not even John McEnroe can understand

the ginormous genius behind my backhand.

No member of Congress has enough brain,

my great accountants could never explain,

only partisan Dems will ever complain,

I find all rules and regs a God-awful pain — 

oh sorry, Mikey, I took whatsis in vain — 

(again),

whatever I did was for my own gain,

so shut the fuck up and just let me reign.
You'd prefer Pence? He's fuckin' insane.
Or, at best, at least very odd.
He hasn't the brain
of a cephalopod.
A squid or an octopus!
I mean get real.
(If I had eight arms
think what I'd steal.)

№ 573.1: EXTRA! The Fixer-In-Chief

Trump tweets he would ‘FIX’ and ‘REBRAND’ Boeing 737 Max (Paywall)

. . .he said that if he were in charge of the American aviation giant — as opposed to, say, the executive branch — he would “FIX the Boeing 737 MAX, add some additional great features, & REBRAND the plane with a new name.”

THE SWAMP, April 15

On June 14 I turn 73.

I would not mind

if they named it for me,

theirby ending BIGLY they're current slump

rebranding there failure the 7-3-Trump.

No need to FIX this. Really no problem.

I find just boasting is better than solving.....

....Especially today when my accountant relaxes

knowing that I will never pay taxes.

No. 236.1: EXTRA! Congress Taxes Belief

It was supposed to be a tax cut for manufacturers. Then it got out of control.

The wildly popular manufacturing break, passed in 2004, is a case study in the unforeseen consequences of changing the tax code — how companies take advantage of gaping holes and force the government to play catch-up.

— NYT: In a Complex Tax Bill, Let the Hunt for Loopholes Begin (Paywall)

As members of Congress

we have to confess

when dealing with taxes

we make a mess.

This, sadly, applies

across the aisle,

for both parties fall

for lobbyists' guile

and at their urging

write into law

clauses we have no idea

what they're for

only to find

sooner, not later,

we've created another 

revenue crater,

leaving the government

so short of cash

that it invites

all things to crash.

Bridges and highways

crumble while

we go on TV

pretending to smile,

saying with US

all will be well

while with THEM

it'll be hell.

No wonder voters

get disaffected.

Not that it matters

if we're reelected.

The country's secure,

safe from defeat,

only while each of us

keeps his or her seat.

No. 220: Cool, A GOP Jazz Riff (featuring Alan Greenspan on clarinet)

Relax, man!

Don't worry that “voters” don't like out tax plan.

What they opine is of no note.

When we are done, they will not have the vote.

We're packing the courts, changing the system,

replacing “democracy” with Ayn Randy wisdom,

paring government down to a minimum,

running the country as a condominium

where voting depends on shares outstanding

and peasants — er, people — can't go demanding

food, water, shelter. . .“justice”, medical care

that they don't pay for. How is it fair

to ask us, their betters, their natural superiors

to pay for the upkeep of all these inferiors?

Soon, with robots replacing the masses

we'll no longer need these “working” classes.

We'll just tell Alexa to order a car

to drive us from wherever we are

to the beach house, the country club, the airport, the yacht.

Any hoi polloi in our way will be shot.

We all agree: this is fair. Do we not?

No. 197: Tut Tut Tut

[Speaker of the House Paul] Ryan initially kicked the naming over to Trump because of his knack for branding, according to a senior Hill aide.

Trump has been insistent that the bill be called the Cut Cut Cut Act, according to the administration officials.

— The Atlantic, The ‘Cut Cut Cut Act’ Is Effective Branding

GOP Congress could not name the bill,

branding not being one of their skills.

They asked their leader.

He thought real hard.

He said his gut

said “Cut Cut Cut”.

This Act makes donations

to corporations

while keeping the wealthy

financially healthy. 

It gives middle classes

a boot up their asses.

(That is, if it passes.)

In private, Republicans call it AFRADAWT Act,

short for Are Folks Really As Dumb As We Thought Act.

No. CLXVIII: The Week In Rear View

Private flights: nice.

But there's a price.

Price was wrong.

And so...so long.

Monday, September 25

No.CLXIII: A Trump Letter To Kim

I propose one Korea with you in charge

with gas SUV's in every garage.

No.CLXIII.ii: EXTRA! Graham-Cassidy GOP Score

billions and trillions
that would be wasted
keeping lower
(and middle)
class riff-raff alive

Tuesday, September 26

No.CLXIV: NFL Today

anyone silently “taking a knee”
is taking too great a liberty

Wednesday, September 27
No. CLXV.i: EXTRA!: 1984 (Again)
There is no tellin'
just how Orwellian
Resident Lump is gonna act.

Thursday, September 28
No. CLXVI: Memo To Bernie, Rand, et. al.For reasons unfathomable,
things are as they are.

Friday, September 29
No. CLXVII: Gimme That (VERY) Ol' Time Religion
the multiple gods
our ancestors so long agreed on

Follow (occasional) breaking coverage on Twitter @tcementco.

Please contribute to Puerto Rico hurricane relief.

ConPRmetidos

Global Giving

Save the Children

Team Rubicon

UNICEF

Unidos por Puerto Rico

No. CXLVIX: Unsummery News Summary (Before The Fall)

Let's get real face the fact in the present:
Trump's nothing more than a nouveau riche peasant
who with his wealth from undisclosed sources
wants to chop down our cherry orchard.
His taste is atrocious —
garish, gilded and gaudy.
In pursuing sex
he's always been naughty.
He insists his steak be grilled overdone.
He does not drink wine. He is not much fun.
Nixon resigned.
Fate spared us Ted Kennedy.
But with this guy
there is no remedy.
Now...I do not want to make any fuss,
but this man's just a tad too dangerous.
Korea, trade winds, immigration...problems aplenty...
in foresight our hindsight might not see 2020.
Curious, no,
how history meanders?
What's next in store?
Please not Bernie Sanders.