Wednesday, April 18, 2018

No. 315: Foreign Policy (subject to change without prior notice or, honestly, thought)

WASHINGTON — President Trump rejected, for now at least, a fresh round of sanctions set to be imposed against Russia on Monday, a course change that underscored the schism between the president and his national security team.

Putin's no crook from what I can tell.
And anyway I want a Moscow hotel.
So take your damned sanctions and you go to hell.

Vlad is a lad (as I've said all along)
who knows how to govern, how to be strong.
The best we can do is just play along.

Okay, so maybe he seizes Crimea.
But what does that matter to you and to me, huh?
None of our business from what I see. Yuh.

And Eastern Ukraine? Don't be a pain.
Who cares if they lose so long as I gain?
Let the damned place go down the drain.

I am everyday wearier of this business with Syria.
Intel briefings drag on, my eyes get blearier
and I order snacks from the cafeteria.

High tariffs for China? What could be finer?
And it plays well in South Carolina.
(Driver, pull over, let's stop at that diner.)

Rocketman Kim's ridiculous trim
will be standing on end when I'm finished with him
and that will be just a prelim

to what I do on the Mexican border
to teach those Ponchos to behave as they orta.
I would not let one of THEM marry my daughter!

And here's a news flash that'll knock off your socks:
I'm outsourcing policy to my Friends at FOX.
So, you got a problem? Go see the Murdochs!