№ 529.1: EXTRA! Deepen The Art Of Texas

Tiger surprise: weed smokers find big cat in abandoned Houston home

It is legal to own a tiger in Texas if the owner has a wild game permit. But it is illegal to have a tiger in Houston.

In Texas, as y'all might expec',

we think reg-glue-ation's

a pain in the neck.

Therefore we cain't hardly objec'

or think it's outrageous

to keep tiger's in cages

wherever you're roostin'.

(Except in Houston.)

Ain't nobody's business,

no how, no way.

'N tigers is knowd

t' keep Mexies away.

No. 252.2: EXTRA! Cream Puffs At Dewdrop Cabal

(with apologies to Glenn Frey, J.D. Souther, Don Henley and Jackson Browne)

[Email subscribers see blog for music and Eagles original lyrics.]

They were Ryan, Trump, McConnell,
scheming liars without shame.
Slashing regs and cutting taxes,
corporations stand to gain.

“Ayn Randy” Ryan knew it was God's will
he was picked to fix the budget bill.
So “Atlas Mugged” was he that he knew that
her nonsense notion was as good as fact.

Better keep on movin', Speaker Ryan,
till your bad heart sets you free.
Exercise and careful living
can't change genetic destiny.

With Congress under GOP control,
they was waitin' for the White House, 
to reach their final goal.
Someone unencumbered by a soul,
not McCain and, please, not Romney, 
but someone who loved gold.
McConnell-Ryan met the Donald,
grabbin' pussy and oozin' slime.
They smiled and said, “You're perfect.”
And so we left democracy behind.