№ 577.3: EXTRA! Doctrine Air (an Easter special edition)

GILEAD, April 20

Our preacher tells us THE BIBLE

is ultimate, absolute TRUTH.

Neither he nor we can read the original

so whatever he says is our proof.

We prefer praying to thinking.

There's no need for science with God.

To think otherwise is unseasonable

and is considered a little bit odd.

We see no need for logic.

Logic's like witchcraft. But worse.

The only thing you ever need know

is BIBLICAL chapter and verse.

We are opposed to Sharia.

But. . .since we've no sins to atone. . .

in the event Sharia's imposed,

we'll happily cast the first stone.

All we want is our freedom

to live in accord with God's will.

Those who choose some other way

therefore will have to be killed.

№ 561.2 EXTRA! Christian View Of Sharia Law, Accentuate The Positive

Brunei brings in death by stoning as punishment for gay sex

From 3 April, people in the tiny south-east Asian kingdom will be subject to a draconian new penal code based on sharia law

Brunei is to begin imposing death by stoning as a punishment for gay sex and adultery from next week, as part of the country’s highly criticised implementation of sharia law.

REPUBLIC OF GILEAD, March 28

We know we're God's chosen

though there may be a flaw

in our opposition

to Sharia Law.

Stoning fags and adulterers

makes perfect sense

and would be commended

by VP Mike Pence.

But removing thieves' hands

strikes us as extreme

and would hurt the economy. . .

if you know what we mean.

With banning all alcohol,

we're fine and dandy,

but lay off our ciggies

and don't touch our candy.

Mass capital punishment

could cause a fuss,

but we're okay with prison

for all folks not us.

№ 415.1: EXTRA! A Pence Sharia Accomplice

Guardian: Indonesian province bans men and women from dining together

Islamic Aceh district rules only married or related couples can eat out at the same table

Now before you go saying, “Golly! Pshaw!”,

note that Mike Pence supports this Sharia Law.

(Something, I'll warrant, he never foresaw.)

A religious fanatic loves being dogmatic

and often indulges in thought acrobatic

which, while not democratic, can be dramatic.

No. LXVII: Sharia (and Sharia alike), a "Christian" perspective

Sharia Law
should give pause
because
it's like ours

abortion verboten
divorce discouraged
false faiths disparaged
no intermarriage

Quran and Bible
both fine with slavery
(and other things
non-believers call knavery)

forget democracy

Quran and Bible
demand theocracy

women's rights
are a bit different
(because Bible enforcement is. . .insufficient!)

LGBT choice
if you ask a true Christian
you'll find he parrots Quran's position

oh, multiple wives
(like old-timey Mormons)
most Christian guys
would happ'ly conform in

so no need to bother
don't bother to fuss
Muslims aren't different from us

if it's our turn again

on the back of the bus

what's to discuss