Wednesday, December 19, 2018

№ 490: Future News — My Faire Donald Indicted

(with apologies to Alan Jay Lerner and Frederick Lowe)

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I got indicted just this mornin',
although there really was no crime.
Just some confusion concerning collusion.
Rudy tells me it'll all be fine.
I saw it all on FOX this mornin'.
They said I'm lookin' at hard time.
Mueller's a hard on.
I beg my pardon.
Not to worry it's gonna be just fine.
Melanie, go fetch me
my Diet Coke.
They can't upset me,
whole thing is a joke.
Tho' I got indicted just this mornin'.
They know I'm guilty real big time,
but they can't convict me
or even restrict me.
I swear on my life,
like I cheat on my wife,
the whole damn thing is sure to turn out fine.

I got indicted just this mornin',
although there really was no crime.
Did Junior back flip? Did Eric jump ship?
Makes no diff, it'll still be fine.
Been watching FOX & Friends all mornin'
Not been a really happy time.
And tho' I'm stable,
I cut the cable.
Maybe there'll only be a fine?
Will all my lyin'
now bring me down?
Will they for screwin'
run me outta town?
I got indicted just this mornin',
although there really was no crime.
Take pity on me.
Don't Roseanne Barr me.
Please say everything. . .
I could be you king. . .
Please, please tell me that I'll be fine.

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