№ 809: Allah-bama Yogi

Alabama bill may lift yoga ban in public schools but prohibit 'namaste' greeting

Lawmakers move to lift decades-old ban, but the bill would continue to prohibit chanting, mantras and the greeting


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(with apologies to Frank Perkins and Mitchell Parish)

DO SOUTH (March 9) —
In this silly Dixie drama
where things “foreign” cause a fright,
yoga now in Allah-bama
a right?

It’s Hindu in pajamas
It's not Islamist, all right?
Okay yoga, Allah-bama,
all right?

Yoga makes for relaxation
with salutation “Namaste”
Would it be okay if we changed it
to say, “Have a nice day”?

It’s not a sickle and a hammer
Why are you always so uptight?
Go do yoga, Allah-bama
Good night

№ 596.2: EXTRA! Bomb Throwers In Gilead

These 25 Republicans – all white men – just voted to ban abortion in Alabama

Legislation makes abortion a crime at any stage of pregnancy, with the only exception for a serious threat to the health of the woman

• Alabama abortion ban: Republican state senate passes most restrictive law in US

HEAVEN ON EARTH, ALABAMA, May 16

We, God's chosen, oppose abortion.

God wants these kids to be born.

From 300 million single-cell swimmers,

God points to one and a baby is born.

Though just one cell, he's a full human being,

already praying, if not yet seeing.

This is pure logic no one can escape.

God is okay with incest and rape.

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