No. 289.1: EXTRA! Looting The Till

Reuters: Trump fires chief diplomat Tillerson after clashes, taps Pompeo

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Till-erson is not my guy

And I will tell you why

“Till” refused to adore me

Till I'm free to rule like Xi

Till I end democracy

Till everything is just for me

Then when I'm seen as divine

And you all lay supine

On the floor there before me

I'll take that as a win

And tell you with a grin

The world is mine, mine, mine

No. 216: The State Of The State Department Department

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson defended plans to slash his own department's budget Tuesday, arguing Washington will need to spend less on diplomacy as armed conflicts come to an end.

Newsmax — Tillerson: State Dept Budget Can Be Cut As Wars Ending

The State Department budget kerfuffle

is not a reorg or personnel shuffle.

It's a revision.

A redef of mission.

If a foreign state ignores his rebuke,

Donald Trump will not hesitate, he'll launch a nuke.

Should some potentate return the favor,

we will not tolerate their misbehavior.

After global nuclear war,

what would a State Department even be for?

Be too late to negotiate.

No one will need Departments of State.

This may be nuts, 

but it funds our tax cuts.

No. CLXXIX: Trump's Afta NAFTA (NO Canada!)

Trump ordered his Depart-

ment of Interior

to take from Canada

all Lake Superior.

(For obvious reasons his favorite Great Lake

which, therefore, he's entitled to take

for his and America's sake),

“Tack it on to Wisconsin,”

(they voted for him), 

“not Minnesota!” 

(where he didn't win),

saying, “If Trudeau 

wants to take issue,

say, 'Oh, Boo-hoo',

and hand him a tissue.

I 'll be back later 

to take Lake Huron.

So, Rex Tillerson, 

now who's the moron?

Ontario, Erie? 

Oh, what the hell?

While I'm here, 

I'll take them as well.

Part, now I think of it, 

of my grand design.

I mean, does Canada 

need all this shore line?

And, while I'm at it,

oh what the heck,

I'll take it all,

except Quebec,

which I'll extinguish

and make 'em speak English...

teach 'em t' tawk,

call it Noo Nort' Noo Yawk!”

No. CLXIII.i: EXTRA! Kamikaze (Calm Or Crazy)

The Week: Report: Tillerson, Mnuchin, and Mattis have a 'suicide pact' where if one resigns, they all do

Tillerson, Mattis, Mnuchin

hit on a solution

to control demented

incompetent president

form a suicide pact

so he dare not attack.

If he goes after one,

the other two run.

A three person NATO

against head of state.

Crazy, but could it work?

Given the moron's a jerk,

They are but three,

not a majority.

The cabinet would have to decide

that time has arrived to choose sides.

Country or mad man?

Duty or bad man?

Provoked,

they'd invoke

Amendment 25

dump the mess

on Congress

as the relevant section provides.

Yes, that’s a joke.

Congress would choke

if they had to act.

And that’s a fact.

Report status.

Mnuchin?

Tillerson?

Mattis?

No. CLXXII: News In Briefs

The President in San Juan

THE LUMP, flapping his jowls,

throws paper towels.

“Have you seen my good friend Maria

the new hurricane on your isle?

You'll know her the minute you see her

destroying your island. Let me see you smile.”

State Department

Beseiged, Tillerson vows to stay on.

Says enjoys working for “a f***ing moron”.

Family Ties

Jared proposed to Ivanka saying, 
“I truly believe I deserve a

princess with her own email server.”

NRA

NRA says do not vote Democratic,

GOP advocates full automatics.

Also silencers, natch,

eliminating the safety catch,

requiring all guns come with bump stocks,

banning forever all trigger locks.

Congress

Ryan postpones silencer law

until voters get over Las Vegas gore.

Abortion

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: Rep.Tim Murphy, popular with pro-life movement, urged abortion in affair,texts suggest

The congressman has been lauded by the Family Research Council, for his stance on abortion, as well as for family values, generally.

Timothy Murphy, please proceed with caution.

This does not enhance your stance on abortion.

Your statements, your tweets, your online rants

mean nothing if you can't keep up your pants.