№ 606.1: EXTRA! Trump This!

Trump says Russia helped elect him – then quickly backtracks

President tweeted he ‘had nothing to do with Russia helping me get elected’, then retracted it: ‘Russia did not help me’

TRUMPWORLD, May 30

When I said Russia helped me.

I really meant they did not.

Gott im Himmler above protect me.

It's part of a Democrat plot.

As a matter of fact

my Twitter was hacked

to make me seem senile.

(Plus Putin finding my
being venal congenial.)

№ 598.1: EXTRA! The Tenderfoot Lender — Bone Spurred

Deutsche Bank staff saw suspicious Trump and Kushner activity – report 

Several financial moves by legal entities controlled by Donald Trump and Jared Kushner between 2016 and 2017 triggered suspicious activity alerts inside Deutsche Bank, a major lender to the Trump family, according to a report in the New York Times.

Suspicious activity reports were prepared for filing with the US treasury for investigation as possible federal financial crimes. According to the Times, bank executives overruled the employees and did not alert the government.

KLEPTOCRACY CITY, May 20

Add Donald to Deutsch Bank
plus Russian “unknowns”,
what do you get —
a GAME OF LOANS:
laundering cash
for Vlad's oligarchs.
(Where, when we need you,
are you Karl Marx?)
Instead of due diligence,
doing their fullest,
Trump's Deutsch Bank pallies
played Sergeant Schultz. 

Email subscribers click here.

[updated 5/20/2019 5:20 p.m.]

No. 208.2: EXTRA! The Leaning Tower

Trump Ocean Club drew people accused of corruption and future president benefited from laundered funds — Guardian: Trump's Panama tower used for money-laundering by condo owners, reports say

Because I'm a germaphobe,

I launder money

to kill microbes.

Nothing here “funny”.

It would be rude to conclude

that I would collude

with Latino drug lords

and BFF's oligarchs.

I'm not tied to these deals.

(unless someone squeals.)

Believe me, folks,

I wouldn't fool ya.
Bing-bing,
ding-dong.

(Who's that at the door?

                      ???

Oh no, it's Mueller!)

No. C: Mitch The Glitch

McConnell & Company

don't like democracy.
True patriarchs,

they prefer oligarchs.

The weak and poor
hold no allure.

(And furthermore,

we reek of manure.)