№ 839.1: EXTRA! Oil Wells Do Trend Well

Oil-Price Crash Deepens, Weighs on Global Markets (Paywall)

U.S. crude benchmark plunges a day after oil prices fell below zero

Email subscribers click here.

(with apologies to Lionel Bart)

QUEL DOMMAGE (April 21) —

We can’t sell this barrel of crude oil

Nowhere to store it, we’re giving it free

Good old Donnie will hand us a bail out

Three cheers for de-mock-ro-cy

It is our oil-o-garchy’s pleasure

whenever things go wrong

we raid the nation’s treasure(y)

same old dance and song

We admit our profligate dealing

destroys the country from sea to sea

still we see no reason to change things

there’s nothing we won’t do

no one we won’t screw

for our prof't-ab-il-it-y

Bonus track

№ 685: Donnie No's Best

Trump plans to revoke a key California environmental power; state officials vow to fight (Paywall)     

WASHINGTON — President Trump is expected Wednesday to revoke a decades-old rule that empowers California to set tougher car emissions standards than those required by the federal government — putting the state and the administration on a path to years of fighting in court.

The move, which has been in the works for much of the last three years, would overturn the foundation for California’s role as an environmental leader in reducing greenhouse gas emissions and improving air quality. By revoking a special waiver the state has relied on for years to set its own standards, the administration will be saying that no state can impose more ambitious pollution controls than those adopted by the federal government.

THESKYISNOTFALLINGANDWHOCARESIFITIS (September 17)

Is Donnie the Chicxulub comet (asteroid?)

reincarnated and now in slow mo?

Devoid of cognition, that outer space visitor 

had a Donnie-like orangy glow

as it dashed through the atmosphere

and crashed in the sea down in Old Mexico.

As Donnie, our ship-of-state gondolier,

steers straight into peril-filled shoals,

we, like the dinosaurs, quickly could disappear,

which is, I guess, how it goes.

Many say Donnie's not a dumb bastard.

Life on this planet was fine. (While it lasted.)

I wish Donnie's followers well.

They will enjoy his hotel in hell.

№ 454: Realpolitik — making tomorrow's problems today

NYT: THE TRAGEDY OF SAUDI ARABIA’S WAR (Paywall)

CHEST HEAVING AND EYES FLUTTERING, the 3-year-old boy lay silently on a hospital bed in the highland town of Hajjah, a bag of bones fighting for breath.

The harshest criticism of the Saudi-led war has focused on the airstrikes that have killed thousands of civilians at weddings, funerals and on school buses, aided by American-supplied bombs and intelligence.

Children are starving?
That's truly tragic!
If we could (somehow) 
fix this by magic,
we would.
IF we could.

BUT. . .if babies die
cuz our ally-pal Saudis
use weapons we sell them
fighting these Houthis —
backed by Iran. . .
IRAN?
You. . .understand. . .

We have this. . .plan
to. . .undo Iran.
Like we did, glory be,
in 1953.
You remember, no doubt,
how that one turned out?
Bad guys o'erthrown,
Shah on the throne?
And then Iran
left the oil co’s alone?

We really do. . .pity
these kiddies’ plight
and hope everything (somehow)
comes out all right.

BUT. . .since they are Muslim,
we note (with regret),
if they grow up,
they could pose a threat.

Due to an editing error, the email version of № 452.3: EXTRA! May We Please Be Excused? contained errors. Click here for corrected text.

No. 322: Game, Set, Match?

Guardian: 'We're doomed': Mayer Hillman on the climate reality no one else will dare mention

Global emissions were static in 2016 but the concentration of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere was confirmed as beyond 400 parts per million, the highest level for at least three million years (when sea levels were up to 20m [more than 65 feet] higher than now). Concentrations can only drop if we emit no carbon dioxide whatsoever, says Hillman. “Even if the world went zero-carbon today that would not save us because we’ve gone past the point of no return.”

Drill, baby, drill!

More fossil fuel!

Earth isn't warming,

and coal is cool.

Climate's not changing.

You know it's not!

And if it is?

Some like it hot.

We NEED our pickups,

our grand SUVs.

If this causes hiccups —

fiddle-dee-dee!

We're doing okay.

There isn't a crisis.

Buy oil today.

(Just not from ISIS.)

Build more airports,

more coal-fired plants,

make jobs, make children.

DON'T be a scaredy-pants.

Think: “The world is my oyster.”

THAT will do the trick.

That is unless shellfish
make you feel sick.

The train's left the station

so shut up and drop it.

No point complaining.

It's too late to stop it.

No. 216: The State Of The State Department Department

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson defended plans to slash his own department's budget Tuesday, arguing Washington will need to spend less on diplomacy as armed conflicts come to an end.

Newsmax — Tillerson: State Dept Budget Can Be Cut As Wars Ending

The State Department budget kerfuffle

is not a reorg or personnel shuffle.

It's a revision.

A redef of mission.

If a foreign state ignores his rebuke,

Donald Trump will not hesitate, he'll launch a nuke.

Should some potentate return the favor,

we will not tolerate their misbehavior.

After global nuclear war,

what would a State Department even be for?

Be too late to negotiate.

No one will need Departments of State.

This may be nuts, 

but it funds our tax cuts.