№ 782: A New Christian Prayer (heaven on Earth, ripped from the deadlines)

HOLY APPROPRIATE (January 30)

Let us now pray. Jesus, inspire us.

Please give the Dems coronavirus.

Strike them down dead, dispatch them to hell

along with the Muslims. Hispanics as well.

And also the Mormons. (For Romney's Trump tactics.)

Plus dopey Pope Francis and LIB-ER-EL Catholics.

If you choose to spare Jews, please send them elsewhere.

Eretz Israel instead of near here.

As for all the others who we can't tell apart,

if you “disappear” them, it would be a start

at making the world one White Christian nation

for north Europeans. (With no taxation.)

If you could do this it would be so nice.

We'd have no need for Paradise

We could live on — on Earth! — forever.

Foregoing death. AND heaven. Whatever.

№ 781: Peace In Our Crime

JAREDLAND (January 29)

Jared’s incredible Mid East Peace Plan

is one hundred percent gonna work.

And anyone sayin’ it hasn’t a chance

exposes himself as a jerk.

This plan is based on historical precedent

of two peoples living together.

That Israel will be somewhat more powerful

is not a surprise altogether.

Israel will have total control of the land, the air and the water.

Palestinians will have partial authority over their sons, their wives, and their daughters

on reservations which will be destinations 

for planeloads of American tourists

who will buy native handcrafts and take selfie photographs

with these Palestinian “Indians”

who’ll have Jared to thank

for smallpox-laced blankets
premature death and sense of despair
which Trump's Evangelicals and Bibi's land grabbers
see as Biblically fair.
In their corrupt Gospel
it's the only peace poss'ble.

№ 745.2: EXTRA! Trump Sets His Sights On Antisemitism (or does he?)

Trump’s Executive Order Against College Campuses Is Bad For The Jews

You may feel as I do that college campuses have gotten increasingly — and inexcusably — anti-Semitic in recent years. But this executive order is not “good for the Jews” as the saying goes. That’s because any anti-discrimination order by this particular president is bad for the Jews, for one simple reason: It further identifies us with an anti-democratic administration.

AND FURTHERMORE (December 11)

This policy has a serious flaw.

It prevents criticism of Israel's gun law*.

Israeli law says all guns must be licensed!

And you can only own one at a time!

When it comes to bullets,

and if you own more than fifty,

you're guilty of a serious “crime”!

There are no exceptions,

there is no appeal.

So NRA is

anti-Israel?

————————

*US conservatives like to point out that both societies are well-armed, but the similarity ends there: Israelis trust their state, and don’t fear each other

The Times Of Israel, March 1, 2018

№ 702.1: EXTRA! And Kurds Bank Never Lent Me Money Either

Fact-checking Trump's claim that Kurds did not help the US in WWII and Normandy invasion

“As somebody wrote in a very very powerful article today, they didn't help us in the Second World War, they didn't help us with Normandy,” Trump said. . .

TRUMP CHECKING (October 10)

Not only the Kurds played hooky from Normandy,
there were no Israelis there either.
Germans were present, that can't be denied,
but I seem to recall they were the other side.
Finns and Italians were nowhere to be seen.
The Russians were , I think, occupied elsewhere.
Had Donnie been born and not been by bone spurs bed-ridden,
I am confident he'd have kept himself hidden.

№ 557.2: EXTRA! A New Revelation Revealed (Really!)

Pompeo says God may have sent Trump to save Israel from Iran

US Secretary of State Mike Pompeo has said it is "possible" that President Donald Trump was sent by God to save Israel from Iran.

WASHINGTON, March 23

This just in. And it's truly stunning.

Trump is revealed as the second (first?) coming,

come to save Israel from evil Iran

Syria, Qatar and Pakistan.

Actually anywhere Muslims are found

but since Muslims hate dogs, not the dog pound

where all things Trump do tend to go

since none has the ever been judged “best in show”.

Therefor, if one is hunting for witches,

one only need look where these sons of bitches

congregate, salivate, dementedly fulminate:

“We've told you a thousand times if we've told you once,

Trump is the chosen one, Gott ist mit uns.”

[corrected 3/22/2019, 10:30 pm EDT]

№ 342: Damn-O-Crazy (Populism Goes Pop)

Many in Russia still miss the Czar.
They can not help it.
That's just how they are.
Don't tell me Germans are all that much wiser.
Many, I'm certain,
would welcome the Kaiser.
And, if you say,
“Well, that's just their thing”,
consider France or Israel
where they'd chance a king.
What we are seeing is a world-wide distemper
among the masses who long for an Emperor.
From Iran to China to Ethiopia
people prefer their local dystopia.

Everywhen, everywhere the story's the same
“good” people seeking someone to blame
for their lot choosing a leader
who says there's a plot,
and promises life'll be easier
after — guess what? — the bad guys get shot.
Before we in U.S. go,
“Tsk, tut, hrump!”,
remember our wild card,
the Joker, Donald J. Trump.