№ 829: Jared (an appreciation)

THE BEAST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS (April 6) —

JARED IS a super hero.

He gave us Middle East peace.

Any ability he doesn't “own”,

you may be sure he can borrow or lease.

Remember how he solved infrastructure

and never dirtied his hands?

How he simplified government structure,

doing away with all legal demands?

Jared rules the Department of Justice,

though he is not a lawyer.

Jared can stick his nose anywhere

because he married the boss's daughter.

Jared fixed the NAFTA imbalance,

so now trade with Mexico's fair.

(Even though nothing much changed,

but, happily, Donnie remains unaware.)

Jared (totally) froze Christie out

of the administration

to which all America applauded as one

so show their appreciation.

Jared is in charge of THE WALL

and overall immigrant policy

even though — how can I put it? —-

his history is rather  George Wallacey.

Jared is, by far, Donnie's favorite.

After all, Ivanka's a girl.

To be fair, compared to Eric and Junior,

Jared seems like a pearl.

Jared will cure coronavirus.

This will assure that the Trump empire is

in perfect position for reelection.

(Ignoring US's Greatest Depression.)

Jared is brilliant, forthright, and brave.

What might he accomplish once he starts to shave?

№ 689.1: EXTRA! It Takes One Two No One

Robert O'Brien attended ‘routinely racist’ university in apartheid South Africa

Donald Trump’s new national security adviser studied at the segregated University of the Orange Free State

South Africa at the time was considered a pariah state and faced wide-ranging academic, sporting and cultural boycotts, backed by the UN. The US imposed sanctions in 1986, after Congress pushed through the Comprehensive Anti-Apartheid Act, overriding a veto by Ronald Reagan.

YOUGOTTAPROBLEMWITHSOMETHIN (September 24)

So what my guy supports apartheid?

It's not like he's some kind of Muslim.

(I don't mind good ones who murder journalists,

I mean like the terrorist hoodlums

who cheered from their roof when TWIN TOWERS collapsed.

I remember! That's proof! You've “forgotten”, perhaps?)

And he's not Hispanic. So what's the panic?

O'BRIEN is not Gonzales.

He's pure European like you and like me,

is not that sufficient solace.

I would if I could but sadly I can't

resurrect and appoint the late, great George Wallace.