№ 522.1: EXTRA! A Meeting Of The Mines (an offer that can't be refused?)

Trump Discusses Claims of ‘Fake News,’ and Their Impact, With New York Times Publisher (Paywall)

In an unusual arrangement, the publisher of The Times, A. G. Sulzberger, joined two of the paper’s White House correspondents in conducting Thursday’s interview, and he took the lead in questioning the president about his attacks on the press.

“I came from Jamaica, Queens, Jamaica Estates, and I became president of the United States,” Mr. Trump said. “I’m sort of entitled to a great story — just one — from my newspaper.”

Hear me out, Sulzberder.

It isn't too late

to cook up a story

saying I'm great.

If you do that

(and soft pedal my crimes)

I will stop saying 

@FailingTimes

Then you can ditch

Arab-Mexican Slim

and I will tell Rupert

you'll sell it to him.

№ 522: Trumpeting Tweets On Intel

Trump’s Attacks on Spy Agencies Are Called a National Security Risk

Intelligence experts and lawmakers criticize public statements that officials are ‘passive and naive’ on Iran threat

WASHINGTON—President Trump questioned the competence of U.S. intelligence agencies whose assessments of Iran, North Korea and other threats differ from his own, sparking warnings from national security experts and lawmakers that such public comments expose the U.S. to greater risks.

“The Intelligence people seem to be extremely passive and naive when it comes to the dangers of Iran. They are wrong!” Mr. Trump said in one morning tweet. In another, he wrote, “Perhaps Intelligence should go back to school!”

4:07 A.M.

I know naïve. Believe me.

Just look at all of my wives.

AND, unless the ratings deceive me,

billions of Tweeters trust ME with there lives.

So when I tweet that MY  “intel” sources —

DNI, CIA and  FBI —

should “go back to school” (take Trump U. courses?)....

4:19 A.M.

....let's leave it at: I can not tell a lie.

WHENEVER I speak, what I say is true,

even if  “facts” say there not.

If you don't agree, let me tell you,

in Russia you would be shot.

Dear Mother Russia, where my pal Putin,

a GREAT & STRONG leader (frankly, a flirt.)....

4:69 A.M.

....I'm taller and smarter. And better looking.

Moreover, I own a shirt.

№ 521: Trump's Cogent Thoughts On Immigrants (the twit tweets)

3:01 A.M.

Illegal immigrants are everywhere

so we need to seal all our borders.

Socialist Democrats I guess do not care

that these drug dealing thugs threaten our daughters.

Why do they invade us?

To vote for Hillary. To rape and pillage!

When it's not even worse.....

3:07 A.M.

....Mad Muslim terrorists control Greenwich Village!

And you thought Rent Live was accursed?

3:10 A.M.

I cannot stand them,

though the work cheap —

much less than minimum wage.

That's why I hire them

at all my businesses

and keep their kids in a cage.

They dare not complain
that I treat them badly

or that I'm breaking the law.

If they ever tried,....

3:17 A.M.

....I have them deported.

That's what our laws are for.

Keeping us rich guys

always on top

in any and all situations.

That's what Adam Smith someone said wrote

in his book The Wealth Of Nathans.

Not that I read it. Too boring, too long.

And anyway what did Smith know?.....

5:25 A.M.

.....Though, like me, he was a Scot,

he never starred in a great TV show.

SAD #MEGA #HANDSNOTSMALL

#BUILDTHEWALL

№ 520: Staff Selection, Trump Reflection, Dereliction, Staph Infection

I choose the people 
for my inner circle
so I can play golf 
while they do the work, 
all slavishly striving 
in my looming shadow
courting my favor, 
it makes me so glad. 
Oh, if they make me cross, 
of course, they get booted
but they don't complain 
'cuz they're needy and stupid —
sad, insecure, human debris.
In fact, they are all 
losers like me.

№ 519: Ethnic Cleansing Aisle 6?

Nautilus:

You’re Descended from Royalty and So Is Everybody Else

Anybody you can name from ancient history is in your family tree.

You are of royal descent, because everyone is. You are of Viking descent, because everyone is. You are of Saracen, Roman, Goth, Hun, Jewish descent, because, well, you get the idea. All Europeans are descended from exactly the same people, and not that long ago. Everyone alive in the 10th century who left descendants is the ancestor of every living European today, including Charlemagne, and his children Drogo, Pippin, and, of course, not forgetting Hugh. If you’re broadly eastern Asian, you’re almost certain to have Genghis Kahn sitting atop your tree somewhere in the same manner, as is often claimed. If you’re a human being on Earth, you almost certainly have Nefertiti, Confucius, or anyone we can actually name from ancient history in your tree, if they left children. The further back we go, the more the certainty of ancestry increases, though the knowledge of our ancestors decreases. It is simultaneously wonderful, trivial, meaningless, and fun.

Well! Goodness gracious. What are we to do?

We're all of us Christian, Muslim and Jew

and Buddhist, animist and Hindu, too,

and Chinese and French and Native American

and, in addition, we're all sub-Saharan?

The Math says genetically we are a stew?

There's no discreet “me”? There's no discrete “you”?

One single clan

causes all wobbles?

Put history down

to family squabbles?
Despite whatever 
we say or think,
we're in this together?
(Nudge-nudge, wink-wink.)

How could this be?
Math, surely you jest.
Remember the motto
on our family crest?
Whatever — FOR EV-ER! —
delenda est.

[updated 1/29/2019 10:07 am]

№ 518: Toasting Libertarians

To all Libertarians,

you Ayn Randian

professed successors to Socrates:

Please excuse if

you think I am grim. . .

but Socrates? You do know

what happened to him?

If not, I'm sorry

the subject came up.

This one is on me.

Bottoms up!