Thursday, October 5, 2017

No. CLXXII: News In Briefs

The President in San Juan
THE LUMP, flapping his jowls,
throws paper towels.

“Have you seen my good friend Maria
the new hurricane on your isle?
You'll know her the minute you see her
destroying your island. Let me see you smile.”

State Department
Beseiged, Tillerson vows to stay on.
Says enjoys working for “a f***ing moron”.

Family Ties
Jared proposed to Ivanka saying, 
“I truly believe I deserve a
princess with her own email server.”

NRA
NRA says do not vote Democratic,
GOP advocates full automatics.
Also silencers, natch,
eliminating the safety catch,
requiring all guns come with bump stocks,
banning forever all trigger locks.

Congress
until voters get over Las Vegas gore.

Abortion

The congressman has been lauded by the Family Research Council, for his stance on abortion, as well as for family values, generally.

Timothy Murphy, please proceed with caution.
This does not enhance your stance on abortion.
Your statements, your tweets, your online rants
mean nothing if you can't keep up your pants.