№ 882: Deep, Deep, DEEP Red State Plan

IF WISHES WERE HORSES (June 18) —

The founding fathers never did say

one-man-one-vote is the answer.

They'd say, were they with us today,

“Democracy's proved a disaster.”

The rich and well-born, Hamilton swore

contrary to Lin-Manuel Miranda,

are best equipped to sing the score,

counterpointing Jefferson's vox pop propaganda.

Even Red Thom was not really lefty.

He never said, “Property's theft.” He

never envisioned expanding the franchise.

All of the founders thought that unwise.

People — the mobs, the ignorant slobs —

haven't a clue. (AND they're needy!)

Also they're poor and reek of manure.

They vote . . . things get exceedingly seedy.

There are so many of them.

Masses and masses.

Brown, black, yellow, red. 

(Some even WHITE!)

Thick as molasses.

Still conquer we will with shrill Donnie our shill,

until we're a true Christian Nation.

Then, with Pence in his place we will say grace,

and send Donnie away on a dis-served “vacation”.

№ 870: Chicxulub II (local impact)

WORLD'S END (June 2) —

On Wall Street today, the DOW advanced

despite the meteor that destroyed France,

the low countries, Denmark, and Germany,

somewhat disrupting the EU economy.

Sweden and Switzerland said that, as neutrals,

it was their wish to do something useful.

And in the Kremlin, Putin smiled ruefully

saying that Russia would always act “fruitfully”.

In China, Xi said, quoting Mao,

“Europe never mattered that much anyhow.”

The rest of East Asia offered advice

on how many survivors could subsist on rice.

Bangladesh, India, and Pakistan

proposed a joint camel aid caravan.

No one in Africa, from north to south,

paid any heed because of the drought.

In Latin America there were revolutions

but no halt to deforesting or to pollution.

In the Mid East there was a brief pause,

then they went back to their forever wars.

Canadians offered their “deepest sympathy”

and asked what the Queen would take with her tea.

The rest of the world could not care or bother,

concerned with the stuff they do to each other. 

While in DC, Trump remained aloof,

arms crossed, frowning, demanding proof,

tweeting, “I think it is all just a plot

to make me look bad.” (He says that a lot.)

№ 858: Corona Conspiracy — the plane truth?

Comac C919 — Wikipedia

The Comac C919 is a narrow-body twinjet airliner developed by Chinese aerospace manufacturer Comac....Its first commercial deliveries are expected in 2021...It is intended to compete primarily with the Boeing 737 MAX and Airbus A320neo.

CONSPIRACY CENTRAL  (May 17) —

A FOX NEWS EXCLUSIVE!

C919 — Wikipedia. Nose cone virus — Harvard Health.

Co-VID? Co-MAC?

Gotta be one and the same!

Here @FOX we see plots, a lot!

This is NOT a conspiracy “theory”.

Clearly, Obama's DEEP STATE is to blame

for this China campaign to sell planes.

Increase Boeing's crashes, Airbus's collapse —

these wily Chinamen, these slanty-eyed chaps!

To dominate plane sales all ’round the world.

(To make men wear pigtails so we look like girls!)

We can't be too careful, we can never relax.

WHAT IF . . . they plant veggies in Donnie's snacks!

His meat intake decreased, his giant brain boggles.

He tries to walk, he waddles and wobbles.

Babbling garbled tweets through the night,

he says stupid stuff . . . oh, wait. That's right . . .

That's WHO HE IS. That's WHAT HE DOES.

That's why WE LOVE HIM. It is because

his discordant discourse makes us feel GREAT.

And when we feel great, we feel free to hate.

Anyone. Anywhere. Any time. THAT'S the plan.

To reclaim what it is to be an AMERICAN.

Free to believe whatever we choose.

Even la merde “dox” of FOX NEWS

No. 307.1: EXTRA! “Q” And A: Inane And/Or Insane

When you think about what we're going through

(even before the advent of anonymous “Q”),

you might think on Maple Street the monsters are due.

As a matter of fact, that is simply untrue.

As Dick Nixon might say, “Let me be perfectly clear.

The monsters are not due, the monsters are here.”

Bonus: NYT: The Conspiracy Theory That Says Trump Is a Genius (Paywall)