Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

№ 694: Behind The Candid Eight Balls

HAPPYTHOUGHTS (September 30)

Should we insist on criminal candidates
with rap sheets “long as your arm”?
It would be quicker and eliminate bickering
when, with time, we find they do harm.
Knowing they're crooks right from the get-go
might, at last, require us to let go
of illusions about “our side's” morality,
or force us to face the sad reality
that opportunistic politicians presume impunity,
assuming they have been granted immunity.
In fact, few give a rap about the community.

Whether first's last or last is first,
winners and losers are equally worst.
Perhaps that is why all life is cursed?

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

№ 604: Closing Argument (a stump speech)

CAMPAIGN, May 27

There is but one way
for us to proceed.
Do it my way.
We will succeed.

I tell you the truth,
citing the facts.
All of the rest?
Political hacks.

I’m for the people,
not the “elites”,
not lazy slackers,
liars and cheats.

We are the good guys,
honest and just.
I am on your side,
in us we trust.

The solution is simple.
You and I know it.
Misfits and nitwits
of course oppose it.

You know, my friends,
what I represent.
My opponents
are incompetent.

My program is detailed,
completely thought out,
cost- and pain-free,
without a doubt.

As ye sow,
ye so shall reap.
So vote for me.
Then go back to sleep.

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

№ 544: The Real World

Politics is a most thankless job.
Both “winners” and “losers”
agree, “We wuz robbed!”
Though many people
think this confusing,
there's not much diff
'twixt winning and losing.
Set aside your giddy euphoria.
Win or lose sic transit gloria.

Monday, November 19, 2018

№ 468: Family Resemblance


Encyclopædia Britanica: The Oldest Human Ancestor

Jian Han, Northwest University, China

. . .the creatures were bilaterally symmetrical with a body dominated by a single large opening that was probably used for both eating and excreting waste. . .

Howdy there, great-great-great-great. . .grandmaw (grandpaw?).
We have evolved. Excuse our chutzpah.
Can't say where-when-why-how this came to pass,
but some separate their mouth from their ass.
Others continue your ancient tradition.
They make up the species H. politician.

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

№ 324: When We Disagree

My side is right.
Your side is wrong.
And I suspect you
knew that all along.

Oh sure, you cite reasons
for your “mistaken” belief,
but you know these “reasons”
are a fig leaf.

Your tortuous thinking
just makes me scoff.
Therefore, let me ask,
“Who's paying you off?”

You have to know better,
deep down inside.
Unless you are stupid. . .
or your brain's fried.

If we're being truthful
you have to agree,
all the best people
agree with me.

Now I want to be fair.
I don't want to condemn,
but I'm starting to think
you're one of THEM!

And if you're THEM,
you devil weevil,
how could I have missed all these years
you're pure evil?

     *   *   *   *
UPDATE to a story we covered June 2, 2017
No. LXXVIII: Terminal Experiment (withdrawal from Paris Climate Accord)

Thursday, December 28, 2017

No. 236: The Universal Political Credo

The idea of win-win
is a ruse.
The truth is
when you win, 
I lose.
I choose 
winning — by any means!
Given my superior genes,
even with “fair play”,
I would win anyway,
but cheating enhances,
my chances.