№ 771: Trump, Whether Vane

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DENIAL IN WINTER (January 15)

(with apologies to Carly Simon)

I won ov-er the Party

(NOT part of some Putin plot!)

Bew-t-ful hair exquisitely brushed,

my skin tinted apricot

With one eye on the mirror

(am I great, or what?)

And all the girls wish I'd ask them to “date me”

ask them to “date me”, but

I’m not vain
It's just that everything is about me

I’m not vain,

I  know the song is always about me

So true!

So true!

That one I had years ago

when she still pretended “naive”

I told her she had a real pretty pair

and whichever wife I’d leave

But you know I lied, of course,

it’s my pedigree

I may be scum, but these are such dumb broads,

such God-damn dumb broads, but

I’m not vain

I know the song is always about me

I’m not vain,

I just know ALL songs are always about me

So true!

So true!
So true!

I may be scum, but these are such dumb broads,

such fuck-ing dumb broads, but

I’m not vain

I know the song is always about me

I’m not vain,

I just know ALL songs are always about me

So true!

So true!

When I am Em-per-or I’ll wear a toga

to hide my enormous butt

And if I play golf wearing a “dress” 

then I can cheat when I putt

I’m in the limelight all the time

but when I’m not, I’m with
some Russian guy

or the wife of a close friend,

wife of a close friend, but

I’m not vain

I just know everything is about me

I’m not vain,

I just know each and every song is about me

So true!

So true!

So true!

I’m not vain,

I just know each and every song is about me

I’m not vain,

I just know each and every song is about me
I’m not vain. . .

№ 732.2: EXTRA! May The Fore Be With You

Trump golf cart rentals have now cost US taxpayers more than half a million dollars

The president spends a lot of time on the links, almost exclusively at his own properties. At the end of October, Trump made his 224th visit to one of his 17 golf courses since assuming office three years ago. On each outing, the Secret Service must follow. And with their golf carts comes a big bill for the American public.

Before he was elected, Trump regularly excoriated former US president Barack Obama for golfing.

Can you believe that,with all of the problems and difficulties facing the U.S., President Obama spent the day playing golf.Worse than Carter

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 14, 2014

However, Obama played 333 rounds of golf during his 8-year tenure as president—roughly 1,665 hours—or about 3% of his total time in office. Roughly 61% of his outings took place at golf courses owned and operated by the US military. In a little less than three years, Trump has so far spent nearly 2,200 hours golfing, or roughly 20% of his time in office. He has played all but two rounds at his own private clubs, according to Craig Holman, a government affairs lobbyist at Public Citizen, a DC watchdog group.

 FORE MORE YEARS (November 23)

I make up the rules as I go along.

I got no time to follow 'em.

Legal requirements, laws and that stuff

only apply if you swallow 'em.

Which Roy Cohn and my father (Darth Vader)

taught me never to do.

So I don't and I won't, not now and not later.

(Bring me a Coke from the refrigerator!)

I am bold, I broke the mold,

I am THE ONE who was foretold.

I like to play golf, I like yelling, “FORE!”

And what is more, I cheat on my score,

as I do on my wives (who lead comfortable lives).

Though they may suffer, they thrive — well, survive.

They sign agreements to keep their mouth shut 

and get a great payoff. (Not bad for a slut.)

Maybe I'm “naughty”, maybe I'm “snotty”.
Maybe some say I'm just like John Gotti.
I SAY: in the end there's no crime or sin,
if you get away and pull out a win.

№ 699: Is This Your Back I See Before Me? (my mistake, it's just my knife)

US to let Turkish forces move into Syria, dumping Kurdish allies

White House reveals policy shift following conversation between Trump and Erdoğan

The White House has given the green light to a Turkish offensive into northern Syria, moving US forces out of the area in an abrupt foreign policy change that will in effect abandon the Kurds, Washington’s longtime military partner.

BUTWHATHAVETHEYDONELATELYFORDONNIE (October 7)

Though there are more Kurds* than Norwegians plus Dutch,

the Kurds have never mattered that much.

So what does it matter whether you're heard,

Donnie declared, “To hell with the Kurds!”?

Kurds, a minority, wherever they are,

are ever ready for slaughter.

They yearn for a “Kurdistan”, but that doesn't matter:

it isn't a country, it hasn't border.

That said, Kurds, historically, are

fierce fighters and excellent allies.

Realists, too. When they're betrayed,

it never is a total surprise.

(That also applies to Donnie's wives.)

Betrayal is how Donnie does business.
It's his way of “keeping it real”.

Your back, his knife is how he does life.

A cut to the heart is his art of the deal.

[updated 10/9/2019, 1:55 pm]

——————————

*After World War One and the defeat of the Ottoman Empire, the victorious Western allies made provision for a Kurdish state in the 1920 Treaty of Sevres. However, that promise was nullified three years later, when the Treaty of Lausanne set the boundaries of modern Turkey and made no such provision, leaving Kurds with minority status in their respective countries. This fact has led to numerous genocides and rebellions, along with the current ongoing armed guerrilla conflicts in Turkey, Iran, and Syria / Rojava. Although Kurds are the majority population in the autonomous region of Iraqi Kurdistan, because of their statelessness, Kurdish nationalist movements continue to pursue greater cultural rights, autonomy, and independence throughout Greater Kurdistan. — Wikipedia

№ 671: Family Resemblance?

‘Not nice!’: Trump denies rumors of bedbugs at resort he's promoting for G7

Rumors seem to stem from a 2016 lawsuit alleging an infestation at Trump National Doral brought by New Jersey insurance executive 

HOUSEKEEPING (August 28)

(with apologies to Jule Styne, Betty Comden and Adolph Green)

Bed bugs aren't creeping
and neither are many other vermin
in Trump Hotels and apartment blocks
and if they are I'll change the locks on them
it's not pleasant keeping
my so many so empty beds
where I myself may play around
whenever whoever's my wife's out of town
no woman I want can dare turn me down
I sleep with whomever I want
sleep with whomever I want

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№ 602: Donald And Donald, Donald And Donald

Trump Walks Out on Pelosi, Schumer

President rules out infrastructure deal while investigations continue; lawmakers of both parties expect legislation to move ahead

WASHINGTON—President Trump said he wouldn’t work with Democrats while investigations of him continue and abruptly ended a meeting with the party’s leaders Wednesday, casting fresh doubt on a divided Washington’s ability to complete big-ticket legislation in the next 18 months.

TRUMPLAND, May 23

Everything I have ever done,
I have done on my own.
Clearly, I don't need anyone.
I'm taking my ball and going home.

When I was a babe, just a newborn,
I said, “Ma, leave me alone!
Filling my diapie is the best fun.
I'm taking my ball and going home!”

Later in school I made my own rules.
I knew what I was doin'.
If some teacher or kid did not like what I did,
I took my ball and went home.

Then as a teen, I might have been mean
due to testosterone.
When some little flirt would not lift her skirt,
I did it myself and went “home”.

I excelled at college sharing the knowledge
for which my big brain is known.
After four years impressing my “peers”,
I took my degree and went home.

There was a war which I found bor-ing!
but I had some spurs on a bone.
My daddy concocted a note with a doctor,
and the draft board told me, “Go home.”

In Manhattan, I built many businesses.
(Daddy Fred gave me a loan.)
I was god-awful — even unlawful —
and felt completely at home.

I did deals to get rich as a son of a bitch
and learned lotsa stuff off Roy Cohn,
who, by the way, taught me to say,
“Do it my way or go home.”

Speaking of Roy, I was not his goy-boy.
In those things he left me alone.
To this very day I say, “He wasn't gay.
And anyway, my balls were my own.”

With every wife, I married for life.
(Unless she turned into a crone.)
When they got old, I heard they were told,
“Mr. Trump is sending you home.”

I lived in a tower, had plenty of power. . .
but I wanted a throne.
Though hesitant, I became president
making the White House my home.

I do not fancy dealing with Nancy
and hate it when Chuck starts to drone.
And both of 'em stall on building my wall,
so I'm taking my ball. . .going home.

There will come the day my gravestone will say,
“He was not a John Gotti clone.
He caused a panic, being Satanic,
'til the devil welcomed him home.”

№ 568: Donald Counting His Blessings

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N.B. At variance with our usual practice, the “lyrics” below are not meant to be — indeed, cannot be — sung to the tune. Intent is to set the mood.

BETWEEN DONALD'S EARS, April 7

I envy everyone who isn't me
because they have me to envy.
What is there to life if life does not test you,
if no one and nothing ever can best you?

I have the best words. And the most bestest money.
I have the best sex. (Ask one of my honeys.)
I have the best lawyers. (Now that Cohen is gone.)
I've had the best wives I could cheat on.

I have the best children. (Except Junior and Eric.)
I have the best followers. (They think I'm hysterical.)
I have the best network, my FOXes and Friends.
(The one in the middle, does she have a boyfriend?)

I eat the the best burgers. I play the best golf.
If I had a reindeer, it would be Rudolph.
(If a reindeer could be Ey-tal-ee-an-ie,
I'd have the best with Rudolph Giuliani.).

I've the best administration ever assembled.
There's never been one that could resemble
my cohort of schemers, liars and freaks,
incompetent relatives, providers of leaks,
these grubby grifters, this fine bunch of crooks
each a backstabber, who'll write a book
saying my White House is one piece of work
calling me an in-CO-herent jerk,
distracted, disorganized, discombobulated,
confused, corrupted, hair corrugated,
only concerned with my orange-y image,
eating junk food, avoiding spinach,
driving the the country to rack and ruin
too Dunning Kruger to know what I'm doing.

That's what your life is if you are me.
Oh, to have someone who I could envy.

№ 402: Truth Trumped

If you do your research,
go through archives,
you'll see I was faithful
to each of my wives,
as well as some
married to other guys.

Faithful, I mean,
when I was with them
because I am that kind.
Doesn't mean always.
No reason it should.
Out of sight, out of mind.

I had to revoke Brennan's security, obviously.
For some reason he would never be nice to me,
helping to sell the SICK illusion
that Russia and Trump did some “collusion”.
“No collusion? Hogwash!”, said he.
This I can not allow.
And even if I did collude —
which I DID NOT! and IT IS NOT A CRIME! —
what's it to him anyhow?

In conclusion, 
collusion and infidelity
can not ever apply to me.
They never could and never will be.
Which would be odd. . .
if I weren't God.

№ 380.1: EXTRA! Donald Trump — A Man Of His Word

He betrayed his first bride

with bride number two

who he also later betrayed.

His present bride

ignores pinups and porn stars.

(I presume she's amply paid.)

Betrayal, with Trump,

is just what he does.

And he does what he does

mainly because of

the very best reasons.

Spring and summer,

winter and fall,

he is a man for all treasons.

He is, let me stress,

nevertheless,

a man whose word is his bond.

Sadly, these bonds are rated as junk

and his word cannot be counted upon.

I would that he would

when he would he wouldn't.

To be truthful and honest

is something he couldn't.

A man of his word.

What else can you say.

What the word is

differs day after day.

No. CXXIV: Born That Way

WSJ: Trump Pushes Bill to Cut Number of Green Cards Issued by Half (Paywall)

Proposal would prioritize high-skilled workers, English speakers and those who are financially stable

So...Donald supports immigration bills,

if they require certain skills

to enter the U.S. Of A.?

Had this been the law in the recent past,

his foreign-born wives would never have passed.

At the end of the day,

say what you will,

being born pretty is not a skill.

No. CX: Trump 101

Donald's “secret” ingredient?

Doing whatever's expedient.

Plus he's unable to recognize

a difference between the truth and his lies.

(It worked in his businesses — AND with his wives!?)

No. LXXXIX: A Failure To Communicate

So Donald says when he shops for wives and/or votes): (Click)

So say voters and wives when they learn what his sweet-talk connotes: (Click)