№ 772: Trump Is Just A Four Letter Word

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SLOUGH OF DESPOND (January 16)

(with apologies to Bob Dylan)

Seems as tho' the GOP lost its collective mind,
either that or they de-cid-ed, “better to be blind”
Donnie knows this con-stit-u’ncy
will ig-nore his lax mor-al-it-y
so long as his ev’ry ap-point-ee
en-for-ces their re-lig-i-os-ity 
no way 
of making Donnie ever go away

Outside of Dem-o-crats (some who might be worse),
no one an-y-where can free us of this curse
Of can-did-ates, there were — at least — a score,
al-most ev'ry one a bore
with whom Donnie’d mop the floor
as in des-per-a-tion, Dems search for 
some way 
of making Donnie somehow go away

Dem’s never know it’s time to go when their ammo's spent
Donnie’s crowd is “loud and proud” and they do not relent
They’ve got guns and the Dems have none 
come High Noon showdown Dems are done
So Dems sit back and sip some good Bordeaux
no point in fighting toe-to-toe
no way 
of somehow making Donnie go away

Though Nancy did her level best, impeachment can not work,
not with Mitch and GOP backing up the jerk
The high crimes and mis-de-mean-ors clause
is not enough to even give them pause
because they know Donnie knows no law
and if he did, they know that he’d ig-nore,
(no matter that the whole wide world de-plored)
anyone or anything he saw as moored 
in his way 
and to-tal-ly refuse to go away

Re-mem-ber how we were taught no one's above the law
A pretty thought that counts for naught as Donnie clearly saw
Now that Donnie's found Ar-tic-le II
there is no tell-ing what he’ll do
with his short attention span and shorter fuse
and his pred-i-lec-tion to ab-use
given the Su-preme Court’s skew-er-ed views, 
I’d say
there is no way that Donnie goes away

№ 771: Trump, Whether Vane

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DENIAL IN WINTER (January 15)

(with apologies to Carly Simon)

I won ov-er the Party

(NOT part of some Putin plot!)

Bew-t-ful hair exquisitely brushed,

my skin tinted apricot

With one eye on the mirror

(am I great, or what?)

And all the girls wish I'd ask them to “date me”

ask them to “date me”, but

I’m not vain
It's just that everything is about me

I’m not vain,

I  know the song is always about me

So true!

So true!

That one I had years ago

when she still pretended “naive”

I told her she had a real pretty pair

and whichever wife I’d leave

But you know I lied, of course,

it’s my pedigree

I may be scum, but these are such dumb broads,

such God-damn dumb broads, but

I’m not vain

I know the song is always about me

I’m not vain,

I just know ALL songs are always about me

So true!

So true!
So true!

I may be scum, but these are such dumb broads,

such fuck-ing dumb broads, but

I’m not vain

I know the song is always about me

I’m not vain,

I just know ALL songs are always about me

So true!

So true!

When I am Em-per-or I’ll wear a toga

to hide my enormous butt

And if I play golf wearing a “dress” 

then I can cheat when I putt

I’m in the limelight all the time

but when I’m not, I’m with
some Russian guy

or the wife of a close friend,

wife of a close friend, but

I’m not vain

I just know everything is about me

I’m not vain,

I just know each and every song is about me

So true!

So true!

So true!

I’m not vain,

I just know each and every song is about me

I’m not vain,

I just know each and every song is about me
I’m not vain. . .

№ 770.1: EXTRA! Two Many Popes Spoil

Two Popes, and One Big Furor After Benedict Weighs in on Priestly Celibacy (Paywall)

In a new book, the former pope makes a firm defense of celibacy for priests as Pope Francis is expected to decide whether to allow married priests in remote regions. Let the intrigue begin.

 NOT BUILT IN A DAY (January 15)

When popes disagree on celibacy,

a Vatican matter of delicacy,

which “Holiness” (or “Excellency”?)

will point to the other’s irrelevancy?

With real world factors causing despair,

I have to ask, “Why should anyone care

whether priests can be legally wed,

when those ‘in the no’ say religion is dead?”)

№ 770: Chances Are

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DO OVER (January 14)

(with apologies to Bob Dylan)

We’re in pain, more loss than gain, our future’s past

It was fun, a real good run, it could not last

Our time is up, the piper must be paid

Though we stall, it can not be de-layed

Trump or not, there is no other way,

it’s all over, so long USA

It's not im-mi-grants, un-i-ons or mi-nor-it-ies

Too late, an-y-ways, t’ change pri-or-it-ies

It isn't Bi-bles . . . Je-sus, it ain’t guns

It’s about what natch-er-ly comes

Countries rise and fall, that's hist'ry's way

And the time is up, so good-bye, USA

All mission’ries and sci-en-tists and so-cial-ists

claimin’ t' have answers . . . they are useless pests

Climate change, en-vir-on-ment collapse

These are facts, there is no per-haps

We've taken ev'rything Earth had to give

And it’s all over now, Western Civ


Leave the stepping stones behind there's something that calls for you

All the debts we've left, they are now coming due

The vag-a-bonds now at our border door

are standing in the clothes that we once wore

Drill an-oth-er well, that’s all we do

We're so over now, Red, White and Blue

№ 769: Au Canada?

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SOMEDAY SOON (January 13)

(with apologies to Ian Tyson)

There’s a crass man we all know

his name is Donald Trump

comes from Queens

in New York City

If he makes you nervous

it shows you’re not a chump

Someday soon, he may kill us

someday soon

Dem-o-crats can't stand him

because he’s de-struct-o

Republicans believe he is 

The Messiah

and let him get away with things

even though they know

he very well may kill us

someday soon

But, maybe, come the fall

we can make him go away,

elect someone almost as bad,
but in a different way

So, fingers crossed, here's hopin’

the country isn’t done

who really wants to move up north and be near Meg-han 

Neither she nor Harry

mean anything to me

Dump the Pantaloon (if only),

someday soon


But, maybe, come the fall

we will make him go away,

elect someone almost as bad,
but in a different way

So, fingers crossed, here's hopin’

the country isn’t done

who really wants to move up north and be near Meg-han 

Neither she nor Harry

mean anything to me

Dump the Pantaloon (please God,

someday soon)

Dump the Pantaloon (please God,

someday soon)

№ 768: Over The Presidential Rainbow (Donnie reacts to reaction to Suleimani take-out)

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IMPERIAL PALACE (January 12)

(with apologies to Harold Arlen and E. Y. Harburg)

Un-fair,

it is ap-pal-ling

You know why

Al-so,

I call it gal-ling,

a strong guy like me could cry

Un-fair,
these lim-i-ta-tions
I tell you
I can do what I want to
it says in Ar-tic-le II

Each day I wake,

eat steak and cake,

watch FOX,

I tweet and make mis-takes

I’m balm-y

I curse the Dems

the hers and hims

and then I down a dozen Cokes

to calm me

Un-fair,

others are free to 

kill a guy

Vlad, MSB, Kim and Xi kill 

why, then, oh why, can’t I?

Each day I wake,

eat steak and cake,

watch FOX,

I tweet and make mis-takes

I’m bal-my

I curse the Dems

the hers and hims

and then I down a dozen Cokes

to calm me

Un-fair,

others are free to 

kill a guy

If Vlad and Bibi can kill 

why, then, oh why, can’t I?