№ 555: My Budget Buy The Иumbers (by Donald J. Trump, Genius)

Trump Budget Relies on Up to $1.2 Trillion in Potentially Phantom Revenues

Up to $390 billion comes from taxes created by the Affordable Care Act, which president wants to repeal

Trump’s budget blueprint for the next decade relies on up to $1.2 trillion in revenue that might not materialize.

The budget assumes the government will collect as much as that amount between 2020 and 2029 from taxes the administration opposes or from scheduled tax increases that are likely to draw strong business opposition. The $1.2 trillion estimate comes from the Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget, an independent bipartisan nonprofit.

The numbers don’t add up.

As even I can see.

But, of course, such small details

don't mean a thing to me.

I am, you know, a bankrupt.
I corrupt democracy.

Vlad made it my feudal fief.
(Am I not beyond belief?)

I'm Donald Trump. I eat Big Macs.

I give Liberals heart attacks.

If the Dems get in my way,

“Release the Kraken,” I will say.
I'm looking for the least excuse
to turn my (WELL-ARMED) legions loose.

I can start a civil war.

This stupid job is such a bore,
Boring stuff I do not need.
(Like that crap I “need” to read
that gets me feeling apoplectic.)
Some folks tell me I'm dyslexic.
But that's FAKE NEWS I have to say.
Why won't the Times see things my way?
Might stop them failing then because
that's what Rupert's Journal does.

No. 252.2: EXTRA! Cream Puffs At Dewdrop Cabal

(with apologies to Glenn Frey, J.D. Souther, Don Henley and Jackson Browne)

[Email subscribers see blog for music and Eagles original lyrics.]

They were Ryan, Trump, McConnell,
scheming liars without shame.
Slashing regs and cutting taxes,
corporations stand to gain.

“Ayn Randy” Ryan knew it was God's will
he was picked to fix the budget bill.
So “Atlas Mugged” was he that he knew that
her nonsense notion was as good as fact.

Better keep on movin', Speaker Ryan,
till your bad heart sets you free.
Exercise and careful living
can't change genetic destiny.

With Congress under GOP control,
they was waitin' for the White House, 
to reach their final goal.
Someone unencumbered by a soul,
not McCain and, please, not Romney, 
but someone who loved gold.
McConnell-Ryan met the Donald,
grabbin' pussy and oozin' slime.
They smiled and said, “You're perfect.”
And so we left democracy behind.