THE BEAST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS (April 6) —
JARED IS a super hero.
He gave us Middle East peace.
Any ability he doesn't “own”,
you may be sure he can borrow or lease.
Remember how he solved infrastructure
and never dirtied his hands?
How he simplified government structure,
doing away with all legal demands?
Jared rules the Department of Justice,
though he is not a lawyer.
Jared can stick his nose anywhere
because he married the boss's daughter.
Jared fixed the NAFTA imbalance,
so now trade with Mexico's fair.
(Even though nothing much changed,
but, happily, Donnie remains unaware.)
Jared (totally) froze Christie out
of the administration
to which all America applauded as one
so show their appreciation.
Jared is in charge of THE WALL
and overall immigrant policy
even though — how can I put it? —-
his history is rather George Wallacey.
Jared is, by far, Donnie's favorite.
After all, Ivanka's a girl.
To be fair, compared to Eric and Junior,
Jared seems like a pearl.
Jared will cure coronavirus.
This will assure that the Trump empire is
in perfect position for reelection.
(Ignoring US's Greatest Depression.)
Jared is brilliant, forthright, and brave.
What might he accomplish once he starts to shave?