Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts

Friday, November 9, 2018

№ 462: Natural Socks Fetish Thereto

There are few things in life
“fresh out-of-the-box”
that offer more pleasure
than a pair of new socks.
I mean “brandy-new”
not just freshly washed,
with fibers all springy.
I mean. . .“Golly, gosh!”
Cotton or woolen,
your feet'll be smilin'.

(Unless, of course,
your new socks are nylon
or some other synthetic
just as pathetic.)

Friday, July 27, 2018

№ 387: Happiness Is (Donald Trump edition)

(with apologies to Clark Gesner)



(Email subscribers click here.)

Happiness is wheeling and dealing
And sometimes stealing
Committing a crime
Happiness is ignoring truth
Getting laid for the ten billionth time
Happiness is telling lies to all my fans
And happiness is holding Putin's hand
Happiness is two dozen Big Macs
Drinking ten Cokes
Being a god
Happiness is lying on FOX
Having more Big Macs
Shooting my wad
Happiness is always having my gorgeous tan
And happiness is standing with the Klan
Happiness is morning and evening
Daytime and night TV
For happiness is anything and everything at all
That features me
Happiness is picturing daughter
In a bikini
Maybe a thong
Happiness is putting my name on lots of things
And happiness is eating chicken wings
Happiness is morning and evening
Daytime and night TV
For happiness is anything and everything at all
That features me

You're a bad man, Donald Trump

Bonus track:



(Email subscribers click here.)

Thursday, September 21, 2017

No. CLX: Wither We Ghost

Guardian: Were we happier in the stone age?


...From the viewpoint of individual happiness, the "agricultural revolution" was, in the words of the scientist Jared Diamond, "the worst mistake in the history of the human race".

...Evolution has no interest in happiness per se: it is interested only in survival and reproduction...Evolution makes sure that no matter what we achieve, we remain dissatisfied, forever grasping for more.

For two thousand centuries (current best guess)
we hunted and gathered with minimum stress.
We thrived. Some did. (Well, more or less.)

We settled down. We started farming.
Turning wolves into to dogs, I suppose, was thought charming.
Chopping trees, draining bogs we start global warming.

At most, we've been “civilized” (maybe) twelve thousand years.
Our numbers have grown. (Along with our fears.)
Have we advanced? Are we more in arrears?

“Civilization”, I guess, has made a mess.
We created a rat race to pursue happiness
and thus far we've not had that much success.

Some say “compete”, others say “share”.
And then they argue about which is fair.
Forget happiness. Let us despair.

If what we're pursuin'
leads to our ruin,
it 's all our own doin'.

See also: New Yorker: The Case Against Civilization


...the agricultural revolution was, for most of the people living through it, a disaster. The fossil record shows that life for agriculturalists was harder than it had been for hunter-gatherers. Their bones show evidence of dietary stress: they were shorter, they were sicker, their mortality rates were higher. Living in close proximity to domesticated animals led to diseases that crossed the species barrier, wreaking havoc in the densely settled communities....Jared Diamond called the Neolithic Revolution “the worst mistake in human history.” The startling thing about this claim is that, among historians of the era, it isn’t very controversial.