№ 532.1: EXTRA! Humpty-Trumpty

Humpty-Trumpty

says, “Build a wall”

Humpty-Trumpty

then has the gall

to tell his horses asses,

women and men,

“I made America

great once again.”

№ 532: EMERGENCY!

Email subscribers click here.

Trump to Sign Spending Deal, Declare National Emergency

Democrats are expected to challenge any efforts to move money around without congressional approval

THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!

Don't give me your 

sanity counterinsurgency.
I am not Lilliputian
bound by the “rules”
of some “Constitution”.

I don't need Congress.

I don't need courts.

I am the founder

of TRUMP RESORTS!

(And I have many

CRIMINAL COHORTS

more than willing

to do as I bid

soon as I say

who to get rid of.

So long Jim Acosta,

FAKE NEWS impostor.)

If Dems dare try

to replace me,

then they get Pence!!!

Hence, I am free

to rule by decree.

People, 
follow MY law

down to the letter.

That'll show Vlad

who dictates better.

№ 531: Humpty-Trumpty (or Donald in wee tweet)

I (all by myself) could finish the wall 

and it would take no time at all.

But if I did, it would not be fair

and besides working might muss my hair.

I could supervise with my no nutzing smirk

and make illegals do the real work

that's what I do at Trump Resorts —

instead of pay, instant deports.

The wall will be built.

I swear by my spinach!

Unless someone tells me,

“Donald, you're finished!”

№ 530: Humility

Is being a rank mediocrity 

worse than being a failure?

If mediocre's the best you can do,

then, at least, you have an excuse

for all your shortcomings and flailings.

(Not to mention your doggerel railings!)

By definition, half of us will

always score below average.

Big pond/small fish vs

small pond/big fish is

something you have to

learn how to deal with.

Whether you choose

to stay in your place

or try instead to

pick up the pace

you're going to lose

in the human race.

That is a fact

you have to face.

The very best thing

about our democracy:

some have the chance

to achieve mediocrity.

Many who do

tend toward grandiosity

and tell us their story

with humble pomposity.

It matters not

at the end of the game.

When the asteroid hits

we're all the same.

№ 529.2: EXTRA! What A Worthless Jerk Is Man

Politicians are complicit in the killing of our insects – we will be next

Insects are essential for the proper functioning of all ecosystems. If policymakers don’t act now, we’re all in trouble

Young mountain lion shot and killed by Napa homeowner days after it’s collared for study (Paywall)

Investigators with the state department determined the killing was justified, spokesman Peter Tira said Tuesday.

We kill bugs

and mountain lions.

If we leave somethin livin'. . .

don't mean we ain't tryin'

to claim dominion

just like it says 
in Genesis.

Wanna see elephants,

whales, eagles, pandas?

Watch YouTube clips 

on your shoreline veranda,

which once was well inland

but with seas rising

a Tennessee seashore

ain't that surprising.

Anyways, even it there's really a problem,

it's good exercise – tryin' to solve 'em.

We are advanced – some say evolved*.

There is no problem that we can not solve

while making us powerful

and even more rich –

even if there's

an occasional glitch,

a minor setback,

like something which

will make us sit back

maybe say, “Sonufabitch!”

Coda:

We, H. Saps., think always,

“We have the answer.”

When, truth to tell,

we are a cancer

metastasizing, moving “ahead”

until at long last everything's dead.

Call it Creation. Or evolution.

We ourselves are THE FINAL SOLUTION.

_____________

*Not, however in Tennessee. See The State of Tennessee v. John Thomas Scopes. 

№ 529.1: EXTRA! Deepen The Art Of Texas

Tiger surprise: weed smokers find big cat in abandoned Houston home

It is legal to own a tiger in Texas if the owner has a wild game permit. But it is illegal to have a tiger in Houston.

In Texas, as y'all might expec',

we think reg-glue-ation's

a pain in the neck.

Therefore we cain't hardly objec'

or think it's outrageous

to keep tiger's in cages

wherever you're roostin'.

(Except in Houston.)

Ain't nobody's business,

no how, no way.

'N tigers is knowd

t' keep Mexies away.

№ 529: Darwin Day

DaySix Design, Ltd.

Late in the day, Day 6          

Dear MADAM or SIR:

In receipt of YOURS of Day 5, in re: need to populate a world presently under construction.

We believe the product described below would meet YOUR requirement. (See enclosed prospectus for further details.)

It is our understanding that YOU have already installed products from other vendors on this world.

Please note: our products may be incompatible with products not designed and built to our exacting standards.

PROPOSAL

We recommend two Homo erectus,

page forty-two, "All Creatures Prospectus".

Speech configed with internal diaphragm,

grunts and growls, may later ask "why I am?".

A proof-of-concept working prototype!

GREAT potential!

                (Okay, that's over-hype.

Sparsely equipped, upright but ungainly--

some bugs to work out, in the brain mainly,

built on the cheap as an experiment,

spare parts collage, leftover "excrement".)

Cheap at the price!

                    If YOU have to think twice...

YOU might like our mice...

                    Who are very nice.

Under the circumstances, we can not guarantee suitability for YOUR purpose which, frankly, we can not comprehend.

Should YOU have further occasion to call worlds into existence, we strongly advise that YOU contact us beforehand!

N.B. Prices shown in prospectus are for standard models. If customization required, please provide YOUR image to enable us to estimate additional charges.

Prices and specifications subject to change without prior notice. Prohibited where void.

YOURS truly,                  

Homo Ergaster                 

DaySix Design, Ltd.           

№ 528: A Denaturing Agent

Plummeting insect numbers 'threaten collapse of nature'

“Unless we change our ways of producing food, insects as a whole will go down the path of extinction in a few decades....The repercussions this will have for the planet’s ecosystems are catastrophic to say the least.”

Computer viruses,

lab-made diseases,

atom bombs, missiles,

blockchain currencies-es —

though these would

make future grim,

they are not what 

will do us in.

It never was

in our best interest

to set about

to slaughter all insects.

Creepy crawlies

make nature “tic”.

If they disappear,

we'll follow quick.

Nature's bargain with them

is strict and contractual.

We bring in things

entirely unnatural.

She prefers insects,

in whom she trusts.

Humans to her

are superfluous.

Here in THE CITY

as THE END approaches

I take comfort knowing

we'll still have roaches.

And rats.

And probably pigeons.

And, if it comes to that,

Judeo-Christian religion.

These must be viewed

not as albatrosses,

but as payback

for all other losses.

As much as I'd love to

it is im-pon-sib-le

to honestly say

religion's responsible.

(“Religion” and “honestly” in a

non-negative sentence?

A non sequitur

or non compos mentis?)

We're forever offside

on lines of scrimmage.

Is this because

we're made in God's image?

Or is it, perhaps,

with age God got sloppier?

Or someone has messed

with His Heavenly Copier?

Could it be, here's a thought

that's liable to scare MAN:

up in heaven the devil's

the Xerox repair man.