891: Donnie As Falstaff Playing Prince Hal (sort of)

BOAR’S HEAD TAVERN (July 1) —

“Peek-a-boo, I see you.”

That’s all this virus is.

If I close my eyes,

real, real tight,

the virus just disappears.

Eliminate tests, eliminate cases.

Eliminate masks covering faces.

Eliminate protests for “Black Lives Matter”.

Eliminate liberal MSDNC chatter.

*Bounty

Eliminate fake Russian Bounty reports.

Eliminate Democrat judges on courts.

Eliminate Nancy. Eliminate Chuck.

Eliminate Fauci and Birx. They both suck.

Eliminate foreigners crossing our borders.

Eliminate sons. (But keep the daughters.)

Eliminate late night TV “comedians”.

Eliminate wives not born Slovenian.

Eliminate Times, eliminate WaPo.

Eliminate all of the FAKE NEWS Gestapo.

Eliminate alphabets that don’t start with “T”,

but please, please, please, don’t eliminate me.

№ 629: Movie Pitch

FANTASYLAND (July 1)

Here's this idea for a new Disney flick.

It’s got a princess. It can be made quick.

Her dad, the king, has always been nuts.

Two weak evil brothers — audience loves hating their guts.

Maybe a semi-legitimate sister

and baby hubby who dares not resist her.

Then something happens — you know, movie stuff —

and daddy’s deposed, but not quick enough

and evil “Uncle” — did I mention him? —

ascends the throne. Turns out he’s rotten.

Worse than her dad, worse than both brothers.

Seems like he’s had too few grandmothers.

Then more of the usual Hollywood stuff.

A perfect project for Hillary Duff!

It could be a musical. Like I said all along.

Hilly could write (at least) one of the songs.

Maybe it's a live-action cartoon:

Princess Ivanka! Go see it soon!