No. 294.1: EXTRA! A Limited Time Opportunity

WaPo: Star GOP attorney Theodore B. Olson declines offer to join Trump legal team (Paywall)

NYT: Ex-Playboy Model Karen McDougal Sues to Break Silence on Trump (Paywall)

LATimes: The last male northern white rhino has died, spelling probable extinction for the species (Paywall)

WSJ: Trump’s Stormy History: The Seven-Year Battle Between the President and the Porn Star

 (Paywall)

Oh Donnie, oh Donnie

why can't you see

it's nearing time

to cop a plea.

Resign in disgrace

leaving God's servant,

Pence, in your place.

Here is the deal,

no need ot appeal:

Pence will go on

to grant your pardon.

If you think this unfair

it is much less crueler

than leaving you to

the mercy of Mueller

who in unearthing

the depth of your crime

has got you looking at

years of hard time.

Yes, “Club Fed” would

treat you gently

but it is a penitentiary.

I hear from a source,

there is no golf course.

No gilded suites,

no banging hot honeys

between golden sheets.

Furthermore — THIS IS NOT A JOKE! —

there's NO BUTTON to summon

unending Big Macs and Diet Cokes,

let alone a button for when you're

in the mood for a nuclear war.

Don't look at it as though

you've been defeated.

While you can, GO!

This offer may not be repeated.

No. 272.1: EXTRA! Some Questions For RNC Leadership

GOP,
how can you
continue to be

so disconcerty?
Did your mom never say,

“If you swim in the muck

you’re gonna get dirty.”?

Did you think you’d end

your electoral slump

by holding your noses

and partnering Trump?

He’s from New York —

worse even from Queens.

Now, I am no genius

but I know what that means.

And worse yet

he did construction.

Which in NY and NJ

equals corruption.

(This includes Jared

and Chris Christie who

locked Jared’s dad up

for a year. Or was it two?)

The porn queen thing?

I cannot surmise

that this could have come

as a total surprise.

And, this just in,
the Playboy chick
who he offered to pay
for one or two tricks.
Talk about sick.

Do I hear you say,

“This babe's not reliable”?

If it comes to that

neither's your Bible

which is merely myth

you're comfortable with.

And now more excitement:

the Russia indictment.

If it is not collusion

it bespeaks confusion

among unwitting dimwits

in Trump's inner orbit.

(News is breaking so fast

I cannot absorb it!)

You were not fussy

'bout Trump's grabbing pussy.

BUT Huckabee Sanders

as his lying hussy!

THAT crosses a line

that’s not even fine.

This minister’s daughter

sloshing dirty bathwater!?
Talk about leading
lambs to the slaughter.

I am not distorting

herewith reporting

that Jesus, your guy,

nowhere speaks of deporting.

The erection of walls

that break families
would be anomalies

in all his homilies.

So, GOP Christians

get real. On the level:

do you actually think

you can dance with the devil?

Yeah, right! Sure.

God works in strange ways.

And maybe we are at

The End Of Days.

BUT IF WE ARE NOT

(or if we are)

your embrace of Trump

is more than bizarre.

To reach your goals

you’ve sold your souls.

I doubt even the God

who you claim is living

could manage to be

all THAT forgiving.