№ 561: Pardons From Rose Garden (part the first?)

THE SWAMP, March 27

I’m fine with Mike Flynn — good guy, I like him.

His lying to Pence? I call that a whim.

Paul Manafort I would never sell short,

he was, in some ways, my closest cohort.

And dear Roger Stone, why need he atone?

With nothing admitted, he must be acquitted,

if a jury can't see it, I will decree it.

(Memo to Stone: Man, we're okay, relax.

But, please, not my face tattooed on your back

unless you are fixin’ to cover up Nixon’s —

it's not Dickie's face, it's more I need my space.)

No. 227.3: EXTRA! I Beg Your Pardon Is This The White House Rose Garden?

WASHINGTON — The House Intelligence Committee is racing to complete its investigation of Russia’s interference in the 2016 presidential election. . . .

“I feel no need to apologize for concluding an investigation,” said Representative Trey Gowdy of South Carolina, one of the Republicans leading the investigation.

— NYT: House Intelligence Panel Is Rushing to Complete Russia Probe (Paywall)

The evidence (so far) shows everything's swell,

so we're invoking don't-ask-don't tell

and ending our inquiry quick

before we're forced to deploy Jedi mind trick

of screaming “Benghazi!” and “What about Hillary!?

Have you all forgotten her culpability?

Remember when we spent many a penny

looking for proof and there wasn't any?”

On second thought. . .

If Flynn and the rest act all penitential,

they can receive pardons presidential.

Our President will excuse his own and their blame.

He does so love signing his name.

[12/17/2017, 10:12 am: number connected]
[12/18/2017, 11:02 am: title corrected]
[12/19/2017, 4:23 pm: title corredted]

No. 217.8: EXTRA! This Call May Be Recorded For Quality Control And Training Porpoises

Charges went off. Smoke went up.

But the Pontiac Silverdome didn't come down.

— NPR: The Boom Was A Bust: Pontiac Silverdome Blows Up, Doesn't Come Down

Some have suggested I do a “pome”

comparing Trump to the Silverdome,

which did not implode

when they tried to explode it.

It failed to collapse

due to wiring mishaps.

Here's hoping there was no sim'lar disorder

with “Mic” Flynn's clandestine recorder.

No. 217.3: EXTRA! A Trump Midnight Musing

Mueller’s becoming a regular gremlin.

I’d rather we sort this all out in the Kremlin.

Please, someone, slip Flynn a Mickey Finn

and rendition him to Vladimir Putin.

I'm not at a loss, I just don't give a toss

so I'm passing this buck up to the boss.