№ 858: Corona Conspiracy — the plane truth?

Comac C919 — Wikipedia

The Comac C919 is a narrow-body twinjet airliner developed by Chinese aerospace manufacturer Comac....Its first commercial deliveries are expected in 2021...It is intended to compete primarily with the Boeing 737 MAX and Airbus A320neo.

CONSPIRACY CENTRAL  (May 17) —

A FOX NEWS EXCLUSIVE!

C919 — Wikipedia. Nose cone virus — Harvard Health.

Co-VID? Co-MAC?

Gotta be one and the same!

Here @FOX we see plots, a lot!

This is NOT a conspiracy “theory”.

Clearly, Obama's DEEP STATE is to blame

for this China campaign to sell planes.

Increase Boeing's crashes, Airbus's collapse —

these wily Chinamen, these slanty-eyed chaps!

To dominate plane sales all ’round the world.

(To make men wear pigtails so we look like girls!)

We can't be too careful, we can never relax.

WHAT IF . . . they plant veggies in Donnie's snacks!

His meat intake decreased, his giant brain boggles.

He tries to walk, he waddles and wobbles.

Babbling garbled tweets through the night,

he says stupid stuff . . . oh, wait. That's right . . .

That's WHO HE IS. That's WHAT HE DOES.

That's why WE LOVE HIM. It is because

his discordant discourse makes us feel GREAT.

And when we feel great, we feel free to hate.

Anyone. Anywhere. Any time. THAT'S the plan.

To reclaim what it is to be an AMERICAN.

Free to believe whatever we choose.

Even la merde “dox” of FOX NEWS

№ 851: The Skys Are Limited

The Big Park (Paywall)

An economy in lockdown requires far fewer planes and ships, forcing owners to figure out where to store them

Nowhere is the challenge more acute than in aviation. Reeling from travel bans, many airlines have grounded their entire fleets, while most others have cancelled the majority of flights. Collectively, they have dropped tens of millions of seats from their schedules every week . . .

Email subscribers click here.

(with apologies to Lionel Bart) 

  

BLUE SKIES FROWNING (May 6) — 

Who will buy my seven-three-sevens?

Who will save the air industry?

All these planes and nobody needs them

We can't give them away for free

With all the airlines grounded

'cuz everything's locked down,

Airbus and Boeing profits pounded,

their ships have run aground

No one needs a 320neo

then there's Boeing's cat-as-tro-phe

Airlines die when no one will fly them

There's nothing we can do,

plane makers' Waterloo,

because there's no one who will fly

№ 767.1: EXTRA! The End Of Boeing (or when the suits went marching on)

NEWS ANALYSIS

‘I Honestly Don’t Trust Many People at Boeing’: A Broken Culture Exposed

A trove of internal employee communications shows that the aviation giant’s troubles go beyond one poorly designed plane.

Stan Sorscher, a former Boeing engineer who then worked with a union representing company engineers, said priorities had shifted over the past two decades, with profits mattering more than quality.

“Engineers normally just don’t talk that way,” Mr. Sorscher said of the messages. “It’s not the company I knew.”

Email subscribers click here.

EVERY CORNER OFFICE (January 11)

(with apologies to Stephen Sondheim)

That was the plan all along
to build the world's
great-est aer-o-planes
and not to focus of short term gains
That's what you did at Boeing
It's not that nothing went wrong
In engineering
things always do
but we could fix them
because we knew 
that's what you did at Boeing
But then the suits got all pissed
and insisted stock price first
all the time
And they called qual control
rig-mor-ole, my God,
they were slime

The engineers went along
and they cut corners
to save a buck,
and crossed their fingers
and pushed their luck
That was the end of Boeing,
the com-pan-y's swan song
You were a great co, Boeing
Boeing's
gone

№ 653: WSJ Opposes Over Regulation

737 MAX Safety Tests Covering Increasingly Remote Failure Risks

Reviews of grounded Boeing jet are expanding beyond the automated flight-control system behind two crashes

A portion of the ongoing testing and analysis is delving into extremely remote but potentially catastrophic problems. . .

It took one of the pilots [in the Boeing flight simulator] 16 seconds to identify and react to the malfunction, significantly longer than current FAA certification rules and safety guidelines permit. . . if an airline crew confronted such a problem—even though chances of it happening are extremely small—the consequences could be catastrophic.

BUSINESS AS USUAL (August 4)

Come on, be practical,

what are that the odds

that another one's likely to crash?

And if one does

it will likely be

due to a circumstance

beyond Boeing's control.

A poorly-trained foreign pilot's mistake.

Boeing's an icon.

GIVE ME A BREAK!

You really want Boeing,

a truly great firm,

to suffer a stock market crash?

Or to go under

and U.S. investors 

to lose hundreds of bundles,
hard American cash?

To say nothing of jobs.

Poor working slobs

build these technical wonders.

Must investors (and workers)  

be made to pay for a

a series of management blunders?

Management acted in total good faith

rushing this jet to the market.

Carriers loved it mostly because

pilots already knew how to park it

and fly it since it flew the same

as previous planes with this number.

Except it didn't and the software was faulty.

For that you think the firm should go under?

Some days it rains, some days it sunny.

Take this to the bank: Boeing. Makes. Money.

If someone dies because they make a mistake. . .

what can we say? Those are the breaks.

№ 562.3: EXTRA! God And Boeing

How Boeing’s 737 MAX Failed
The plane’s safety systems, and how they were developed, are at the center of the aerospace giant’s unfolding crisis

WISHFUL THINK, March 29

There is no way of knowing
if God worked at Boeing
but, clearly, there are similarities.
Both treat engineering
as a veneering.
to cover up missing mortality.
If you spot a problem
rather than solve it
apply a quick fix
which does not resolve it.
This is why the world's such a hash
and also why a Boeing might crash.

[updated March 30, 2019 2:10 p.m.]
[updated March 30, 2019 11:22 a.m.]
[updated March 30, 2019 11:08 a.m.]
[updated March 29, 2019 11:57 p.m.]