№ 556: High Nunes (shoots foot at the YouTube Corral?)

Goats, cows and Devin Nunes' mom: how a Republican's Twitter lawsuit backfired

In the lawsuit against Twitter and a handful of users, the California Republican claims to be the victim of vicious internet trolls....

WASHINGTON, March 20
(with apologies to Sir John Suckling)

Why so pale and wan, dear Devin?

Prithee, why so pale?

Pretty please, do not tell me

thy ego is so frail.

Prithee, why so pale?

Why thy silly suit, dear Devin?

Prithee, why thy suit?

Being friend to Murdoch's FOX,

thou know'st truth is moot.

Prithee, why thy suit?

Knock it off, thou gormless fool,

thou sniveling Trump toady,

thou dumb-ass bigot, alt-right tool,

thou sad Wile E. Coyote.

If thou construe that insult be,

I invite thee: come sue me.

№ 332: Hocus Focus What Spells Tell Us

Email subscribers click here. (Oh, and you may want to turn volume down.)

Son of Satan

child of God

Trump or Pence

which gets a nod

Mike and Donald

Don and Michael

hereby apply

carbon cycle

evil good

and good evil

bubble double

gold boll weevil

lard of Christie

tongue on Newt

make Rudy's failing
mind acute

Michael Cohen

Kellyanne

broil a

vegetarian
Kilauea 
mass eruption
pales compared to
Trump corruption

Steve Mnuchin

Mike Pompeo

Devin Nunes

trial delay oh

when shall Donald eat again

when Mueller's quest has proved in vain

Big Macs tacos lots and lots

Macbeth too you know was Scots

No. 264: The Craven (TRUMP goes forth)

(with continuing apologies to Edgar Allan Poe and, I suppose, poetry lovers everywhere)

Previously on “The Craven” (Nos. 257.1, 258, 260)

Once upon a midnight tweeting. . .
“It's Robert Mueller!”
Then through the door a horde did burst. . .
“Documents!” quoth I, “Indeed!”. . .

My lawyer told me, “Say no more,”. . .

Those who know me live to serve me.


Today's episode:

  “The time was nigh,” thought I, “Go for broke!”, popping the top of my Diet Coke^®.
Upon the wall I saw a TIME^® cover, the one where they call me “The Perfect Lover”.

  My spirits raised, my mind unfazed, re-energized by Coke^® and praise, I gazed upon,

   Coke^® in hand, my present favorite of the TRUMP brand, a ray of Hope who

is quick with fixes and never — EV-ER! — my notion nixes, Hope Hicks is

a  woman, untutored in politics, who knows and shows old “pros” new tricks.

  I stood transfixed.

  “Hopefully,” began she, “we distribute dilution! Distracting remnants of thinking faction,

Getting facts shunned, gaining traction, calling our team into action, 'coz they can't get no satisfaction,

  Thinking, now, inside the box, with FOX acting as our proxy, spewing out their toxic moxie,

  Murdoch, Putin (sure as shootin') Mueller's so-called facts refutin', disputatious,

IN YOUR FACES!, White, alt-Right marching racists reproclaiming rightful places.

(I know they're baboon Looney Tunes. . .but. . .) Then, of course, there's Devin Nunes.”

  I pondered future honeymoons.

[to be continued?]

No. 263: Old Devil Nunes (a poke in the eye)

(with apologies to Burton Lane and E. Y. Harburg)

[For the sake of rhyme, Representave Nunes name rhymes with goons, prunes, baboons, impugns, lampoons, maroons, racoons, saloons, spitoons, teaspoons, typhoons, pantaloons, Microsoft Zunes. Poetic License may be examined at our offices.]

(Email subscribers: to hear the tune go to blog by clicking on title above.)

I'm hunting for conspiracy

here in our democracy

which I and I alone can see

Yes, I'm old Devil Nunes

a past master of lies

And, yes, old Devil Nunes pokes your eye

The FBI better not try

to think they'll outwit me

with the alt-right

spoilin' to fight

the Feds can not git me

Truth I fiddle-faddle

I'm hallucinating wide and high

seein' stuff in my mind's eye

conspiracy's my battle cry

GOP Looney Tunes

we're platoons of poltroons

And, yes, old Devil Nunes pokes your eye

Just when you think

you've seen the worst

Old Devil Nunes'

thumb's in your eye

I'm so perverse

(Repeat)

No. 262.1: EXTRA! Nunes Memo (Update)

President Trump approved release Friday of a GOP memo alleging surveillance abuses by the FBI, intensifying a fight between the White House and Republican lawmakers, on one side, and the nation’s top law enforcement agency over whether the origins of a probe into Russian interference in the 2016 election were tainted by political bias.
— WaPo: President approves release of GOP memo criticizing FBI surveillance (Paywall)

I SPY

with my beady eye

a cunning plot

by the FBI

as, shades of
“Jaye” Edgar Hoover,
they try to apply

the Heimlich maneuver

to dislodge the lump,

Donald J. Trump.

As is his wont,

Donald is claiming

it proves him innosont.

Only it don't.

[updated 2/3/2018 2:30 pm]