№ 782: A New Christian Prayer (heaven on Earth, ripped from the deadlines)

HOLY APPROPRIATE (January 30)

Let us now pray. Jesus, inspire us.

Please give the Dems coronavirus.

Strike them down dead, dispatch them to hell

along with the Muslims. Hispanics as well.

And also the Mormons. (For Romney's Trump tactics.)

Plus dopey Pope Francis and LIB-ER-EL Catholics.

If you choose to spare Jews, please send them elsewhere.

Eretz Israel instead of near here.

As for all the others who we can't tell apart,

if you “disappear” them, it would be a start

at making the world one White Christian nation

for north Europeans. (With no taxation.)

If you could do this it would be so nice.

We'd have no need for Paradise

We could live on — on Earth! — forever.

Foregoing death. AND heaven. Whatever.

№ 674: Exorcising Religious Freedom

Harry Potter books removed from Catholic school ‘on exorcists’ advice’

Pastor at St Edward junior school in Nashville says JK Rowling’s use of ‘actual spells’ risks conjuring evil spirits

YOUCAN'TMAKETHISSTUFFUP, TN (September 2)

COULD a book by Ms. Rowling persuade

God-fearing people to go on Crusade?

To burn heretics alive at the stake?

To maim and torture? All for God's sake!

Why, I must ask, do all religions

sit on a park bench and poison the pigeons?

Why, at THIS time, do I find bewilderin'

Catholic concern for the welfare of children?

№ 607.3: EXTRA! Untoward Christian Soldier

Rhode Island bishop sorry for saying Pride events ‘harmful for children’
Prelate: LBGTQ month ‘contrary to Catholic faith and morals’
Pride organiser: ‘Jesus never said a word about homosexuality’ 

The Catholic bishop of Providence, Rhode Island has apologized for saying Pride month events in support of LGBTQ rights were “especially harmful for children”, saying he did not mean to cause offense.

NEW ROME, June 2

Catholic bishops are ignorant bigots.
Excuse me, I mean no offense.
Regardless of that they may be “fine people”
as someone could say in their defense.

Why, if I may,
ask, by the way,
should we care today
what bishops say?