№ 612: Free Will. . .Until (eh, mate?)

LIKE FREE LUNCH ONLY MORESO, June 6

We may have a little bit of free will.
Until we're waylaid by puberty.
Ovaries ripen, testes descend.
And then:
chronic, lifelong lack of salubrity.

We become a scramble
of pubic hair brambles,
mammary glands, facial stubble.
Then it is only a matter of time
before we find we're in trouble.

Fullness of lips,
biceps and hips:
the deceiving tips
of the sexberg.
Alluring means
developed by genes
to confuse the senses
and override reason.
We come into season —
defeated, defenseless —
and as intended
mating commences.

It may appear
this is our idea.
Tommyrot!
It is not!

[updated 6/8/2019 9:54 pm]

№ 611: Donald D-Day (or fiddledeedee, how could anyone not worship me?)

NEW ROME, June 5

Let us now praise Donald J. Trump,

sign petitions for making him king.

Think of wonders that could unfold,

the happiness that he would bring

as absolute ruler whose word would be law

unencumbered by courts and congressional meddling.

Donald, you know, is guided by God,

he's the fourth leg of the Trinity.

Only a Socialist-Democrat-dog

would dare question his subprime divinity.

Kneel in abasement before God's replacement!

Bow and kowtow in self-effacement.

Lavishly laud, be awed and applaud.

DON'T think he's odd, not equal to God,

unless you're prepared to be under the sod.

(NOR that he is a mentally ill, shrill carny shill,

that with him in charge we're heading downhill.)

If you still feel you must such stuff relate,

I suggest you adjust your estate

and kindly remember him in your will,

for he is a figure much like Caligula.

№ 610: Relative Reality — A Physics Perspective (or emcee squared equals really not much at all)

TIMEANDSPACE, June 4

Most of the universe is empty space.
Nothing is everywhere, emptiness everyplace.
Matter is energy and energy's matter,
Einstein informs us the former's the latter.
Eleven dimensions with Latin declensions
give rise to us masses' incomprehensions.

If all that exists is groupings of atoms,
what is the purpose of scheming and stratagems?
What is the point of “conquer we must”
if in the end we're not even dust?
Merely a wave of fixed behavior —
an indefinite article? Perhaps, a particle?
Or some things, equational “strings”,
combined and condensed into a mass?
Given time, this too shall pass.

Everything everywhere's a knock-on effect
of which we're neither subject nor object.
We glorious, god-like, would-be supreme beings
are less than extras in cosmic crowd scenes.
If our dimension is viewed from afar
would it be seen that we even are?

Coda
From deep space and time observing this dump
would anything notice Donald J. Trump?

№ 609.1 EXTRA!: Bigotry In The Eye, Ear, Nose, Throat and Craw

Jared Kushner says President Donald Trump is “absolutely not” a bigot or a racist

Kushner struggled to answer questions about allegations of racism facing Trump while being interviewed by Axios

TRUTH NEVER LANSDS, June 4

That Donald's no bigot cannot be news

He has, over time, met bootblacks and Jews.

(He always says, “Black folks think I'm so fine

I don't stand on no line when I wants me a shine!”)

Though he and Dad Fred would not rent to blacks

they hired Jewish accountants to fiddle their taxes.

(Some of whom, so it's been said,

did such a good job that they got paid.

As for divorce. . .Jewish lawyers. Of course.

He respects how these lawyers know where they're goin',

though now he prefers a Cohn to a Cohen.

I mean, after all, is he really to blame

for thinking all Jewish lawyers the same?

His daughter, Ivanka, is Jewish Orthodox,

but he absolves her because she's a fox.

And while we are on the subject of hotties,

Trump's a great pal of Bibi's near Nazis.

№ 609: Making America Sad Again (or yes, #MASA)

THE SWAMP, June 3

NOW with the barbarians here at the gate,
NOW is the time, before it's too late,
NOW time to say “You don't belong here”,
NOW time to tell them to disappear.

MANY are criminals, uncouth and unclean
demeaning the meaning of human being.
We the People resist these less than third rate
#MAGA barbarians blocking the gate.

№ 608.1: EXTRA! Jeopardy Lessens

WHAT FACTUALLY MATTERS, June 3

“What is James Holzhauer?” (Paywall)
And why should we care?
Granted he did have a bit of a flair
for Jeopardy trivia.
(What IS Namibia?)

Sadly, today
we have to report
in the long run,
James came up short,
missing the record by 22K.
Sometimes it seems
things happen that way.

While James was impressive
think what Donald'd do
with that big stable brain
and his genius IQ.

№ 608: Brexit Cont'd.

THERE'LL ALWAYS BE AN ENGLAND BUT IT NOT BE SO GREAT, June 2

Nigel Farage, plenipotentiary,
from a far, far long gone
previous century
when Britannia was grand
ruling the waves,
minting pounds sterling
from peasants and slaves.

Oh, to return to
those days of old when
everyone did
what Westminster told them.
Farage could be right.
As could Boris Johnson.
Is Nigel Holmes
to Boris's Watson?

Fiddle-dee-dee.
Hey diddle-deedle.
Sing all in chorus,
“Quick, Boris, the needle!?”

№ 607.3: EXTRA! Untoward Christian Soldier

Rhode Island bishop sorry for saying Pride events ‘harmful for children’
Prelate: LBGTQ month ‘contrary to Catholic faith and morals’
Pride organiser: ‘Jesus never said a word about homosexuality’ 

The Catholic bishop of Providence, Rhode Island has apologized for saying Pride month events in support of LGBTQ rights were “especially harmful for children”, saying he did not mean to cause offense.

NEW ROME, June 2

Catholic bishops are ignorant bigots.
Excuse me, I mean no offense.
Regardless of that they may be “fine people”
as someone could say in their defense.

Why, if I may,
ask, by the way,
should we care today
what bishops say?

№ 607.2: EXTRA! Donald Rocks A Dead Man's Boat

Military Reviews Handling of White House Request to Obscure USS John McCain

Navy officials haven’t determined how long it took before the initial directive and its suspension

TRUMPLAND, June 2

They say there was a boat
named for John McCain.
Where have I ever
before heard that name?
Whoever he was
is now a mystery
that is because
I'm rewriting history
like my buddy Kim
who follows his whim
by making everything
all about him.

When an enemy dies
he becomes nameless.
That is why I
am John McCainless.