Showing posts with label NFL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NFL. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

№ 349.2: EXTRA! Fumble In The End Zone

USA Today: Man takes knee during national anthem at Donald Trump's White House ceremony

WASHINGTON -- Instead of welcoming the Philadelphia Eagles to the White House on Tuesday, President Donald Trump held an event to celebrate America and play the national anthem.

And, according to video and a photo posted to social media, at least one of the attendees at that celebration decided to take a knee.


Ah yes, I remember it well
how Donald destroyed the USFL*.
Now that little pig from that little league
wants to take down the whole NFL.
Though NFL owners aid and abet him,
with billions at stake I doubt that they'll let him.
___________
*In 1985, the USFL voted to move from a spring to a fall schedule in 1986 to compete directly with the NFL. This was done at the urging of New Jersey Generals majority owner Donald Trump and a handful of other owners as a way to force a merger between the leagues. As part of this strategy, the USFL filed an anti-trust lawsuit against the National Football League in 1986, and a jury ruled that the NFL had violated anti-monopoly laws. However, in a victory in name only, the USFL was awarded a judgment of just $1, which under anti-trust laws, was tripled to $3. This court decision effectively ended the USFL's existence. The league never played the 1986 season, and by the time it folded, it had lost over US$163 million. — Wikipedia

Monday, October 9, 2017

No. CLXXV: Pence Follows Orders

“I left today’s Colts game because @POTUS and I will not dignify any event that disrespects our soldiers, our Flag, or our National Anthem.” — NYT: Trump Tells Pence to Leave N.F.L. Game as Players Kneel During Anthem (Paywall)
October 9, 2017

Dear NFL,

Please excuse my VP
who I told to flee
should he see
any player “taking a knee”.
I ordered Mike Pence
to maintain our pretense
this is NOT about 
lack of equality —
which actually
is fine by me.
I insist he persist
in the obvious lie
what these players object to
to mom's apply pie,
the Flag, Law and Order,
our wives and our daughters.
Our military!
They won't stand for our Anthem?
Believe me...I'll throw a tantrum.

Sincerely,
The President,

Sunday, October 1, 2017

No. CLXVIII: The Week In Rear View

Private flights: nice.
But there's a price.
Price was wrong.
And so...so long.

Monday, September 25
I propose one Korea with you in charge
with gas SUV's in every garage.

billions and trillions
that would be wasted
keeping lower
(and middle)
class riff-raff alive


Tuesday, September 26
anyone silently “taking a knee”
is taking too great a liberty


Wednesday, September 27
No. CLXV.i: EXTRA!: 1984 (Again)

There is no tellin'
just how Orwellian
Resident Lump is gonna act.


Thursday, September 28
No. CLXVI: Memo To Bernie, Rand, et. al
.For reasons unfathomable,
things are as they are.

Friday, September 29
No. CLXVII: Gimme That (VERY) Ol' Time Religion

the multiple gods
our ancestors so long agreed on



Follow (occasional) breaking coverage on Twitter @tcementco.

Please contribute to Puerto Rico hurricane relief.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

No. CLXIV: NFL Today


By now, we know the routine. When Mr. Trump is flailing, he creates a battle between himself and a celebrity – a tempest in a teapot to divert attention from, say, the literal tempest that nearly swallowed Puerto Rico, and his dereliction of duty in addressing it. In the past, Mr. Trump has attacked Mika Brzezinski, Meryl Streep and others to try to change the subject from catastrophes he either created or failed to remedy.

Donald's reaction
is a distraction
disguising his flailing
faction's inaction

putrefaction he is
this “man of action”
add subtraction
end the transaction

fine people” defend
vile traitors' statues
marching with Nazis while
screaming “Sieg heil”

but anyone silently “taking a knee” 
is taking too great a liberty
and therefore must bid football adieu
PHEW

show me I'm wrong
I'll print a retraction
until then
Aux armes citoyens